Whilst I am under no disillusion that my images may evoke all kinds of sexual attention and feelings, it never ceases to amaze me how random strange people will start following my account(s) on social media and feel it is okay to tell me all kinds of things that I am pretty sure they’d never say to me in person. Or to anyone for that matter.
Over the past two days, Facebook decided to mix up the algorithm, and suddenly one received a million new follow requests. With that, I know comes a whole bunch of thirsty individuals who either think that a page like mine’s sole purpose is to either start “chatting”, to “sex chat” or to hook up one way or the other. Now whilst for some it may actually work, I have not met a single lady that’s into that or that any of these creepy messages work for.
What I’ve discovered even more surprising and in many instances; infuriating is that my type of content – these guys feel – give them the reason to talk like that. It appears that their ability to be grown-ass adults goes completely amiss once a woman posts pictures on social media of their naked skin or a glimpse of breasts/buttocks.
What I have realised is that because it’s only of late, that it has become more of a norm for people to venture into the adult side of things, that most of the “average” Joe Soap do not really know how to deal with it. Whether or not they should dirty talk, is that what people want? Or whether or not you compliment private areas on a body in public since this individual is clearly that comfortable with sharing it online.
Following my “What-the-DM” blogs, it is clear that some really don’t give a toss as in their opinion you are out there to show off sexually therefore you deserve to be spoken to in a certain way. It infuriates me so much as it seems that a lot of people need to be taught to work on their way of thinking. The age-old “if you dress that way, you can’t complain” still sticks in this type of peoples minds.
I often wonder if these guys would have the balls to say what they say to nudist/adult workers in person should they ever meet them? Or whether they’d be surprised that the purpose of some of these images is definitely not intending to receive disrespectful comments or messages. And why if you thought that the intention was for attention, would it be okay to use disgusting language?
So how would one expect to be spoken to should you post naked/adult content? Well, in short; the same way that a person who sits in church does. I have never asked or pointed out to people to focus on various parts of my body nor have I called those parts ugly words as one would do on the most famous adult websites. Therefore I expect you as the viewer to respect that at least. Though expectations always set one up for disappointment 😂
Many have told me before that because I have chosen this industry, I should not be so hurt nor surprised when men become uncontrollably horny and talk to me in that fashion. “After all, isn’t that what you want or what drives traffic to your OF site?” No, I do not want or need anyone to give me the dirty sexual energy of that of lust. Nor is my work of the nature where I want that type of audience. HOWEVER, even if that was my audience I would imagine that I would STILL want and deserve respect and be spoken to in a kind and respectful manner.
And in conclusion; most of these followers seem to want to “go for a coffee”. Out experience, most of the followers can’t even have a decent conversation on a social media site, can’t understand many of the topics that I study or talk about and have no idea how to do most things other than talk about “pussy”. I also doubt that they’d know what to do with someone like me. I am opinionated, I am feisty, and I know exactly what I deserve. Furthermore – would you be able to introduce someone like me to your parents or family? And know that all my naked photos are on the internet 😂😝
I’ve recently decided that I have too many eggs in one basket and too many fingers in a pie. And as much as it’s brilliant to think that I am a “Jack of all trades”- reality is that where you focus you grow. And unfortunately it is impossible to grow in too many avenues.
I have had to deal with a few personal challenges which caused another Lupus flare. This consisted of mostly extreme fatigue, flu-like symptoms, aching joints and recently swollen face. Not being able to sleep comfortably yet feeling so incredibly exhausted really took its toll. Then the social media frustrations…
As most of you know; I’ve taken a short break from Social Media. This was prompted after the frustration of not being able to follow other accounts, like others’ posts at times and not being able to comment on other’s posts. Should you not know this; these actions are all integral for the growth of your social media profiles. (Besides the fact that I actually enjoy interacting with my followers.)
I do not take it [social media] too seriously; however I do depend on getting work through some of my social media pages. This all led to me deciding on a little detox. Now as much as such a decision is rather easy; allot of my close friends continue checking up on me asking me whether I’m “coping” without my Social Media accounts. Was I really that much on those platforms that people thought I’d struggle?
Whilst all of this is said with tongue in cheek, one of the scariest realisations recently is that people place so much value on social media that they actually identify their social standing or even their life accomplishments on being “available, present and seen” on their profiles. Their “likes” and “followers” become such an obsession that they begin to identify themselves with it! Studies have now shown that teen depression and teen suicidal tendencies are at its highest ever. This largely due to the pressure of a “false life” on social media.
You see it way too often on the story lines. You see someone you idolise at some prominent restaurant and perhaps take a short video of sipping on some exotic drink with bags of shopping around them. This now seems very ideal; and probably cool to the average teen, who copies this. Only they try and emulate what they saw. Perhaps trying on the newest brand clothing and posting it as if they have just bought it. Another peer sees this and envies this. Perhaps goes to a bespoke bar and takes a snap insinuating that they dine there. This is seen by others who now feel so depressed that they are unable to afford these kind of life styles exhibited by their peers. And so the circle continues. Talking to people “in the know”, social media is still so new that these issues that come along with it is just as new, and our experts have no experience in treating this. Or very little at the moment.
It’s become quite evident how Social Media can take over and how one can allow it to affect them. Taking breaks and also limiting the amount of time you “check” on what’s going on, “checking in” to see what is going on, and “checking new likes and follows”, all will benefit your mental health I assure you. What I have personally realised from this is that when I have a spare moment I usually grab my phone and try catching up.
