Yay for new ventures!

Yay for new ventures!

Prior to starting this webpage, I received a DM on Instagram from a follower asking why I was not on OnlyFans. I have no clue what they were talking about and upon looking into OF, the first page I landed on was a sexually explicit page of a well-known pornographer. So; of course, my immediate thoughts were – this is not what I do therefore I do not want to give that impression to anyone. Later, every time someone asked for my OF I would refer them to my website. And why not? I have my own membership platforms.

During the Covid pandemic and lockdown, Tyler decided to open a Patreon account and had way too many challenges and hurdles with that platform. They would make it difficult to pay out; they’d it difficult to post; it was technically frustrating. He then considered OF after talking to a few of our fellow models and friends within the adult industry. To me the connotation to the sex industry was still a concern, however Ty was able to create a model page where he could showcase his nude art without being targeted or penalised and without the challenges he faced with Patreon.

Since all the above; my main Instagram account was removed by Facebook twice with no reason or explanation. My back up account is currently missing and another backup account was permanently deleted. No reason. No explanation. I’ve since then emailed Facebook, as well as approached various companies who are fighting the legal battle against Facebook/Instagram for unfairly removing accounts.

Instagram is one of the main social media platforms that bring in revenue for me; so needless to say losing a following of 21k+ and 9k+ is devastating on my bank account – not to mention we are in the middle of an economical crisis as is! This forced me to look elsewhere and to continue with my studies. A blessing in disguise I know!

I have become friends with many folks worldwide through social media and I have come to realise easy and functional Only Fans can be. Many of these individuals are in the adult industry, many of them are not. What is favourable about this platform is that there are very few restrictions. After stumbling upon my main account again (I didn’t know that it was enabled again); I posted an image of Tyler and I in the shower. It is a stunning black and white professional image and “implied”. Meaning that though we seem naked all “bits” are hidden and covered. This was removed as “sexually explicit” and that was yet again the beginning of my account being harassed by something or someone that removes posts without any reason. One story post was of an incredibly beautiful tattoo on a man’s back – removed for violating Instagram’s rules and guidelines. I digress!

This is probably the most frustrating process. Loosing your account multiple times, building up engagement and visibility and restarting the momentum of business traffic. So after the last few posts were removed of Tyler and I, Tyler suggested OnlyFans. And for the first time, I was not only open to the idea but also excited. These shots are such a waste we feel, as we cannot share it on Facebook or Instagram. Allot of these shots or intimate, sexy and passionate. So why not share it on a very affordable platform. So many of you guys ask about us, and ask about our modelling. Whether there is jealousy, how we work together or work apart. How we work!

So here is guys! Should you be one of the curious followers; check out our beautiful, sexy, lustful work on OnlyFans (link below). Note that I will not stop with my webpage and brand name and in. fact, have decided to make a few changes to simplify it slightly. I will still post my erotic and sensual high-quality work on artbyam. com; however all the professional couple’s work, as well as our selfies, nudes and videos, will be posted on The Amoureux

Erotic or Pornographic?

Erotic or Pornographic?

I was debilitating whether or not I should post this image. It’s a very risqué shot, and super sensual.
You may zoom in as much as you need to as what appears to be flashing is in fact the crease my thumbnail makes… or is it…?
And you cannot see the thing I’m wearing…or am I wearing one?
This would be considered an “erotic photograph”.
Erotic photography is something that is visually sexually suggestive or sexually provocative in nature.
There’s always a debate whether “Erotic” Photography is in actual fact the same as “Pornographic” photography…

Erotic photography is often distinguished from nude photography, which contains nude subjects not necessarily in an erotic situation, and pornographic photography, which is of a sexually-explicit nature.

Pornographic photography is generally defined as “obscene” and lacking in artistic/aesthetic value. However, the line between art and pornography has been both socially and legally debated, and many photographers have created work that intentionally ignores these distinctions.

Though erotic often relates to, exciting, or expressing sexual attraction or desire; pornography would be the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.

For many people, any attempt to define the word pornography calls to mind the often-quoted line from Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart in 1964: “. . . I know it when I see it.” While compilers of dictionaries might wish to be granted such latitude in explaining the meaning of certain words, they are held to a higher standard. Pornography, which has been used in English since the middle of the 19th century, comes from the Greek pornographos  (“writing about prostitutes”), and initially referred to visual or written matter designed to cause sexual arousal, a meaning that is still the most common one employed today. Pornography has taken on an additional, non-sexualized, sense: one that refers to a depiction of sensational material (such as violence) in order to elicit a reaction. The phrase “pornography of violence,” for example, began to be used in the early 1950s.

