Oh hey there!

Oh hey there!

I thought I’d reintroduce myself. Last year I wrote a bio for my webpage, and I when people ask for information about me; I refer them back to my bio – however being the person that I am; I’d personally not go and look for my bio 😂. Not because I’m lazy – because I’m too darn busy to scroll through pages. Though I personally think some of my blogs are rather funny and well worth going through.

Who is Alli?

Hi! My name is Allison-Ann Montgomery-Maaske. So in answer to the most common questions:

I am 39 years old, my birthday is on 21 January and I am an Aquarius. Yes, it’s on the cusp – however I am indeed first day of an Aquarius. I am a spiritual being believing that we are the universe and the universe is us. We were created as the universe/God/Almighty Power existing in a human form/life. My full time job is as a model, ambassador for various brands, professional entertainment presence, Life Coach and counsellor.

Image captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography

Adulting

I am a mum of two (Daughter and Son – 17 and 15), I’m studying part time psychology. I also have qualifications as a professional make-up artist, beautician, certified book keeper, diploma in social media marketing, diploma in photography (entry/beginner), diploma in sports nutrition and in fitness & weight loss.

NOTE: This goes against all writing rules, however this is also practically my CV, therefor all sentences – or nearly all of them – will start with: “I am” #sorrynotsorry

Passions

I am very very VERY passionate about equality (aka feminism – however people seem to think that word is the same as sexist, therefore we will stick to equality), empowerment and most of all: HELPING PEOPLE TO HEAL (will get back to this in a moment). I am a public speaker, and have spoken many times in front of pretty big crowds whilst living in England. Yes, I’ve lived in the UK most my adult life. My children are English, though we’ve been in South Africa the past 7 years.

I am a fitness fanatic, health fanatic and advocate for love and kindness. In fact I believe we would have a more harmonious life if we had a fair balance of those four areas. I’m also obsessed with human behaviour…..

But don’t let the diagnoses fool you…

I was diagnosed with several medical conditions through-out my life including Lupus, PCOS, rheumatoid arthritis, and various other lines’. I also have Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. I personally have been a stat/victim of sexual abuse and violence, physical and mental abuse.

I am incredibly grateful for all the above – it created and shaped the person I am. I have a burning desire to help as many people as possible, realise their dreams and passions, assist as many people as possible to achieve their dreams and passions, and most of all help as many people as possible heal from whatever obstacles or challenges they have faced (or currently facing).

Image captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography

My creativity

My nude modelling is another passion. I have always been comfortable in my skin. Knowing that I am able to express a certain “look” or communicate without saying a single word; through my modelling is beautiful to me. Being your authentic self is beautiful. The human form is incredibly powerful, mechanical, breathtakingly beautiful. That each human was created the same but completely different? Just WOW! That with the help of one gesture; you can communicate love, anger, sadness, excitement, or even erotica.

In saying that,

I do not expect everyone to feel the way I do. I understand that what is liberating to me may be constrictive to another. Therefore I would never expect people to believe that nudity is the only or the right way. However I suppose with my art I’d like to believe that it has shown people that nudity can be beautiful. And to break that stigma of nudity = sex. Or nudity is “attention seeking”.

Now with all of the above – I trust I have given you all the answers to all the common questions I’m usually asked.

One last thing

I LOVE music and books and most of all intellectual conversations.

What the DM?!

What the DM?!

Have you ever wondered what goes on in my DM’s? Of course, you have! Or you could only imagine or assume right?

Doing what I’m doing one would naturally assume that you attract all kinds of attention. Personally, it doesn’t bother me. From my understanding; it is human nature to get excited, intrigued, even mesmerised by something that is considered taboo in our day to day lives. To follow someone that so flamboyantly comfortable to expose so much skin; to become so comfortably sensual in the public eye, is certainly not “normal” in society.

Here are a few of the DM’s that I have received – and saved. I will be keeping it anonymous. Should you see one of your DM’s here; please don’t take offense.

Please also note that there are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. Not mine. Theirs

Mr Flirt

Follower: You are a stunner, and you are a flirt too

Me: Thank you for the compliment

Follower: Why do you flirt when you are married?

Follower: Tease

Me: No, I think you confuse the two. When someone is friendly and when someone is flirting

Follower: Interesting

Follower: The Question being, why are you so flirty?

Me: I’m really happy to have met you. And thank you for the lovely compliments. I am happily married and would never dream of screwing up my relationship of 18 years. I have always been the way I am.

Some people get it, some don’t. You don’t need to get it.

Follower: You are avoiding the question of being flirty….a simple yes or no

Me: No

Follower: Cool, nice meeting you

Me: have a great day 😊

Mr Big Bucks

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: How are you?

Follower: Hi

Follower: I will give you R5000 to talk to me

Follower: I’ll take that as a no…Bye now….Don’t have time for people who waste my time

Follower: Hi Alli

Follower: Hi??????

Sexy Selfie

Follower: Hi, I love your photos

Me: Thank you so much, and thank you for your support

Follower: Sweet so send a sexy selfie

Follower: It’s a pleasure but send sume sexy selfie of you self  (exactly how that was typed)

Me: You are welcome to look at any of my images on my website 😊

Follower: But u my send me sume plz hun

Follower: What r u up to now

Me: I think you have the wrong impression of me. I’m at home with my husband and children 😊

Follower: No I don’t. Send me a selfie of u now plz

Me: Sure

(Here I sent him three images of a hairy elderly overweight man)

Follower: what???

Me: What is wrong?

Mr Crude

Follower: Do you have a nice bush hiding inside your panty?

Me: Do you speak to your mum like that?

