This new reality

This new reality

I was sitting with Bron – my lovely hairdresser and sponsor – who has recently lost her husband to COVID, and chatting about how the past few months have been for pretty much every single person on earth. As Bron would say; “we have all gone through the most”. Before New year’s, I’d see the messages and meme’s on social media where some may say: “waiting to see who’s gone through hell during 2020”.

But is that not just it? As a collective, we’ve all been pushed one way or the other. We’ve been tested and let’s face it, whether you suffer from anxiety or not, you cannot leave your home without feeling the anxiety and tension in the air. What did you do to CHANGE things though? I mean what are you now doing differently that you never dreamt of a year ago?

We have all been forced and to change some of the other routine, habit, outlook, job, hobby etc somewhere along the line. What used to be 9 – 5 (or 8 – 5) for most people have completely changed. From being “against” online or homeschooling to now insisting that we don’t participate in any group gatherings, and having Zoom calls and meetings.

Our household dynamic has changed in many different ways. We’ve become very focussed on what “important” relationships are, and what important quality time is and who you choose to share energy with. That as well as the way we approach any situation. Being confined to your home meant that you are forced to spend many more hours with those at home. It requires patience, understanding and compassion. It requires most of all patience. And some patience. And then some more patience!

More than anything that this has taught us, was how to look at a challenge with fresh eyes. As with everything; there is always a solution. And taking a step back, you either make that call to pursue or leave it, or to approach it differently. And should you “leave” it, what will fill that gap? What new opportunities are there? What must you do or start or create, to fill that space? The human’s abilities are endless, and our minds are something fascinating. And your conscious decisions will ultimately grow your subconscious beliefs. Knowing that you can pretty much do anything that you want to do, is a great foundation to go after either your passions or a gap in the market that you never thought of filling.

Our reality and our normality have changed. It won’t and cannot ever go back to pre-2020. There’s an ever-increasing energy of folks going through awakenings. There’s a massive change coming. You know it. You can feel it. Whether you believe in White Hatters, in PizzaGate, in UFO’s or any of that – or not…

In the interim, make sure that you look after yourself. Your health, and those closest to you. Make sure that you appreciate what you have, however, change what does not serve you. If it does add value – leave it. And more than anything, create an understanding and an environment of compassion. And vibrate at a level of love as much as possible, so that we as a collective can heal the world.

What a time to be alive!

And so I took that leap. A few months ago, I was rather stubborn about the idea of using anything other than my own website, considering I’ve worked so hard to build my brand. I had discussions and debates with Peter (my friend and photographer) and Tyler about the connotation each of the adult platforms had. The suggestion was that I should give it a shot; however to me it meant giving up on my own brand and succumbing to the label of “adult entertainer” or the sex industry.

Now don’t get me wrong… there is – in my view – absolutely NOTHING wrong with the adult industry, sex industry or whatever its is called in your household. I just have my own class, standard and expectations. Covid happened.

Lock down happened, and I ended up learning more on photography and shooting Tyler (photos) for his Patreon and OnlyFans. It amazed me how easy these platforms are. Fast forward a few months and Ty and I found ourselves being asked by various followers to do more “couple shoots”. Unfortunately majority of our work was removed by the FB corporation on their various platforms as our work seemed to be in direct violation of their “sexual acts and nudity” rules and guidelines.

Ty suggested OnlyFans, and our couples page was born. It is such a hit! And easy to use. No discrimination from the creators. And no idiotic followers harassing or complaining or reporting. It’s a friggen breeze! To top it all off? We can freely engage with our members.

I ran the idea past Peter to move all my nude, sensual and erotic work over to OF, and of course Peter was game – also laughed at me since I was so adverse to using it a few month back. I have started moving my members over from this site to the OF site and have rapidly gained a new following. I LOVE IT! You are in complete control, you engage and can offer extras to make extra cash if you chose to or wanted to. I have since found another site that I’m enjoying. Very similar to FB, with no control nor ads and censorship. MeWe is amazing too!