Eroticism is a highly misunderstood genre. But like some of the greatest figures and thinkers in Western history — those that are typically misunderstood by the masses, are misunderstood for a reason: because they resonate at an uncommon frequency and, in the end, they are tremendously complex in content and pungent in texture, color, and composition. It can be explicit, but typically eroticism does not have the sole intent of sex, or exploring otherwise, an act of sex — topically. In literature, to simply describe an act of sex is more or less pornographic. But, articulating why that act of sex is powerful and why one should be reverent about that act — that is erotica.

Using a simpler example; it is like comparing Burlesque Dancing to a contemporary form of striptease. A burlesque dancer is gentle, and ultimately the whole experience is about the slow reveal. The smile, and the build-up of the tease. There is a sense of something tender and glamourous. Whereas with stripping; it is a much faster pace dance that focusses on arousal as soon as possible.

With my personal work, it aimed for you the viewer to enjoy it as a sensual and erotic experience. Something in which it may evoke your senses, and your imagination. Furthermore hopefully an inspiration or encouragement of creativity in your own personal life. I regularly update my galleries, and have several sets of my more risqué work amongst my nude work. Personally I endeavour to focus on sensuality and the nude woman form – may I successfully deliver as such.

**Sources: Merriam Webster; Wikipedia; medium.com

What is a “real woman”

What is a “real woman”

Every Women’s Month we are reminded – more than usual – how we as women need to stand up and rise. How us as women should go for our goals and dreams. How we should all stand up for one another and empower each other. We are reminded of the current femicide; the gender inequality that we face and the sexual violence and attacks on us women and on children. It’s amazing to see how more and more women do indeed embrace themselves and start standing up for one another. From a personal point of view I’ve always felt that we can all win. There is no “competition”.

Over the last little while I have however noticed how easy it is for women to throw around the “men-are-trash” terms and love to jump onto that bandwagon when it suits them; however some of the same women would post: “A real women would never…” or the whole body-shaming and slut-shaming thing. One can only deduct that this type of opinions would certainly be of those how have not felt adequate enough or perhaps even insecure themselves. I’d really love to know how any of these ladies actually stand up for other women and cheer for them – regardless if it’s something they would personally do or not do.

I find it ironic how many of these ladies demand respect and recognition for being a Queen. For being empowered and independent; yet have no problem pointing out the unruliness of another empowered woman. When another woman’s courage becomes a “vanity” problem; or someone’s self-confidence is suddenly highlighted as “no self-respect”. Earlier this evening I read on a lady’s post that “real women do not need the validation from other people, therefore, they do not seek attention by wearing little clothing”. Is that not just loaded with “I wish I could be brave enough to dress whichever way I want to and not care what others think whilst winning”?

This leads me to the two questions: 1. Since when has the amount of clothing made you more or less successful invalidating your own feelings or your self worth? 2. How does the amount of clothing you wear or the amount of skin make you less or more valuable as an individual? How does said woman praise and shout for women empowerment yet at the same time shoot any lady down that shows a little more skin than she would dare? This also sounds like the very same woman that may just say that the amount of clothing you wear would be equal to the amount of respect you earn/deserve.

Recently I have discussed the numbers of women who are raped in South Africa per annum (note that due to the number of cases that are not reported; it is not possible to give a correct number of possible rapes per hour/day/month/year) and consequently to that the number of gender-based violence.

Population-based surveys show very high levels of intimate partner violence (IPV) and non-partner sexual violence (SV) in particular, with IPV being the most common form of violence against women.

  • Whilst people of all genders perpetrate and experience intimate partner and or sexual violence, men are most often the perpetrators and women and children the victims
  • More than half of all the women murdered (56%) in 2009 were killed by an intimate male partner
  • Between 25% and 40% of South African women have experienced sexual and/or physical IPV (intimate partner violence) in their lifetime
  • Just under 50% of women report having ever experienced emotional or economic abuse at the hands of their intimate partners in their lifetime
  • Prevalence estimates of rape in South Africa range between 12% and 28% of women ever reporting being raped in their lifetime
  • Between 28 and 37% of adult men report having raped a woman
  • Non-partner SV is particularly common, but reporting to the police is very low. One study found that one in 13 women in Gauteng had reported non-partner rape, and only one in 25  rapes had been reported to the police
  • South Africa also faces a high prevalence of gang rape
  • Most men who rape do so for the first time as teenagers and almost all men who ever rape do so by their mid-20s
  • There is limited research into rape targeting women who have sex with women. One study across four Southern African countries, including South Africa, found that 31.1% of women reported having experienced forced sex
  • Male victims of rape are another under-studied group. One survey in KwaZulu-Natal and the Eastern Cape found that 9.6% of men reported having experienced sexual victimisation by another man

