I thought I’d reintroduce myself. Last year I wrote a bio for my webpage, and I when people ask for information about me; I refer them back to my bio – however being the person that I am; I’d personally not go and look for my bio 😂. Not because I’m lazy – because I’m too darn busy to scroll through pages. Though I personally think some of my blogs are rather funny and well worth going through.
Who is Alli?
Hi! My name is Allison-Ann Montgomery-Maaske. So in answer to the most common questions:
I am 39 years old, my birthday is on 21 January and I am an Aquarius. Yes, it’s on the cusp – however I am indeed first day of an Aquarius. I am a spiritual being believing that we are the universe and the universe is us. We were created as the universe/God/Almighty Power existing in a human form/life. My full time job is as a model, ambassador for various brands, professional entertainment presence, Life Coach and counsellor.
I am a mum of two (Daughter and Son – 17 and 15), I’m studying part time psychology. I also have qualifications as a professional make-up artist, beautician, certified book keeper, diploma in social media marketing, diploma in photography (entry/beginner), diploma in sports nutrition and in fitness & weight loss.
NOTE: This goes against all writing rules, however this is also practically my CV, therefor all sentences – or nearly all of them – will start with: “I am” #sorrynotsorry
Passions
I am very very VERY passionate about equality (aka feminism – however people seem to think that word is the same as sexist, therefore we will stick to equality), empowerment and most of all: HELPING PEOPLE TO HEAL (will get back to this in a moment). I am a public speaker, and have spoken many times in front of pretty big crowds whilst living in England. Yes, I’ve lived in the UK most my adult life. My children are English, though we’ve been in South Africa the past 7 years.
I am a fitness fanatic, health fanatic and advocate for love and kindness. In fact I believe we would have a more harmonious life if we had a fair balance of those four areas. I’m also obsessed with human behaviour…..
But don’t let the diagnoses fool you…
I was diagnosed with several medical conditions through-out my life including Lupus, PCOS, rheumatoid arthritis, and various other lines’. I also have Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. I personally have been a stat/victim of sexual abuse and violence, physical and mental abuse.
I am incredibly grateful for all the above – it created and shaped the person I am. I have a burning desire to help as many people as possible, realise their dreams and passions, assist as many people as possible to achieve their dreams and passions, and most of all help as many people as possible heal from whatever obstacles or challenges they have faced (or currently facing).
My nude modelling is another passion. I have always been comfortable in my skin. Knowing that I am able to express a certain “look” or communicate without saying a single word; through my modelling is beautiful to me. Being your authentic self is beautiful. The human form is incredibly powerful, mechanical, breathtakingly beautiful. That each human was created the same but completely different? Just WOW! That with the help of one gesture; you can communicate love, anger, sadness, excitement, or even erotica.
In saying that,
I do not expect everyone to feel the way I do. I understand that what is liberating to me may be constrictive to another. Therefore I would never expect people to believe that nudity is the only or the right way. However I suppose with my art I’d like to believe that it has shown people that nudity can be beautiful. And to break that stigma of nudity = sex. Or nudity is “attention seeking”.
Now with all of the above – I trust I have given you all the answers to all the common questions I’m usually asked.
One last thing
I LOVE music and books and most of all intellectual conversations.
Have you ever wondered what goes on in my DM’s? Of
course, you have! Or you could only imagine or assume right?
Doing what I’m doing one would naturally assume that you
attract all kinds of attention. Personally, it doesn’t bother me. From my
understanding; it is human nature to get excited, intrigued, even mesmerised by
something that is considered taboo in our day to day lives. To follow someone
that so flamboyantly comfortable to expose so much skin; to become so
comfortably sensual in the public eye, is certainly not “normal” in society.
Here are a few of the DM’s that I have received – and saved. I will be keeping it anonymous. Should you see one of your DM’s here; please don’t take offense.
Please also note that there are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. Not mine. Theirs
Mr Flirt
Follower: You are a stunner, and you are a flirt too
Me: Thank you for the compliment
Follower: Why do you flirt when you are married?
Follower: Tease
Me: No, I think you confuse the two. When someone is
friendly and when someone is flirting
Follower: Interesting
Follower: The Question being, why are you so flirty?
Me: I’m really happy to have met you. And thank you for
the lovely compliments. I am happily married and would never dream of screwing
up my relationship of 18 years. I have always been the way I am.
Some people get it, some don’t. You don’t need to get it.
Follower: You are avoiding the question of being flirty….a
simple yes or no
Me: No
Follower: Cool, nice meeting you
Me: have a great day 😊
Mr Big Bucks
Follower: Hi
Follower: Hi
Follower: How are you?
Follower: Hi
Follower: I will give you R5000 to talk to me
Follower: I’ll take that as a no…Bye now….Don’t have time
for people who waste my time
Follower: Hi Alli
Follower: Hi??????
Sexy Selfie
Follower: Hi, I love your photos
Me: Thank you so much, and thank you for your support
Follower: Sweet so send a sexy selfie
Follower: It’s a pleasure but send sume sexy selfie of
you self (exactly how that was typed)
Me: You are welcome to look at any of my images on my
website 😊
Follower: But u my send me sume plz hun
Follower: What r u up to now
Me: I think you have the wrong impression of me. I’m at
home with my husband and children 😊
Follower: No I don’t. Send me a selfie of u now plz
Me: Sure
(Here I sent him three images of a hairy elderly
overweight man)
Follower: what???
Me: What is wrong?
Mr Crude
Follower: Do you have a nice bush hiding inside your
panty?
Me: Do you speak to your mum like that?
Follower: You are not my mum
Me: Thank heavens for that!! I’d be mortified if I was!
Follower: So do you have a nice bush in hiding?
Me: What is your name and where do you live?
Follower: How about a full body pic?
