Social Media’s hold

Social Media’s hold

Captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography
Inked by Tony from
Awhe Tattoo Studio

I’ve recently decided that I have too many eggs in one basket and too many fingers in a pie. And as much as it’s brilliant to think that I am a “Jack of all trades”- reality is that where you focus you grow. And unfortunately it is impossible to grow in too many avenues.

I have had to deal with a few personal challenges which caused another Lupus flare. This consisted of mostly extreme fatigue, flu-like symptoms, aching joints and recently swollen face. Not being able to sleep comfortably yet feeling so incredibly exhausted really took its toll. Then the social media frustrations…

As most of you know; I’ve taken a short break from Social Media. This was prompted after the frustration of not being able to follow other accounts, like others’ posts at times and not being able to comment on other’s posts. Should you not know this; these actions are all integral for the growth of your social media profiles. (Besides the fact that I actually enjoy interacting with my followers.)

I do not take it [social media] too seriously; however I do depend on getting work through some of my social media pages. This all led to me deciding on a little detox. Now as much as such a decision is rather easy; allot of my close friends continue checking up on me asking me whether I’m “coping” without my Social Media accounts. Was I really that much on those platforms that people thought I’d struggle?

Whilst all of this is said with tongue in cheek, one of the scariest realisations recently is that people place so much value on social media that they actually identify their social standing or even their life accomplishments on being “available, present and seen” on their profiles. Their “likes” and “followers” become such an obsession that they begin to identify themselves with it! Studies have now shown that teen depression and teen suicidal tendencies are at its highest ever. This largely due to the pressure of a “false life” on social media.

Captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography
Inked by Tony from
Awhe Tattoo Studio

You see it way too often on the story lines. You see someone you idolise at some prominent restaurant and perhaps take a short video of sipping on some exotic drink with bags of shopping around them. This now seems very ideal; and probably cool to the average teen, who copies this. Only they try and emulate what they saw. Perhaps trying on the newest brand clothing and posting it as if they have just bought it. Another peer sees this and envies this. Perhaps goes to a bespoke bar and takes a snap insinuating that they dine there. This is seen by others who now feel so depressed that they are unable to afford these kind of life styles exhibited by their peers. And so the circle continues. Talking to people “in the know”, social media is still so new that these issues that come along with it is just as new, and our experts have no experience in treating this. Or very little at the moment.

It’s become quite evident how Social Media can take over and how one can allow it to affect them. Taking breaks and also limiting the amount of time you “check” on what’s going on, “checking in” to see what is going on, and “checking new likes and follows”, all will benefit your mental health I assure you. What I have personally realised from this is that when I have a spare moment I usually grab my phone and try catching up.

When I announced that I’d take a break, I deleted every social media application off my phone. This not only takes away temptation to “just quickly check what’s going on”, but also in those moments that you’d forget about your decision. I am so surprised that I have continuously had a couple moments free time and automatically went for my phone to catch up, only to see a void where the apps were – and feeling literally confused and lost. Like what now? What can I do with the time I used to spend on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter?

With most smart phones now; you are able to gauge how much time is spent on your phone, and reminders “to take breaks”.

This break from my virtual reality made me realise that I’m not only “detoxing” from Social Media, I’m freeing up “thinking space” and allowing my creative juices to flow freely. Less human interaction – which in reality exhausted me – and more ME time. Whilst social media is an integral part of what I do; I will from now on take one day completely away from all social media, as well as once a month take a four day break. I’d suggest to anyone and everyone to do the same. Take days completely away from Social Media – to allow your mind a break as well as to connect with nature/family/real life/ hobbies etc. It is so easy to get carried away with this virtual reality. So easy to loose sight of YOU. So easy to get caught up in other people’s (pretend?) lives and neglect your own self.

Captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography
Inked by Tony from
Awhe Tattoo Studio
Your Understanding vs My Reality

Your Understanding vs My Reality

Many a times I am asked the strangest questions; (strange to me) about what I do – or I hear the assumptions and can’t help but have a giggle.