Follower: You are not my mum

Me: Thank heavens for that!! I’d be mortified if I was!

Follower: So do you have a nice bush in hiding?

Me: What is your name and where do you live?

Follower: How about a full body pic?

Me: What is your name and where do you live?

Follower: Tom Oliver Florida

Me: Oh fabulous Tom. Shall I tag your real name when I repost this?

*this contact does not exist*

Mr To-the-Point

Follower: Hii

Follower: Sexy girl

Follower: kisses

Follower: You are so hot

Follower: I want to F**k you

Taking a chance?

Follower: Do you still do shoots?

Me: Good morning XXXX, yes I do 😊

Follower: Are you on whatsapp please

Follower: Alli still waiting to pay you please

Me: Pay me for?

Follower: A shoot we want you in please

Me: I will send my rates shortly. Who is “we”?

Follower: XXXX from world mag. Are you on whatsapp please?

Me: Insert his profile image which is blank.

Me: Aaaaaaah I thought I recognised you!!!

Follower: Me. What have I done?

Me: Apologies but I do not give my number out.

Me: Nothing at all. You don’t have a profile picture

Me: Insert my rates and Z card

Follower: But we still need your number for our system i keep to myself

Follower: We have better rates

Me: That’s amazing. Please feel free to email my agent

Follower: Why not chat direct to u

Me: Insert agent email address

Follower: Pay u 9k bikini 15k topless and 25k nude

Me: No worries. Sounds great

Follower: It is for world mag a uk company

Me: Please send your company details including company registration, address and telephone number to Insert agent email address

Follower: Again still need u number u can delete again

Me: Inclusive of all the details

Me: Nope

Me: You may email the details to my agent so that we can ensure this is legit

Follower: Sure

Me: This is unfortunately my terms.

I then research the name of the magazine and google comes up with “WORLD magazine – Today’s Christian Views and Christain News”. I take screen shot and post it to him

Follower: Our sister company

Follower: I know you are married

Me: Your sister company is a Christian magazine? And you need me to pose nude?

I’m sorry, I have NEVER done business over “whatsapp”. I have never accepted 25K offer over messenger.

You do not have a profile photo.

You have no photos

You tell me you work for a Christian magazine’s sister company but you want me to do nude shoots.

Please supply me with your office number so that I can speak to you and verify your existence.

Follower:  I will email you

Me: Of course you will 😊 Have a great day scammer

M

Mr Educator

Follower: *insert Eggplant and splash emoji’s*

Follower: Good morning wow

Follower: Hey there

Follower: Do you know what a c*m shot is?

Follower: x

Me: do you know what respect is?

Let’s just try (1)

Follower: Hi, what else could u do besides nude shoots?

Me: I am a full time model 😊

Follower: So if I pay you for escort services?

Me: Then I’d would suggest you look for an escort agency

Follower: If I were to ask you out on a date?

Me: Then I’d say noJ

Jerk

Follower: Thanks for the morning glory

Follower: U made my day

Follower: *insert heart emoji*

Follower: R you realy gonna just leave me with this hard on, and nothing to do with it?

Me: Yes I am.

Because number one I am not a sex worker nor a pornographer

Number two I am married

Number three I do not mingle with individuals who cannot respect me.

Follower: My bad

Let’s just Try (2)

Follower: But now we can be friends yeah?

Follower: Can we? Tell me coz I’m in suspense

Follower: May I ask, do your tattoos have any meanings?

Follower: U wanna bang or what now?

Follower: You never told me about your tattoos

Follower: *inserts an image of one of my tattoos*

Follower: So you fill on with shit?

Me: Do you eat food with that filthy mouth?

Follower: No man! I didn’t mean it in a kuk way I’m just saying

Follower: Can I give you my number?

Follower: Can you give me yours?

Follower: I really wanna f**k you

Follower: Come now how much u gonna cost me?

Follower: You never told me about your tattoos

Follower: Like ur skin is so fine, to tat it looks cool for sure, gives me a boner n stuff but, does it resemble anything?

Follower: Like snoopy is better than a butterfly

Follower: Wouldn’t you agree?M

Mr Poser

Follower: How much for a naked art photo shoot with you?

Follower: You must pay me Im willing to pose naked next to you

Me: That’s kind of you however I have plenty male models. Thank you for the offer 😊

Follower: K cant I do one free bee with you guys will even pay for it photo shoot please. How much will you ask? Wont go viral uncensored please I just want to pose naked next to babe love the art of being naked even shaved my pubs clean for it

Follower: how much for a naked with you?

Me: I appreciate your support thank you

Follower: What is the price?

Follower: must I send you a naked pic of my body? To see I pass please

Me: No please don’t

Follower: K but I’m only 33 still love your naked pic just to bad you have to blur it out on Instagram why you don’t use twitter no cover up on twitter

Follower: geez Im not doing it for money or any sex just asking to pose naked with you guys and girls for one day Im also a borned nudist

Follower: Leave it then if I have to pay for my naked body to be on somecover

Follower: going full nude if you like it or not!

NEXT MORNING

Follower: Sorry I was drunk last night, I wasn’t thinking. My bad
M

Mr Persistent

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi there

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Sexy

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hiiiii

Follower: hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hello

Follower: hi

Follower: how r u

Follower: sexy

Follower: Hi

I have decided to screenshot and save all strange, rude and amusing DM’s I receive. People automatically assume the worst or extreme. Instead of retaliating I usually respond with as much patience and kindness as possible. It is not always possible, however hopefully it does affect them in some way.

I have plenty more, however have realised that I’d be losing some of the audience with all the drivel. Perhaps I will post more soon.