2020 was turbulant year. A trying year however definitely an incredibly innovative year. People were “forced” to think outside the box, too create new methods and ways to create business and of course to c change their thinking. I have also come to realise that I absolutely LOVE being an example of a woman that can be nude, be sensual, be erotic, celebrate all that and still be a mother, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a partner, a girlfriend…. a HUMAN. All my work is of the highest quality. All meh work carries me, my personality, and my lust to showcase the beauty of the human.

Thank you all for your support as always.

Please find my links below to follow me – especially incased FB/IG tries getting rid of me ❤️

Join my Vimeo account too as I’ll be launching my show soon. More details to follow soon.

Yay for new ventures!

Yay for new ventures!

Prior to starting this webpage, I received a DM on Instagram from a follower asking why I was not on OnlyFans. I have no clue what they were talking about and upon looking into OF, the first page I landed on was a sexually explicit page of a well-known pornographer. So; of course, my immediate thoughts were – this is not what I do therefore I do not want to give that impression to anyone. Later, every time someone asked for my OF I would refer them to my website. And why not? I have my own membership platforms.

During the Covid pandemic and lockdown, Tyler decided to open a Patreon account and had way too many challenges and hurdles with that platform. They would make it difficult to pay out; they’d it difficult to post; it was technically frustrating. He then considered OF after talking to a few of our fellow models and friends within the adult industry. To me the connotation to the sex industry was still a concern, however Ty was able to create a model page where he could showcase his nude art without being targeted or penalised and without the challenges he faced with Patreon.

Since all the above; my main Instagram account was removed by Facebook twice with no reason or explanation. My back up account is currently missing and another backup account was permanently deleted. No reason. No explanation. I’ve since then emailed Facebook, as well as approached various companies who are fighting the legal battle against Facebook/Instagram for unfairly removing accounts.

Instagram is one of the main social media platforms that bring in revenue for me; so needless to say losing a following of 21k+ and 9k+ is devastating on my bank account – not to mention we are in the middle of an economical crisis as is! This forced me to look elsewhere and to continue with my studies. A blessing in disguise I know!

I have become friends with many folks worldwide through social media and I have come to realise easy and functional Only Fans can be. Many of these individuals are in the adult industry, many of them are not. What is favourable about this platform is that there are very few restrictions. After stumbling upon my main account again (I didn’t know that it was enabled again); I posted an image of Tyler and I in the shower. It is a stunning black and white professional image and “implied”. Meaning that though we seem naked all “bits” are hidden and covered. This was removed as “sexually explicit” and that was yet again the beginning of my account being harassed by something or someone that removes posts without any reason. One story post was of an incredibly beautiful tattoo on a man’s back – removed for violating Instagram’s rules and guidelines. I digress!

This is probably the most frustrating process. Loosing your account multiple times, building up engagement and visibility and restarting the momentum of business traffic. So after the last few posts were removed of Tyler and I, Tyler suggested OnlyFans. And for the first time, I was not only open to the idea but also excited. These shots are such a waste we feel, as we cannot share it on Facebook or Instagram. Allot of these shots or intimate, sexy and passionate. So why not share it on a very affordable platform. So many of you guys ask about us, and ask about our modelling. Whether there is jealousy, how we work together or work apart. How we work!

So here is guys! Should you be one of the curious followers; check out our beautiful, sexy, lustful work on OnlyFans (link below). Note that I will not stop with my webpage and brand name and in. fact, have decided to make a few changes to simplify it slightly. I will still post my erotic and sensual high-quality work on artbyam. com; however all the professional couple’s work, as well as our selfies, nudes and videos, will be posted on The Amoureux

Yay for new ventures!

Erotic or Pornographic?