To understand what I do, is to understand why I am doing what I do first. Have I lost you? What I mean is that when you look at my work, my posts on Instagram and my website; there is a general assumption as to what I do without realising what I actually do.

In the past I’ve received private messages on Social Media…

Asking for explicit images of me sometimes posing in suggestive ways. Usually this amuses me; and I always ask what gave them the idea that I’d do that or that I’m a porn star. And usually the response would be that I shouldn’t get offended as I am the one “asking for it” by posting nude images of myself. My first question would usually be : where did I show my genitals and second question : where do I pleasure myself.

You see, we as humans, and we as society have been lied to for so many years that we actually believe that the human body is a dirty, sinful thing when not covered with fabric. We have taught generations of children to be ashamed of themselves. To be embarrassed with what we were born with. That evil creatures will lurk around any corner and will pounce on you for showing a little too much skin. That there would be justification for those acts! You asked for it after all by “exposing” some of what you were born with!!

I was asked in a recent interview what I’d tell anyone who condemns what I do or brand my work as pornography. The difficult thing is that I cannot change society’s mind single handily. I do however believe that if we brought our children up to love their own bodies, and not to be ashamed of their bodies, that we respect each other’s naked bodies – not by hiding it but accepting it as natural and normal. Not to sexualise nudity and skin; that it would solve so many of our crimes and the worlds issues today.

Think about it…

There would be less sexual crimes, less depression due to self esteem issues, less self harm and eating disorders. Imagine a world with more confidence and acceptance of one self? We would have so much more success in every business sector! So many more people would achieve their dreams and optimum productivity!

Captured by Boudoir Fusion Photography

I digress. Years ago when I posed for a boudoir shoot, and whilst changing outfits, the photographer of the day asked whether he could take a shot (picture) of me. My back was facing him and I was dressed in only my knickers. I felt a little shy yet intrigued. I’ve never really had an issue with being naked; yet I’ve never actually thought of being photographed naked.

Once I got changed into my next outfit the photographer showed me on the LCD viewer what he had taken of me whilst topless. It was a gorgeous shot. It summed up to me; what I see in women. Soft, elegant, warm, feminine, sensual, love, beauty all in one. I was amazed that THAT was me! And so I was happy to shoot implied nude. After realising that this not only motivated me to share the beauty of a woman, but also to encourage other women – who do not have self confidence – that they are in fact beautiful in their own skin!

After a few months of shooting boudoir and implied nude; I met Peter from Boudoir Fusion Photography who took my first bodyscape images and I was blown away! Never mind that the images I was looking at; was of me!!! However; the human body is so darn beautiful. And every other bodyscape that Peter have done, took my breath away. I quickly learned that my art, my expression through my modelling and the images taken by me, can show emotion and can evoke emotion.

When you look at my work…

I would like to believe that most people see past the ‘nakedness’. That you notice the colours, the shapes, the textures in the images. That you are able to feel or notice whether there is sorrow, or happiness. Whether the image is more of a fine art piece to be hung on a wall of a surgeons office, or something that could be looked at or admired from your mobile phone screen, used in an advertising campaign empowering women, or used as a PC screensaver. That you can believe that I’m more than a ‘naked woman’; someone who at the age of 39 believes wholeheartedly that ANYONE can love themselves and is art. That anyone – no matter what your age, your size or your background – can love the skin that they are in. That nudity DOES NOT equal sexuality.

I love modelling, photography and matters of the heart and mind. I love art. I love the human body. Combine all of these; and you will find what I do. This is only the beginning…

What the DM – v2

What the DM – v2

If you are a loyal follower; you would have seen a while back that Ive posted some of the weird and wonderful DM’s I receive from followers. Most the time these are from the arb guys. The “passer by’s” I’d like to call them 😂

Note that I don’t always disclose their names as I really dislike “naming and shaming”. A lot of you disagree with this; however I do not feel good/satisfied/better/empowered in embarrassing someone else; and certainly not out there to “teach lessons”. This is good comical fun though…

I’m often asked how I even deal with it or cope with it. Very easily. 1. They have no idea who I am, 2. They were raised not respecting women 3. They have problems with their sexual lives 4. They are trollers

Caught out!