Me: What is your name and where do you live?
Follower: Tom Oliver Florida
Me: Oh fabulous Tom. Shall I tag your real name when I
repost this?
*this contact does not exist*
Mr To-the-Point
Follower: Hii
Follower: Sexy girl
Follower: kisses
Follower: You are so hot
Follower: I want to F**k you
Taking a chance?
Follower: Do you still do shoots?
Me: Good morning XXXX, yes I do 😊
Follower: Are you on whatsapp please
Follower: Alli still waiting to pay you please
Me: Pay me for?
Follower: A shoot we want you in please
Me: I will send my rates shortly. Who is “we”?
Follower: XXXX from world mag. Are you on whatsapp
please?
Me: Insert his profile image which is blank.
Me: Aaaaaaah I thought I recognised you!!!
Follower: Me. What have I done?
Me: Apologies but I do not give my number out.
Me: Nothing at all. You don’t have a profile picture
Me: Insert my rates and Z card
Follower: But we still need your number for our system i
keep to myself
Follower: We have better rates
Me: That’s amazing. Please feel free to email my agent
Follower: Why not chat direct to u
Me: Insert agent email address
Follower: Pay u 9k bikini 15k topless and 25k nude
Me: No worries. Sounds great
Follower: It is for world mag a uk company
Me: Please send your company details including company
registration, address and telephone number to Insert agent email address
Follower: Again still need u number u can delete again
Me: Inclusive of all the details
Me: Nope
Me: You may email the details to my agent so that we can
ensure this is legit
Follower: Sure
Me: This is unfortunately my terms.
I then research the name of the magazine and
google comes up with “WORLD magazine – Today’s Christian Views and Christain
News”. I take screen shot and post it to him
Follower: Our sister company
Follower: I know you are married
Me: Your sister company is a Christian magazine? And you
need me to pose nude?
I’m sorry, I have NEVER done business over “whatsapp”. I
have never accepted 25K offer over messenger.
You do not have a profile photo.
You have no photos
You tell me you work for a Christian magazine’s sister
company but you want me to do nude shoots.
Please supply me with your office number so that I can
speak to you and verify your existence.
Follower: I will
email you
Me: Of course you will 😊 Have a great day scammer
M
Mr Educator
Follower: *insert Eggplant and splash emoji’s*
Follower: Good morning wow
Follower: Hey there
Follower: Do you know what a c*m shot is?
Follower: x
Me: do you know what respect is?
Let’s just try (1)
Follower: Hi, what else could u do besides nude shoots?
Me: I am a full time model 😊
Follower: So if I pay you for escort services?
Me: Then I’d would suggest you look for an escort agency
Follower: If I were to ask you out on a date?
Me: Then I’d say noJ
Jerk
Follower: Thanks for the morning glory
Follower: U made my day
Follower: *insert heart emoji*
Follower: R you realy gonna just leave me with this hard
on, and nothing to do with it?
Me: Yes I am.
Because number one I am not a sex worker nor a
pornographer
Number two I am married
Number three I do not mingle with individuals who cannot
respect me.
Follower: My bad
Let’s just Try (2)
Follower: But now we can be friends yeah?
Follower: Can we? Tell me coz I’m in suspense
Follower: May I ask, do your tattoos have any meanings?
Follower: U wanna bang or what now?
Follower: You never told me about your tattoos
Follower: *inserts an image of one of my tattoos*
Follower: So you fill on with shit?
Me: Do you eat food with that filthy mouth?
Follower: No man! I didn’t mean it in a kuk way I’m just saying
Follower: Can I give you my number?
Follower: Can you give me yours?
Follower: I really wanna f**k you
Follower: Come now how much u gonna cost me?
Follower: You never told me about your tattoos
Follower: Like ur skin is so fine, to tat it looks cool
for sure, gives me a boner n stuff but, does it resemble anything?
Follower: Like snoopy is better than a butterfly
Follower: Wouldn’t you agree?M
Mr Poser
Follower: How much for a naked art photo shoot with you?
Follower: You must pay me Im willing to pose naked next
to you
Me: That’s kind of you however I have plenty male models.
Thank you for the offer 😊
Follower: K cant I do one free bee with you guys will
even pay for it photo shoot please. How much will you ask? Wont go viral uncensored
please I just want to pose naked next to babe love the art of being naked even
shaved my pubs clean for it
Follower: how much for a naked with you?
Me: I appreciate your support thank you
Follower: What is the price?
Follower: must I send you a naked pic of my body? To see I
pass please
Me: No please don’t
Follower: K but I’m only 33 still love your naked pic just
to bad you have to blur it out on Instagram why you don’t use twitter no cover
up on twitter
Follower: geez Im not doing it for money or any sex just
asking to pose naked with you guys and girls for one day Im also a borned
nudist
Follower: Leave it then if I have to pay for my naked
body to be on somecover
Follower: going full nude if you like it or not!
NEXT MORNING
Follower: Sorry I was drunk last night, I wasn’t thinking.
My bad M
Mr Persistent
Follower: Hi
Follower: Hi
Follower: Hi
Follower: Hi there
Follower: Hi
Follower: Hi
Follower: Hi
Follower: Sexy
Follower: Hi
Follower: Hi
Follower: Hi
Follower: Hiiiii
Follower: hi
Follower: Hi
Follower: Hello
Follower: hi
Follower: how r u
Follower: sexy
Follower: Hi
I have decided to screenshot and save all strange, rude
and amusing DM’s I receive. People automatically assume the worst or extreme.
Instead of retaliating I usually respond with as much patience and kindness as
possible. It is not always possible, however hopefully it does affect them in
some way.
I have plenty more, however have realised that I’d be losing
some of the audience with all the drivel. Perhaps I will post more soon.
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