A few years back, when I began my journey within the modelling industry, family and friends made insinuation to the fact that I’m “doing porn”. It was then quite a shock to me and of course I was amused but also hurt that they didn’t see what I was doing, was another form expression, art or modelling.
I have since then begun to realise that there are rather a few people that may not know the difference between all the genres. This has never been more clear than when I look at some of the comments and messages that we as models receive on social media. Of course, I am very vocal about that topic too 😂
Recently I ran a poll on Instagram asking whether people knew the difference between Implied Nude, Nude, Glamour, Boudoir, Erotic and pornography? The results shocked me a little, as 56% claimed that they know the difference. Here’s the thing though… after contacting a select few who said that knew the difference, it was very clear that they didn’t. I asked a couple simple questions and the answers were all very confusing.
Implied Nude vs Nude
Implied nude photos suggests nudity however Implied Nude you are unable to see breasts, genitals or buttocks. Many photographers would also argue that “Implied Nude” is a pose in which the model poses in such a fashion that it allows the viewer to guess whether the model has clothes on or not. Therefore “implying” it may be nude. Where as with Nude modelling you are blatantly naked. This form of photography is especially popular for fine art, bodyscaping and contemporary photography. The idea with nude modelling is expression and setting. The objective is NOT sexual, rather the beauty of the setting and pose.
Glamour vs Boudoir
Think Hustler, Playboy and the page 3 models…That would be summed up as glamour photography. When you’re taking an image and want to seduce the viewer, without sexual movements, gestures or acts. Glamour would mostly be accepted as the model “charming” the viewer. Boudoir on the other hand has more of a focus on lingerie and usually in the bedroom as a setting and a private affair. Boudoir is also a very popular gift idea for couples for one another. It’s sensual and romantic, and usually intended for the private enjoyment of his or her partner. The difference would therefor be that boudoir would usually be for the couple at home whereas glamour would be a posed model.
Erotic vs Pornography
This is where a lot of people also get confused. Both have artistic elements to it and both are sexually intended. Erotic, erotic art and erotic fine art is sexually suggestive or sexually provocative. This would usually be shot with or without clothing and could have props. Some examples may include fruit or plants or an object in front/ontop/inside genitals or the body, it could also perhaps be suggestive of sex or sexual pleasure WITHOUT the actual deed. Whereas pornography is a staged set up scene where one or more person is pleasuring themselves/one another with the intent to arouse the viewer. Pornography photography is sexually explicit; there is no subtlety to the image – they are plain, unshadowed and naively detailed.
Side Note on Pornography
For a long while – and especially in South Africa where we live in such conservative circumstances – people seem to associate nudity with SEX, PORNOGRAPHY and DISRESPECT. We are brought up believing that our nakedness is shameful, it is tasteless and oh so sinful!! *GASP* However I firmly believe this is where we are going wrong! Think about it. It is human nature to wonder about what we are not “allowed to have or allowed to do”. It is also human nature to have sex. To procreate. Now tell a human who’s DNA is designed to have sex, that it is filthy and dirty and anything suggesting it may be sin, evil and horrible! This is just a recipe for deceit, for secrecy and for unhealthy obsessions. For centuries women and men have had different mating methods or rather how to attract one another for that very (natural and normal) reason.
During 1839, French artist Louis Daguerre’s invention of the photograph, known as the daguerreotype, which transformed the availability and realism of sexual imagery. Thereafter this industry became one of the biggest and fastest-growing. Each human adolescent start asking questions about sex and inevitably look for and sneak some kind of pornography to see more and find out more. This rush of having to do this secretly doesn’t really go away for most. In fact it feeds the creative mind and our fantasies. And what better way then to quench this with some saucy ideas that you and your partner may never consider talking about let alone try; via some pornography? I mean it can’t be sin if it is not you doing it? It can’t be wrong if you just happen to “see it”. Just don’t openly admit to it and pull a face of disgust in front of your family when you do see it ;). And when you see a pretty girl in a pair of lacy knickers looking oh so sultry back at you, and it evokes some kind of stirring – shout out PORN!