Hi

Hiiiiii

Hey

Hey 

Hiiiii

Hey 

You beauti

U

Hey

U no pretty anyway!!!!!

looking gergious

Hiiiiiiii

Sugar Daddy Proposal

Wanting to get spoilt rotten with good money, afford luxury clothes, shoes and good lifestyle with a weekly allowance? Am a sugar daddy looking for a loyal and honest sugar Baby to take care of, kindly HMU if interested.

I’m still waiting 😎

Dude: Hey kan u send naked video pvt

Me: You first

Dude: Ai jis do video call

Me: No, just send me a video of you

Dude: No do not hafe video of me

Me: Send me a video of you

Dude: What

Me: Send me a video of you

Me: A naked one

Dude: huh

Me: Dude – seriously? Let’s think about this. Really carefully

Dude: nag

Me: You really think I will send “naked pictures or videos” of me? To you? Who are you even? If you want naked videos or pictures go look on pornsites. Bye

Me: BTW send me your parents details – I need to congratulate them on teaching you manners and respect

Dude: huh?

Rejected!

Dude: Hiiiiiiiii sexy

Dude: You are so gorgeous, and have an incredible delicious body. Tell me, would a fine women like you be taken? Let’s hook up sometime and I can show you a few things *insert an unusual amount of arb emoji’s*

Dude: I guess the cat caught your tongue *insert double of the above amount of emoji’s*

Me: Hey there, thank you. No – however you did appear to message me at 3am. And in all fairness I was catching up on some much needed beauty sleep. No kitties in sight! That leads me to my next answer. I have never gone anywhere against my will, therefor not “taken”. I am however married 🙂

Dude: Aaaaaaaah sorry. Just delete this message. Thanks. I didn’t mean any of it anyway

Me: WHAT? Are you telling me I’m ugly?

Dude: That is not what I meant.

Me: Oh, so I’m not gorgeous, nor fine?

Dude: No, you are very beautiful

Me: Oh you’re assuming that I won’t be lost anymore since I’m “taken” therefor you won’t need to show me “a few things”?

Dude: Yes

Me: Out of curiosity; what exactly were you going to show me (considering you appear to be 19 and I am 39)

USER NOT FOUND

Too Easy

Dude: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Me: no

Dude: Okay

How does one resist this?

Too Easy 2

Dude: Can I ask you something?

Me: (think: here we go….) Typing: Sure 😊

Dude: When you pose, do you get horny. Or do you turn the photographer on?

Me: No, and no. This is a job. Do you get turned on at work?

Dude: Sometimes

Me: Well I don’t

Dude: Can I send you a picture?

Me: No thank you

Dude: Please

Me: No

Dude: okay.

Dude: Have a nice evening

Dude: If you change your mind……

Mr Famous

Dude: Thnx 4 da follow love ur gallery wow

Me: Thank you

Dude: Pleasure do you mind sharing some pictures or videos mwa

Me: You may find all my images on artbyam.com

Dude: Was hoping u would make it more special by sending it 4 me Swt *insert roses and hearts and kisses and hearts and roses*

Me: Thanks. I’m a professional model. I don’t swap images. All my images are “special”

Dude: Im totally aware of that but u caught my attention and I find u so attractive its also my dream and vision to become a pro bodybuilder

Me: I suggest you do your research prior to addressing any lady and disrespecting her. I am not a porn star. One of the lessons I suggest you learn (on your way to get your Pro card and being a prominent figure within the industry) is respect and being humble. NOT asking to swap nude videos.

Me: Have a nice life

Since you ask so nicely….