I was debilitating whether or not I should post this image. It’s a very risqué shot, and super sensual.
You may zoom in as much as you need to as what appears to be flashing is in fact the crease my thumbnail makes… or is it…?
And you cannot see the thing I’m wearing…or am I wearing one?
This would be considered an “erotic photograph”.
Erotic photography is something that is visually sexually suggestive or sexually provocative in nature.
There’s always a debate whether “Erotic” Photography is in actual fact the same as “Pornographic” photography…

Erotic photography is often distinguished from nude photography, which contains nude subjects not necessarily in an erotic situation, and pornographic photography, which is of a sexually-explicit nature.

Pornographic photography is generally defined as “obscene” and lacking in artistic/aesthetic value. However, the line between art and pornography has been both socially and legally debated, and many photographers have created work that intentionally ignores these distinctions.

Though erotic often relates to, exciting, or expressing sexual attraction or desire; pornography would be the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.

For many people, any attempt to define the word pornography calls to mind the often-quoted line from Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart in 1964: “. . . I know it when I see it.” While compilers of dictionaries might wish to be granted such latitude in explaining the meaning of certain words, they are held to a higher standard. Pornography, which has been used in English since the middle of the 19th century, comes from the Greek pornographos  (“writing about prostitutes”), and initially referred to visual or written matter designed to cause sexual arousal, a meaning that is still the most common one employed today. Pornography has taken on an additional, non-sexualized, sense: one that refers to a depiction of sensational material (such as violence) in order to elicit a reaction. The phrase “pornography of violence,” for example, began to be used in the early 1950s.

Eroticism is a highly misunderstood genre. But like some of the greatest figures and thinkers in Western history — those that are typically misunderstood by the masses, are misunderstood for a reason: because they resonate at an uncommon frequency and, in the end, they are tremendously complex in content and pungent in texture, color, and composition. It can be explicit, but typically eroticism does not have the sole intent of sex, or exploring otherwise, an act of sex — topically. In literature, to simply describe an act of sex is more or less pornographic. But, articulating why that act of sex is powerful and why one should be reverent about that act — that is erotica.

Using a simpler example; it is like comparing Burlesque Dancing to a contemporary form of striptease. A burlesque dancer is gentle, and ultimately the whole experience is about the slow reveal. The smile, and the build-up of the tease. There is a sense of something tender and glamourous. Whereas with stripping; it is a much faster pace dance that focusses on arousal as soon as possible.

With my personal work, it aimed for you the viewer to enjoy it as a sensual and erotic experience. Something in which it may evoke your senses, and your imagination. Furthermore hopefully an inspiration or encouragement of creativity in your own personal life. I regularly update my galleries, and have several sets of my more risqué work amongst my nude work. Personally I endeavour to focus on sensuality and the nude woman form – may I successfully deliver as such.

**Sources: Merriam Webster; Wikipedia;

Yay for new ventures!

What is a “real woman”

Every Women’s Month we are reminded – more than usual – how we as women need to stand up and rise. How us as women should go for our goals and dreams. How we should all stand up for one another and empower each other. We are reminded of the current femicide; the gender inequality that we face and the sexual violence and attacks on us women and on children. It’s amazing to see how more and more women do indeed embrace themselves and start standing up for one another. From a personal point of view I’ve always felt that we can all win. There is no “competition”.

Over the last little while I have however noticed how easy it is for women to throw around the “men-are-trash” terms and love to jump onto that bandwagon when it suits them; however some of the same women would post: “A real women would never…” or the whole body-shaming and slut-shaming thing. One can only deduct that this type of opinions would certainly be of those how have not felt adequate enough or perhaps even insecure themselves. I’d really love to know how any of these ladies actually stand up for other women and cheer for them – regardless if it’s something they would personally do or not do.