Because let’s face it, if we were all comfortable with our sexuality, and with our bodies, and didn’t feel the need to ask our creator for forgiveness when we appreciate another human’s expression, beauty and abilities – we would all value the art of human photography. Let it be known though; as Dita Von Teese says: you could be the juiciest, ripest, sweetest peach in the world and there would be someone who doesn’t like peaches; just the same with any art and photography. Modesty empowers some as nudity empowers others.
Boudoir Fusion Photographyhave extensive experience within most of these genres of photography. They have helped many couples capture special intimate moments as well as assisted companies with branding, marketing and editorial pieces for published magazines.
We are all guilty of hypocrisy. It certainly isn’t intended, yet we all do this.
I have yet again had a rant on social media regarding some
of my posts being deleted from my pages. Taking it rather personally sometimes;
I can’t understand why people would report my images. It’s art after all! If
people do not like it; then they should scroll past or unfollow me!
This morning I read a post that made me stop and rethink
this thought process. If you know me; you’d know I’m all about love and
kindness. About tolerance and acceptance. Yet here I am throwing a wobbly like
a three year old, because I am not having my way. Because people are unfair!
I was brought up by my mamma to accept that everyone will
never think the same way, believe in the same things, and feel the same.
Example being that different religions; one believes modesty as part of their religious
culture and that it would be a sin to bare any skin or hair. The other believes
it would be wrong to eat certain kind of foods. Does it make either religion
wrong or right? No. There is no wrong or right. Similarly when you have someone
who believes a high protein or Keto diet is the way to go, and someone else
believes that you should really only have a plant based diet. Neither is wrong;
you do what is best for you and what is good for your reality.
So this post I read that was posted by a close friend;
states that nudity will always offend someone. Will always be “too this or too
that”. There’s no point in fighting this as we are all human and all very
different. And it dawned on me that I am an advocate for equality. For
supporting one another no matter what your thought processes are – yet here I am
getting angry for people not seeing or believing what I am, believe or stand
Surely it’s disrespectful to dismiss other people’s point of
views, opinions and beliefs? Yes it certainly is unjust for those to then
preach what is wrong with what you do and condemn you for it; however we live
in a society – all be it unfair mostly – where we have freedom of speech and
beliefs. Therefore surely we should be more considerate of one another’s lives
and how they choose to live it; or how we choose to express ourselves. Though I’d
implore each person to look past the superficial and perhaps to dig a little deeper as to what others do and how
they live prior to condemning them; I’d certainly also suggest to move along
should it not be your kind of “thing”. You know? Like when you get an invitation
to the movies, but you much rather sit at home? Or you’re vegan and invited to
a Buckhurst festival? You would politely decline and get on with life!
Based on the above I’ve decided to acknowledge that though I
am on a mission to not only empower other women – to feel proud of being
themselves and in their own skin, but also not to care what other’s think; I
will respect the fact that not everyone agrees on nudity. I may not understand
why. I may not necessarily agree on their thought processes; I will however
respect their opinions and move on. Rather than having a tantrum as to why
people don’t see life through my eyes.
I will continue with my work. Doing what I do; I hope to perhaps have some see something beautiful in what I do. Some to change their perception on the nude human form. And if I don’t; that is also okay.
I am often asked about my tattoos and it’s certainly a great conversation starter.
You may notice that I have a few and, they are all rather random. What I love about it; is that each of them has some meaning behind it, and whilst not everyone gets it; I feel that I’m a walking piece of art with a pinch of my biography.
The very first (Mistake)
My very first tattoo was a home job; done by a high school friend. In fact, he bought a tattoo gun but wasn’t quite sure how to use it. I actually repel to think what we did. We used the needle from the gun and manually poked my ankle whist dripping ink into the wound. Mine was a cross.
A badly done cross.
This sat on my ankle for 2 years. My mum wanted to kill me!! Thank goodness my mum was only thinking that, as my friend’s mum took sandpaper and bleach to hers. She didn’t come to school for a few days after that, as her ankle was badly infected.