Pardon?

Dude: Hey! hgd?

Dude: Wmj?

Dude: halo sexy; wmj?

Me: what does that even mean?

Dude: jmr mooi dang. js bja mooi!

Me: no

Dude: Jys rrg bja mooi

Dude: Halo?

Dude: wmj

Whilst I do try and engage as much as I can with my followers on IG, I limit my time on Facebook. I also found that the people on Facebook are – in general and not everyone – a little more rude and crude. Perhaps I have just started loosing interest due to the very strict rules and restrictions. Regardless, I value each person who follows me, respects me and takes the time to appreciate what I do. Whatever their thoughts, assumptions or intentions are!

Version 3 will most likely be posted soon! Hope you had a little giggle 😜

Nude Modelling: What actually happens during a photoshoot

Nude Modelling: What actually happens during a photoshoot

Image captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography

I posted an image last night with a brief description of what happens when I shoot. I’ve had such great responses and more questions that I figured I may give a little more details of what my general shoot day looks like.

BUT FIRST…..

I instantly feel irritated with some questions and remarks when it comes to what I do. However; trying the shoe on my foot – allow me to set a few things straight:

  1. Do you have sex with other photographers and models on set? Don’t be ridiculous would be my first answer. Think of your work place. Do sleep with your clients? Wait…. don’t answer that….the average person doesn’t! We are all there to do a job. Not have sex.
  2. Do you or your photographer get aroused/turned on when you shoot in nude? Again; Don’t be ridiculous. HOWEVER; this is a plausible question as I gather that if you are not used to see people in the nude; being human – it may be a “turn on”. Should this ever be the case, I would not know as all the people I’ve worked with have always kept our shoots very professional. Then again I only work with people who are experienced with what I do.
  3. How does your husband “allow” you to do this? I do not “belong” to a single other individual. I’m not property to be owned – therefor no one should or would have ownership of me and “allow” me to do anything. I would advise you to look very deeply within yourself when you think this way. All my loved ones (including my children) support me, and encourages me. They are fully aware that when I am with them; I give “me”, I give my time and my heart to them. What you see on photos of me is something that is created – not my personality, my heart, my mind or any other intimate moments of me.

Preparation

Clients get in touch with me via my website, Messenger on FB or DM’s on Insta. “Clients” refer to an individual or company that will employ me/pay for me to model a brand, a concept or something abstract. This could be an amateur photographer, a clothing/beauty/food/coffee etc brand, or artist or even a private individual that wants my work displayed in their house/workplace/office/reception or an artist that wishes to paint or sketch me.

Once they have reached out, I send my hourly rates and we discuss what the requirements are. We book hair, make-up and wardrobe if necessary as well as the location.

It’s very similar to an actress – I am provided a reference/dream board/idea and then meet for a briefing of the job.
We go through the set; we discuss at length what mister client wants to achieve and then we start.

On set

First half hour is usually like a rehearsal. I become or embody the mood that is meant to reflect what we shoot. Acting out the emotions and moods. Moving around and “connecting” with the lens. The photographer would take a few shots and we would look at the results and unpack how we want to change or enhance the results thus far.
Sometimes we nail the shot; sometimes we don’t.

Depending on client (I call them trigger happy or interval clickers) I move with every shot or I pose until desired shot, light, mood, and pose is achieved. I have to change my facial expression and my body continuously. 
A lot of people don’t realise this but posing in it self is work! It means you’re posing head to toe – all at the same time! Suck your tummy in, relax the look in your eyes, relax hands and fingers, chin out and nose down, feet pointed at all times, arch back and push out butt etc. You have to know what you are good at, your “good sides”, your flaws (and how to move to avoid it), and not to move in extreme gestures and movements.

This takes a while and sometimes we end up with amazing work, other times not. For most jobs (nude excluded of course); I’d have 3 outfit changes.
We then “load” the images onto the computer, and go through the images.
Selection process then post work begins. This is the harder part, and if the light and set up wasn’t spot on; the most technical part for the photographer would be in post work. Editing becomes more challenging.