What the stats above do not show are the number of women who are verbally or psychologically abused by other women. How people are targeted, bullied and called out on social media for the way they live their life or for what they choose to post about themselves on social media. How women would rather band together and stand up with other men; slut-shaming women who post selfies and/or “sexy” images on social media, than standing up for those women. It’s easy to say “men-are-trash” when a guy makes a funny by posting a “women belong in the kitchen” joke, yet it is okay to agree with the same guy calling out another woman who has found self-confidence and enjoys posting about herself/her outfit/her weight gain or loss/her sock and shoes/the food she eats/the competition she took part in etc etc. One of the latest repetitive posts I see is “I’m so tired of all these selfies with quotes and all you see is bum and boobs” or “show me a real woman who does not feel like she needs validation or attention from the whole world by showing off her body”. What does that even mean? What makes a woman a “real” woman?

I feel our country specifically is facing a tough time. Apart from the global economical damage that we are facing, the all-time high unemployment rate that is continually rising and our own government’s crimes and corruption; we are facing a particular tricky era where we as women are rising. Standing up against the oppression of what our fore-mothers faced. We are in an incredible era where we as women have more of a voice than ever before. Yet here you are, spitting on another queen who’s rising in her own time on her own terms in her own way. Standing with all the aggression against other women. What kind of empowerment are you after? Why demand equality, justice and empowerment when you stand up and laugh other women down. Calling them out for believing in themselves? Knocking them down for owning who they are? What is a “real woman”? One who can clap for another woman, without judgement, without malice and without misogyny.

Free the Nipple and stop eating loudly!

Free the Nipple and stop eating loudly!

There is not much more to say. It’s the same old story as always. Why the heck in this day and age are we being penalised for having a body part that we were ALL born with. Why is a nipple so friggen offensive?

I ran a question on my Instagram storyline, asking what the most sensual part of a lady is. Out of all the answers (approximately 270) only TWO people mentioned nipples. Do you know what the most mentioned body part was? Lips and Eyes. ***Insert me waving my hands here*** BOTH of those body parts are – as with nipples – body parts that most of us were born with… **waving hands in extreme gestures yet again** What is it that I do not get? What am I missing here?

I understand that our genitals – created for natural body functions as well as for reproductive functions; is a complete different story. It is something that may change in appearance and in different senses throughout different emotions. A nipple? It becomes erect when you’re cold. Other than that a female human may or may not use it to feed an infant. THAT.IS.IT.

Most of my images and work include my bare chest. For social media purposes, I would censor these yet there are still some MOFO’s who seem to think that my poor nipples are deadly! Shameful! Disrespectful! YIKES! And If they don’t seem to be offended, Facebook and Facebook-owned companies are devastated when another human born with the same biological structure, may just show that fridge body part. I mean let’s face it, my children must be absolutely screwed since they touched and suckled off my puppy noses 8 months each. Never mind SEEING it….nearly every day!

Personally I feel that wearing corduroy suits should not be done in public, nor should people be allowed to eat with their mouth open (or eat loudly, or scrape their plates with a knife and fork) however we live and let live and I don’t friggen report any of them.

And as one would have it with a communists-like run company such as Facebook and Instagram – my accounts are forever reported, and there is no human that could deal with it from the company’s side. Instagram removed my account – now it seems like it may even have been hacked. It’s been a week and you hear nothing. You can spam them all you like; however, it’s a multi-billion-dollar company that couldn’t give a feck who complaints (just look at their support system and inbox – millions of support requests hanging….unanswered for months on end). The latest thing? You are told what you can and cannot say. You are told what you can or cannot post regarding politics, religion and sexual orientation (*cough* sound just like being told to wear a mask *cough*) However, if you are sexually harassed or bullied they ignore the victims attempt to report it. And the culprits happily carries on.

Nothing and no one was hurt in the creation of this image

So I guess I will climb back into my box, censor the crap out of my poor pink jellytots that upsets Facebook world and their followers (I even added jewellery to enhance the scariness), and silently curse those loud eaters and folks who insist on wearing bad shoes.

Hey, if you are not afraid of my chest berries – head on over to my nude gallery….if you dare 😂

OH and if you don’t already. Check out my social media accounts – they are restricted of course however I do share some content 😜

NO to silence

NO to silence

It bothers me…I’m not sure exactly how however it is time to change things. To make a difference. After a sequence of several events over the past few weeks (months….years!), I’m feeling beat. It won’t last long considering the person I am, however, I am there now and I’m acknowledging this and try and remain present. I’ve come to realise that my “job” or life purpose have always been to help others. As it’s many of our life purposes.