I find it ironic how many of these ladies demand respect and recognition for being a Queen. For being empowered and independent; yet have no problem pointing out the unruliness of another empowered woman. When another woman’s courage becomes a “vanity” problem; or someone’s self-confidence is suddenly highlighted as “no self-respect”. Earlier this evening I read on a lady’s post that “real women do not need the validation from other people, therefore, they do not seek attention by wearing little clothing”. Is that not just loaded with “I wish I could be brave enough to dress whichever way I want to and not care what others think whilst winning”?

This leads me to the two questions: 1. Since when has the amount of clothing made you more or less successful invalidating your own feelings or your self worth? 2. How does the amount of clothing you wear or the amount of skin make you less or more valuable as an individual? How does said woman praise and shout for women empowerment yet at the same time shoot any lady down that shows a little more skin than she would dare? This also sounds like the very same woman that may just say that the amount of clothing you wear would be equal to the amount of respect you earn/deserve.

Recently I have discussed the numbers of women who are raped in South Africa per annum (note that due to the number of cases that are not reported; it is not possible to give a correct number of possible rapes per hour/day/month/year) and consequently to that the number of gender-based violence.

Population-based surveys show very high levels of intimate partner violence (IPV) and non-partner sexual violence (SV) in particular, with IPV being the most common form of violence against women.

  • Whilst people of all genders perpetrate and experience intimate partner and or sexual violence, men are most often the perpetrators and women and children the victims
  • More than half of all the women murdered (56%) in 2009 were killed by an intimate male partner
  • Between 25% and 40% of South African women have experienced sexual and/or physical IPV (intimate partner violence) in their lifetime
  • Just under 50% of women report having ever experienced emotional or economic abuse at the hands of their intimate partners in their lifetime
  • Prevalence estimates of rape in South Africa range between 12% and 28% of women ever reporting being raped in their lifetime
  • Between 28 and 37% of adult men report having raped a woman
  • Non-partner SV is particularly common, but reporting to the police is very low. One study found that one in 13 women in Gauteng had reported non-partner rape, and only one in 25  rapes had been reported to the police
  • South Africa also faces a high prevalence of gang rape
  • Most men who rape do so for the first time as teenagers and almost all men who ever rape do so by their mid-20s
  • There is limited research into rape targeting women who have sex with women. One study across four Southern African countries, including South Africa, found that 31.1% of women reported having experienced forced sex
  • Male victims of rape are another under-studied group. One survey in KwaZulu-Natal and the Eastern Cape found that 9.6% of men reported having experienced sexual victimisation by another man

What the stats above do not show are the number of women who are verbally or psychologically abused by other women. How people are targeted, bullied and called out on social media for the way they live their life or for what they choose to post about themselves on social media. How women would rather band together and stand up with other men; slut-shaming women who post selfies and/or “sexy” images on social media, than standing up for those women. It’s easy to say “men-are-trash” when a guy makes a funny by posting a “women belong in the kitchen” joke, yet it is okay to agree with the same guy calling out another woman who has found self-confidence and enjoys posting about herself/her outfit/her weight gain or loss/her sock and shoes/the food she eats/the competition she took part in etc etc. One of the latest repetitive posts I see is “I’m so tired of all these selfies with quotes and all you see is bum and boobs” or “show me a real woman who does not feel like she needs validation or attention from the whole world by showing off her body”. What does that even mean? What makes a woman a “real” woman?

I feel our country specifically is facing a tough time. Apart from the global economical damage that we are facing, the all-time high unemployment rate that is continually rising and our own government’s crimes and corruption; we are facing a particular tricky era where we as women are rising. Standing up against the oppression of what our fore-mothers faced. We are in an incredible era where we as women have more of a voice than ever before. Yet here you are, spitting on another queen who’s rising in her own time on her own terms in her own way. Standing with all the aggression against other women. What kind of empowerment are you after? Why demand equality, justice and empowerment when you stand up and laugh other women down. Calling them out for believing in themselves? Knocking them down for owning who they are? What is a “real woman”? One who can clap for another woman, without judgement, without malice and without misogyny.