Leave the BS at the door

This is my passion – though it’s work I LOVE every minute of every shoot.
I do not entertain any bullshit on set ever.
Then again the people I work with have always been incredibly professional. No person will try anything on. I have always prided myself in being professional and making it clear that there’s no room for any nonsense.

I do not drink on any job, nor would I work with anyone who does. My manager is fully aware of my movements and my diary, as is my family. As soon as I arrive at a job, I’d WhatsApp everyone my location.

The P word

I do not get involved with “adult entertainment” industry, not because I do not agree with it, but because that is not my line of work. Should I ever be addressed or employed for anything that involves the adult industry; I’d consult with my team and most importantly talk to my family.

That being said: I will not and have never entertained or considered pornography. I will not engage or consider that avenue, and have no inclination nor desire to explore that. Yes, pornography to some could also be art. For me personally; it’s not my thing.

SIDE NOTE:

Pornography, representation of sexual behaviour in books, pictures, statues, motion pictures, and other media that is intended to cause sexual excitement. The distinction between pornography (illicit and condemned material) and erotica (which is broadly tolerated) is largely subjective and reflects changing community standards. The word pornography, derived from the Greek porni (“prostitute”) and graphein (“to write”), was originally defined as any work of art or literature depicting the life of prostitutes.

Because the very definition of pornography is subjective, a history of pornography is nearly impossible to conceive; imagery that might be considered erotic or even religious in one society may be condemned as pornographic in another. Thus, European travelers to India in the 19th century were appalled by what they considered pornographic representations of sexual contact and intercourse on Hindu temples such as those of Khajuraho; most modern observers would probably react differently. Many contemporary Muslim societies likewise apply the label “pornography” to many motion pictures and television programs that are unobjectionable in Western societies. To adapt a cliché, pornography is very much in the eye of the beholder.

Image captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography

I demand respect

I take my work very seriously 
This is NOT an invite to ask me out, to ask me for a coffee, to ask “to get to know me”, to send me proposals, to send me genitalia or ask me advise on your genitals, to request to pose naked with me, to tell me how I’m asking to be disrespected, to ask me whether I have had any specific sexual deeds done to me. 

What I do is all on images – you cannot assume that I don’t have anything left for my special person in my life. There’s so much more to a body than what the eye meets in an image. 
In fact it is YOUR creativity and imagination that creates something from what you see. If this leads you to anything other than appreciation; keep it to yourself.

Thank You

A lot of my work is for sale too! 
Questions about who I am, my life, my tattoos etc? Have a look at my blogs. It’s all on here.
Thank you to each of you for your ongoing love, kindness and support – I value you so much! I’ve had countless messages from women especially thanking me for inspiration or motivation; and to be frank: THAT makes my day.


🖤 Don’t you think the curves of a woman is just beautiful? 🖤

FAQ’s 2020

FAQ’s 2020

Quite often I am asked a variety of questions that eventually becomes mundane to answer. Psychologically almost every human LOVES two things: Hearing their name and talking about themselves. HOWEVER; when the same questions pop up day in day out for a couple of years, it can get a little long in the tooth to answer.

I love engaging with my followers and love answering (most) questions, so I almost feel that it’s pretty unfair of me to become this stultify. Hence writing an “updated version” of about me. Now you will notice I say “updated” and that would be in view of the fact that I have indeed written two other posts with said topic. Never the less, I feel that I should update you guys on the topic at least once a year as I am a very impulsive, spontaneous and passionate individual that love changes.

To keep it neat and tidy, and to mix things up a bit (in comparison to my last two blogs about this topic anyway), I’ll answer the questions in true questionnaire fashion.