Usually, you’d find someone who has been through some traumatic experiences; become either a beacon for others or the other end of the spectrum and face self-destruction. This does not make you weak or strong. Sometimes we are just not ready or just have had enough OR we feel tenacious about living and giving and changing and growing. Sometimes that would happen soon after trauma and other times it would take years and years. Why am I telling you this?

During my personal lifetime I was sexually abused and molested. I was physically and psychologically abused…as a child and as a partner and adult. I am part of the statistics.

DID YOU KNOW: It is estimated that over 40% of South African women will be raped in their lifetime and that only 1 in 9 rapes are reported. It is also estimated that 14% of perpetrators of rape are convicted in South Africa.

Sexual offences is a broad crime category that includes rape, compelled rape, sexual assault, incest, bestiality, statutory rape and the sexual grooming of children. The number of reported sexual offences increased to 52,420 in 2018/19 from 50,108 in 2017/18. Most of these were cases of rape. The sexual offences crime rate increased from 88.3 per 100,000 in 2017/18 to 90.9 in 2018/19.

South Africa’s legal definition of rape is broad. It includes the oral, anal or vaginal penetration of a person (male or female) with a genital organ, anal or vaginal penetration with any object and the penetration of a person’s mouth with the genital organs of an animal. The police recorded 41,583 rapes in 2018/19, up from 40,035 rapes in 2017/18. This means an average of 114 rapes were recorded by the police each day. The rape rate increased from 70.5 in 2017/18 to 72.1 in 2018/19. But the police’s rape statistics should not be viewed as an “accurate measure of either the extent or trend of this crime”.

THERE IS NO RECENT NATIONAL REPRESENTITAVE ESTIMATE HOW MANY WOMEN ARE RAPED IN SOUTH AFRICA EACH YEAR

With ALL of my sexual abuse; I never reported it. I did not reach out to anyone. I was afraid of being judged. Afraid that it was actually my fault. I should never have had alcohol that night, or should never have told him that I liked him. I should never have worn the type of clothes I wore. Maybe he didn’t hear my “no” loud enough. Maybe I didn’t scream “no”, it was, in fact, a thought in my mind. Maybe I was dirty like he told me I was.

My first sexual abuse I don’t remember much as I was three. My second rape was when I was 16 and was bunking school with my best girlfriend and two guys we knew from the boy’s technical school. We got alcohol from another friend and got absolutely wasted. I passed out at some point; the clearly remember screaming as it felt like a hot poker was being pushed up between my legs. The amount of blood was frightening. I had a crush on him… he was smart and kind, and incredibly gorgeous… he raped me. The police arrived and escorted everyone back to school where their parents were being called. I am not sure how or why but I went directly to my house. Where I alternated between bathing and showering. My mum got home and was beyond infuriated with me, however when she saw my knickers the shame that washed over me is still today unexplainable. She insisted that I told her what happened and I lied. I told her it was ‘that time of the month’.

When I was 19 I briefly dated a well-known individual who loved to parade me around in front of his peers, family and friends. He forced himself onto me within the first week of dating and forced me to wash him and his genitals after; as I was “disgusting”. I did not speak of this until years later when it dawned upon me that these events have left me questioning my self-worth.

This past week I have gone to our local police station to report suspicion of sexual abuse of a minor; yet was not only treated like I was the offender; I was told that if the mother did not want to take care of this, or know about it, then I should not get involved. That I should keep my nose out their business. This same week a friend of mine had to report the theft of her intellectual property used and distributed without her say-so or knowledge. She was helped by a female police officer that insisted she shares the private information verbally whilst she was surrounded by men at the station. She insisted that the friend must share the intellectual property by printing it off.

I am fortunate enough to have met incredible people who are able to assist us with and opening cases and investigating these crimes, however how about all the hundreds of thousands young girls and women who do not have the contacts we have??? Nevermind the silent men?? How do you explain to your children that the police station is not really the place to go to (unless you need an affidavit drawn up, stamped and signed). That they are not really the folks that will assist and protect you. Our system is so severely flawed that you look at some of the stats and think “no wonder”. There’s a handful of people out there that are incredibly passionate about what they do and will go out on a limb to assist; however, to get to those people seems to be the challenge.

It’s time for a change, and amidst all that is going on; there are women and children currently at home who have NO-ONE to talk to, turn to or get help from. Though I can assist only so much; I have decided that I want to be that beacon of hope. That one person that will not only not judge; but also help where ever and whenever. Being in the position that I am; become a spokesperson for those who do not have voices, and guide and teach as many women (and men) as possible about your rights, your safety and your plan for healing and/or escaping.

Should you know someone or of someone that needs help please contact me. Let us stop the silence and combat sexual abuse.