The second which is still the first
I then became close friends with Pieter who had his first
tattoo shop across the way from my house.
Pieter “fixed” my mishap of a cross and covered it with a blonde angel. This was for my 17th birthday – and he designed/created it.
An angel with a snake wrapped around her and my star sign (Aquarius) above her head. I still have this piece on my ankle. This represented me (I was blonde at the time), and life experiences having a hold on me (the snake).
Tramp Stamp Generation
A year later I fell in love with the idea of a ….dum dum duuuuuum TRAMP STAMP! Not any tramp stamp…. A TRIBAL stamp – which I designed myself. It was pretty and fluffy and feminine. And Pieter did it for me too.
I then decided I had enough tattoos… That was short lived though as whilst living in the UK, I wanted more I realised. This took a backseat since I had to “adult” first and raise two babies.
By the time I moved back to South Africa, I had decided I wanted a side or back piece (Only about 10cm big) of a phoenix. I have faced many adversities and managed to get over many stubbling blocks in my life time.
Associated with the Sun, a phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor. According to some sources, the phoenix dies in a show of flames and combustion, although there are other sources that claim that the legendary bird dies and simply decomposes before being born again
I went off to a recommended tattoo artist who
told me that the bird I wanted was never going to look the way I wanted it to
look, at the small size I wanted. So they set out drawing what they said would
be the right size…. My entire back.
This was beautiful, and powerful and gorgeous. And I wanted it so badly, I told them to go ahead.
5 hours later; my body went into shock. The outline was done, but because I was so very skinny at the time as well as 5 hours is a long sitting – we called it a day. After that day I had another 4 sittings with this tattoo artist. A couple years later I went to a female artist who coloured my bird; added beautiful tail feathers and extended the wings.
Shortly after that I had my first thigh piece done. A crystal heart that represent my household, surrounded by my husband and children’s birth flowers.
But the bug has bitten. A couple years ago I
went AWHE Tattoo’s and had my thigh piece added to. I am obsessed with geometry
and ancient geometrical shapes – and the meaning of it.
I’ve added two triangles that are meant to be
prisms with a rose inside of each.
One is facing up and the other downwards. Triangles represent the past, present and future as well as body mind and soul. Pointing up triangle means strong foundation or stability; pointing downwards would signify ascend from above/heaven. Upwards triangle also indicates male as downwards indicates female. This all tied together with a plant motive (although the triangles aren’t together they grow together)
My next piece is my Medusa.
In Greek mythology, Medusa was a monster, a Gorgon, generally
described as a winged human female with living venomous snakes in place of
hair. Those who gazed upon her face would turn to stone.
Though Tony and I stumbled across the idea, it has deeper meaning to me. And without divulging too much into that; it does represent a stage in my life where I have questioned male intentions.
Along came the skull. This piece is probably the only piece that doesn’t have a personal attachment for me. It’s F*#king amazing right?? At the end when we all pass away we return to bones then to dust. My pretty skull lady has my favourite flower (Orchids) on top her head and a mandala behind her and you can see glimpse of it through her eyes.
Flower of Life etc.
My next piece was my butterfly with the Flower of life and Metatron Cube. I am very spiritual and upon my journey to figure out what my purpose is; I have learnt that I am a 22 (in numerology this is a powerful number) and that I’ m a powerful healer. Metatron’s Cube starts with the Fruit of Life shape, and connects all 13 circles with straight lines. It’s named after Archangel Metatron, who watches over the flow of energy in creation and provides a connection to the divine.
My piece on my arm (which will likely grow into a sleeve) is
from my very favourite artist Chiara Bautista. Her art is a mixture of love
stories. To me I see the universe in all of them.
My latest tattoo is a vine-like plant on the right side of my body. This has so much potential to add to should I wish. I love plants and I’m rather surprised that I don’t have more on my body. Plants remind me of growth, Mother Nature, natural healing and most of all renewed love and beauty. Like second chances.