  1. How tall are you? 1, 80m (6ft)
  2. How many tattoos do you have? So many!! I don’t actually count them)
  3. How long have you been modelling? About four years full time.
  4. What made you decide to pursue modelling? I used to do ramp modelling whilst a teen. When we migrated to South Africa after living in the UK for several years, a friend asked me to be their “test subject” for a lighting set-up. After which I was approached by a photographer that asked whether I’d shoot boudoir with him. I agreed and our work together was stunning. He asked me to consider working with him again. Some of our work involved more explicit content (nude) which I absolutely loved. I was surprised as to how comfortable I felt in front of the camera. I was beginning to receive many more requests to shoot and that was the birth of my nude modelling career. In the interim, I’ve worked for several art schools (live posing), art studios, artists, television and publications.
  5. How old are you? Just turned 40
  6. How do your family and friends feel about you being naked in front of millions? I have lost an entire group of “friends” that felt that a mum and wife should not do “this”. That it is “disrespectful”. The most painful process is learning that the people who you think are loyal to you, don’t have your back. The most liberating feeling is when you realise that they were not actually your “friend”. My family are my biggest fans. My children especially – as they have learnt to follow their dreams and passions. That every person’s BODY is a beautiful BODY, no matter the sex, size or race – and whether you are nude or covered. My friends are all supportive and all love what I do and what I stand for.
  7. How often do you work out? I am on a training programme which I stick to and work closely with my coach. I train every day, 6 days a week weight training and 6 days a week yoga. I also eat a balanced healthy meal plan that ensures that I achieve my optimal energy levels. My diet excludes red meat, potatoes, gluten pasta’s, dairy and sugar. I eat at least 6 times a day.
  8. What diet are you on? See above
  9. Are you single? I am married with 2 children – my husband and I are no longer together and we are essentially in a conscious uncoupling process. The only reason why I would divulge this private information is that I feel more people would benefit from learning about this topic/method. I am considering using this method to counsel in future.
  10. Are you sexual? YES! and the great news is… SO ARE YOU! We are all sexual creatures. We were created to procreate. Most of all; most people were lead to believe that sex is shameful and sin – that is not true.
  11. What do you do? I could be facetious about this and say lots of things! Currently, I’m writing my blog 😜 On a serious note; I consider myself a full-time model, Artist, Networker, Life Coach, Counselor and Business Owner. I’m studying psychology and working towards helping as many people heal from whatever they are facing, as possible.
  12. Are you a pornstar? Please finish reading this blog, then return to the blog where I explain the difference between nudity and pornography.
  13. Why don’t you respond? I respond as often as I am able to. Believe it or not; Instagram and Facebook are not all I do.
  14. Why do you not chat more? See point 8.
  15. What inspires you? Knowing that I can make a difference. I cannot save the world, however, I can leave a legacy by touching at least one person’s heart or soul.
  16. Why do you not show your nipples and vagina? Because dear fella; I will not only be removed from social media platforms, I have a business to run. You may find all my uncensored work on here. If you are only keen to see my vagina, or up my uterus – please feel free to type “vagina” (or relevant terms) into your search engine as I am sure you will find said options in all shapes and sizes.
Image captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography

I often feel that most people are quite surprised in learning that I am a little more intelligent than what they assume me to be (pun not intended). However, it never fails to surprise me how some people underestimate a woman that seems to be comfortable to be nude or semi-nude. That being said; I’m rather content with how little people know about me, as as much as I love creating nude imagery, I prefer for people to know as little as possible about me. Oh, the paradox!

Another topic that keeps rearing its head is that people ask advice. Relationship, career and personal life advice. I’ve always been called the “Agony Aunt” in my friend circles and never really minded. Perhaps why I’ve decided to take councilling more serious? So I’m toying with the idea of offering an “Agony Aunt service” 😂

Let me know what your thoughts are! And as always, thank you for following me, for reading my blog, for supporting me and most of all; for your kindness. For every dick pic (DP) I receive; I receive at least 80 kind DM’s. 1:80 is not a bad ratio at all ❤️