My next tattoo will be done on April Fool’s day. Though Tony
and I have a couple things we are adding to my art work; I still keep thinking
of new ideas.
I want people to want to take a closer look. Not think that it’s just another body covered in tattoos. Tony’s talent is beyond amazing!! I am blessed that he is my artist and has become such a dear friend. All of the AWHE team are incredible.
Have you ever wondered what goes on in my DM’s? Of
course, you have! Or you could only imagine or assume right?
Doing what I’m doing one would naturally assume that you
attract all kinds of attention. Personally, it doesn’t bother me. From my
understanding; it is human nature to get excited, intrigued, even mesmerised by
something that is considered taboo in our day to day lives. To follow someone
that so flamboyantly comfortable to expose so much skin; to become so
comfortably sensual in the public eye, is certainly not “normal” in society.
Here are a few of the DM’s that I have received – and saved. I will be keeping it anonymous. Should you see one of your DM’s here; please don’t take offense.
Please also note that there are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. Not mine. Theirs
Follower: You are a stunner, and you are a flirt too
Me: Thank you for the compliment
Follower: Why do you flirt when you are married?
Me: No, I think you confuse the two. When someone is
friendly and when someone is flirting
Follower: The Question being, why are you so flirty?
Me: I’m really happy to have met you. And thank you for
the lovely compliments. I am happily married and would never dream of screwing
up my relationship of 18 years. I have always been the way I am.
Some people get it, some don’t. You don’t need to get it.
Follower: You are avoiding the question of being flirty….a
simple yes or no
Follower: Cool, nice meeting you
Me: have a great day 😊
Mr Big Bucks
Follower: How are you?
Follower: I will give you R5000 to talk to me
Follower: I’ll take that as a no…Bye now….Don’t have time
for people who waste my time
Follower: Hi Alli
Follower: Hi, I love your photos
Me: Thank you so much, and thank you for your support
Follower: Sweet so send a sexy selfie
Follower: It’s a pleasure but send sume sexy selfie of
you self (exactly how that was typed)
Me: You are welcome to look at any of my images on my
Follower: But u my send me sume plz hun
Follower: What r u up to now
Me: I think you have the wrong impression of me. I’m at
home with my husband and children 😊
Follower: No I don’t. Send me a selfie of u now plz
(Here I sent him three images of a hairy elderly
Me: What is wrong?
Follower: Do you have a nice bush hiding inside your
Me: Do you speak to your mum like that?
Follower: You are not my mum
Me: Thank heavens for that!! I’d be mortified if I was!
Follower: So do you have a nice bush in hiding?
Me: What is your name and where do you live?
Follower: How about a full body pic?
Me: What is your name and where do you live?
Follower: Tom Oliver Florida
Me: Oh fabulous Tom. Shall I tag your real name when I
*this contact does not exist*
Follower: Sexy girl
Follower: You are so hot
Follower: I want to F**k you
Taking a chance?
Follower: Do you still do shoots?
Me: Good morning XXXX, yes I do 😊
Follower: Are you on whatsapp please
Follower: Alli still waiting to pay you please
Me: Pay me for?
Follower: A shoot we want you in please
Me: I will send my rates shortly. Who is “we”?
Follower: XXXX from world mag. Are you on whatsapp
Me: Insert his profile image which is blank.
Me: Aaaaaaah I thought I recognised you!!!
Follower: Me. What have I done?
Me: Apologies but I do not give my number out.
Me: Nothing at all. You don’t have a profile picture
Me: Insert my rates and Z card
Follower: But we still need your number for our system i
keep to myself
Follower: We have better rates
Me: That’s amazing. Please feel free to email my agent
Follower: Why not chat direct to u
Me: Insert agent email address
Follower: Pay u 9k bikini 15k topless and 25k nude
Me: No worries. Sounds great
Follower: It is for world mag a uk company
Me: Please send your company details including company
registration, address and telephone number to Insert agent email address
Follower: Again still need u number u can delete again
Me: Inclusive of all the details
Me: You may email the details to my agent so that we can
ensure this is legit
Me: This is unfortunately my terms.
I then research the name of the magazine and
google comes up with “WORLD magazine – Today’s Christian Views and Christain
News”. I take screen shot and post it to him
Follower: Our sister company
Follower: I know you are married
Me: Your sister company is a Christian magazine? And you
need me to pose nude?
I’m sorry, I have NEVER done business over “whatsapp”. I
have never accepted 25K offer over messenger.
You do not have a profile photo.
You have no photos
You tell me you work for a Christian magazine’s sister
company but you want me to do nude shoots.
Please supply me with your office number so that I can
speak to you and verify your existence.
Follower: I will
Me: Of course you will 😊 Have a great day scammer
Follower: *insert Eggplant and splash emoji’s*
Follower: Good morning wow
Follower: Hey there
Follower: Do you know what a c*m shot is?
Me: do you know what respect is?
Let’s just try (1)
Follower: Hi, what else could u do besides nude shoots?
Me: I am a full time model 😊
Follower: So if I pay you for escort services?
Me: Then I’d would suggest you look for an escort agency
Follower: If I were to ask you out on a date?
Me: Then I’d say noJ
Follower: Thanks for the morning glory
Follower: U made my day
Follower: *insert heart emoji*
Follower: R you realy gonna just leave me with this hard
on, and nothing to do with it?
Me: Yes I am.
Because number one I am not a sex worker nor a
Number two I am married
Number three I do not mingle with individuals who cannot
Follower: My bad
Let’s just Try (2)
Follower: But now we can be friends yeah?
Follower: Can we? Tell me coz I’m in suspense
Follower: May I ask, do your tattoos have any meanings?
Follower: U wanna bang or what now?
Follower: You never told me about your tattoos
Follower: *inserts an image of one of my tattoos*
Follower: So you fill on with shit?
Me: Do you eat food with that filthy mouth?
Follower: No man! I didn’t mean it in a kuk way I’m just saying
Follower: Can I give you my number?
Follower: Can you give me yours?
Follower: I really wanna f**k you
Follower: Come now how much u gonna cost me?
Follower: You never told me about your tattoos
Follower: Like ur skin is so fine, to tat it looks cool
for sure, gives me a boner n stuff but, does it resemble anything?
Follower: Like snoopy is better than a butterfly
Follower: Wouldn’t you agree?M
Follower: How much for a naked art photo shoot with you?
Follower: You must pay me Im willing to pose naked next
Me: That’s kind of you however I have plenty male models.
Thank you for the offer 😊
Follower: K cant I do one free bee with you guys will
even pay for it photo shoot please. How much will you ask? Wont go viral uncensored
please I just want to pose naked next to babe love the art of being naked even
shaved my pubs clean for it
Follower: how much for a naked with you?
Me: I appreciate your support thank you
Follower: What is the price?
Follower: must I send you a naked pic of my body? To see I
Me: No please don’t
Follower: K but I’m only 33 still love your naked pic just
to bad you have to blur it out on Instagram why you don’t use twitter no cover
up on twitter
Follower: geez Im not doing it for money or any sex just
asking to pose naked with you guys and girls for one day Im also a borned
Follower: Leave it then if I have to pay for my naked
body to be on somecover
Follower: going full nude if you like it or not!
Follower: Sorry I was drunk last night, I wasn’t thinking.
My bad M
Follower: Hi there
Follower: how r u
I have decided to screenshot and save all strange, rude
and amusing DM’s I receive. People automatically assume the worst or extreme.
Instead of retaliating I usually respond with as much patience and kindness as
possible. It is not always possible, however hopefully it does affect them in
I have plenty more, however have realised that I’d be losing
some of the audience with all the drivel. Perhaps I will post more soon.
WILD WOMAN (n) A woman who has reclaimed her birth rite as an emotional and powerful being. A woman who does not confirm to societies expectations of her gender: but dances to the beat of her own drum.
She is sensitive and soft, fierce and honest. A truth seeker, wisdom carrier, and messenger of her ancestors 🖤
A wild woman is so many things, but this archetype is often misunderstood.
To every archetype there is both a shadow and integrated side
Wild women are mothers who have reclaimed themselves. Committed lovers who prioritize self-love and understand that freedom is an inside job.
Wild women are single women who choose to laugh, make love and play with whoever lights their spark, free of societal pressure or self judgment.
A Wild Woman with integrated qualities has a thirst for knowing herself and a desire to go deep beyond the surface of what we see as normal. She is fierce, loving and honest. She is a seeker, a wisdom carrier.
She is willing to walk alone to have what she deserves and she is willing to let love in when it arrives.
She isn’t wild because she lives a certain way, she is Wild because she lives by the guidance of Spirit and her Heart.
I am often asked how my children feel about what I do.
There are some who have even suggested that what I do may
“scar” my daughter. “Have you thought about the implications of what you do,
would have on her?”
This is for you….
In a world today; where it is easier to buy your daughter
a princess outfit – show her how she already is a princess and to accept
nothing less from anyone.
In a world today; where it is easier for an opportunist to
“pass the buck” and blame circumstances or other people for their behaviour and
mistakes – show her to take responsibility for her own actions and decisions,
to learn from them and not to make them gain.
In a world today; where people will tell you to dress in
a certain way to be socially accepted or not to “draw unnecessary attention” –
be YOURSELF and wear whatever the hell you want to.
Rather than telling your daughter that she should respect
herself and love herself, show her how to do this by doing it
yourself. Stop staring in that mirror with disapproval. Stop saying out loud
that you are fat. Stop comparing yourself to other women. All of that?? That is
all SEEN by your little girl….absorbed….and that is you teaching her NOT to
Rather than talking about what others may think…show
your daughter that self-respect starts with you believing in yourself – no matter
what others think. To stand up for your own beliefs – no matter what others
Strong and Empowered
You know what our world needs? More strong and empowering
women who backs one another. That encourages one another. Who believes in one
Less gossiping. Less discussing and unpacking each other’s
Who cares what she wore?
Who cares whether she made effort with make-up?
Who cares whether she’s a size 20 or a size 4?
The best feeling in the world is knowing that there are
others who have your back. That you can conquer the world because there’s a
tribe of women that will always be by your side. You know what is better than
that? Being one of those women.
How do we create such a system? By being those women and our
daughters SEEING it, EXPERIENCING it.
My daughter has been brought up in an environment that
there is no pressure to look a certain way.
That loving yourself has nothing to do with how much or
how little clothing you have on, at any given time. That being beautiful does
not mean that you have to be a certain way, or look a certain way. That being
lady means that you believe in yourself and in others. Being a lady means that
you are generous in giving love and kindness – not whether you have clothes on
That people will always have an opinion – and that is
okay; that is their prerogative. People will judge. That’s human. It is not for
us to return that sadness, nor judge them for feeling the way they do.
My daughter has been brought up; knowing that she is
entitled to respect and love – regardless of what and how much (or little) she
decides to wear. No one has the right to decide what she wants or deserves –
regardless of what and how much (or little) she wears.
Some people are comfortable nude.
Some people are comfortable being modest.
That is okay.
Your body is your temple
And you should be proud of your body. You live in it, you
have the tools to look after it. And that would shine brighter than words. Only
then will your daughter believe it.
She will become a self-loving, strong, empowering woman that
is kind and loving. She will be a lady
that will touch many people’s hearts and souls – and it will have nothing to do
with what she wears (or not wear)
How does my career affect my daughter?
She has learned that she’s beautiful when she accepts
She has learned that she’s strong and independent without
She has learned that self-respect starts with looking after herself.
She is learning that standing up for yourself is more rewarding
than nodding along with the masses.
She is very proud of what I do and the woman I am; and I
am humbled that I have the young independent and strong woman I see in my
How does my career affect my son?
He has learned that no matter what – you respect another human. Especially women. They are all goddesses. They are all worthy of love, worthy of kindness and worthy of being treated with respect. That they are a man’s right hand – and his heartbeat.