When I announced that I’d take a break, I deleted every social media application off my phone. This not only takes away temptation to “just quickly check what’s going on”, but also in those moments that you’d forget about your decision. I am so surprised that I have continuously had a couple moments free time and automatically went for my phone to catch up, only to see a void where the apps were – and feeling literally confused and lost. Like what now? What can I do with the time I used to spend on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter?
With most smart phones now; you are able to gauge how much time is spent on your phone, and reminders “to take breaks”.
This break from my virtual reality made me realise that I’m not only “detoxing” from Social Media, I’m freeing up “thinking space” and allowing my creative juices to flow freely. Less human interaction – which in reality exhausted me – and more ME time. Whilst social media is an integral part of what I do; I will from now on take one day completely away from all social media, as well as once a month take a four day break. I’d suggest to anyone and everyone to do the same. Take days completely away from Social Media – to allow your mind a break as well as to connect with nature/family/real life/ hobbies etc. It is so easy to get carried away with this virtual reality. So easy to loose sight of YOU. So easy to get caught up in other people’s (pretend?) lives and neglect your own self.
I spoke to someone recently about what their life purpose is. It has dawned on me that so many people are on the same path of self realisation. Little comments about how suddenly you just don’t feel like putting up with certain energies. How things feel differently. How it has become more common to meditate or stay with people who “gets” you and “vibes” with you. Talking about spiritual growth and awakening. This is such an exciting time to be alive.
Recently I listened to a podcast where they said that imagine we used the jargon above 50/60 years ago. “Hold on Ann, I just need to clean my chakras”. Or “Sorry Steve, I get a bad energy from that crowd so won’t join you tonight”. How about “Frank, please take the Rose Quarts and Amethyst with you when you’re called for national service”.
Truth is that times are changing so rapidly and people are becoming more and more aware how their energies, their vibes and their thought processes influence themselves, their circles around them and their future. And how their attitude, their beliefs and their outlooks can change their present and future circumstances.
Most of all though, how we all have a life purpose. A soul purpose. That all this woo-woo stuff I’m talking about has now been scientifically proven and backed.
So I spoke to this person about our life purpose. About how each of us are destined to (together) change the world and humanity; and they brought up that they are not cut out to stand on a stage and preach or to become some revolutionist. They can’t even talk in front of their family.
But that’s not the point. Like my husband says. It’s all about a little ripple in a pond. When one person is kind, loving and generous to those in their immediate circles, they create a little ripple. This ripple that affects perhaps a handful of people, also inspires those they touch; to do the same. So that one ripple multiplies by several ripples. This has a knock-on affect that then encourages more and more humans to do the same. A little kindness, a little love, a little understanding and a little generosity that eventually becomes a massive wave and affects everyone.
So whilst some of us were born to have a voice in front of the masses and literally be an inspiring presence in the public eye; the rest of us were born to be an inspiration to our close knit friends and families. And perhaps by doing some small act of kindness that changes several other peoples lives and restore some faith in humanity.
I thought I’d reintroduce myself. Last year I wrote a bio for my webpage, and I when people ask for information about me; I refer them back to my bio – however being the person that I am; I’d personally not go and look for my bio 😂. Not because I’m lazy – because I’m too darn busy to scroll through pages. Though I personally think some of my blogs are rather funny and well worth going through.
Who is Alli?
Hi! My name is Allison-Ann Montgomery-Maaske. So in answer to the most common questions:
I am 39 years old, my birthday is on 21 January and I am an Aquarius. Yes, it’s on the cusp – however I am indeed first day of an Aquarius. I am a spiritual being believing that we are the universe and the universe is us. We were created as the universe/God/Almighty Power existing in a human form/life. My full time job is as a model, ambassador for various brands, professional entertainment presence, Life Coach and counsellor.
I am a mum of two (Daughter and Son – 17 and 15), I’m studying part time psychology. I also have qualifications as a professional make-up artist, beautician, certified book keeper, diploma in social media marketing, diploma in photography (entry/beginner), diploma in sports nutrition and in fitness & weight loss.
NOTE: This goes against all writing rules, however this is also practically my CV, therefor all sentences – or nearly all of them – will start with: “I am” #sorrynotsorry
I am very very VERY passionate about equality (aka feminism – however people seem to think that word is the same as sexist, therefore we will stick to equality), empowerment and most of all: HELPING PEOPLE TO HEAL (will get back to this in a moment). I am a public speaker, and have spoken many times in front of pretty big crowds whilst living in England. Yes, I’ve lived in the UK most my adult life. My children are English, though we’ve been in South Africa the past 7 years.
I am a fitness fanatic, health fanatic and advocate for love and kindness. In fact I believe we would have a more harmonious life if we had a fair balance of those four areas. I’m also obsessed with human behaviour…..
But don’t let the diagnoses fool you…
I was diagnosed with several medical conditions through-out my life including Lupus, PCOS, rheumatoid arthritis, and various other lines’. I also have Depression, Anxiety and PTSD. I personally have been a stat/victim of sexual abuse and violence, physical and mental abuse.
I am incredibly grateful for all the above – it created and shaped the person I am. I have a burning desire to help as many people as possible, realise their dreams and passions, assist as many people as possible to achieve their dreams and passions, and most of all help as many people as possible heal from whatever obstacles or challenges they have faced (or currently facing).
My nude modelling is another passion. I have always been comfortable in my skin. Knowing that I am able to express a certain “look” or communicate without saying a single word; through my modelling is beautiful to me. Being your authentic self is beautiful. The human form is incredibly powerful, mechanical, breathtakingly beautiful. That each human was created the same but completely different? Just WOW! That with the help of one gesture; you can communicate love, anger, sadness, excitement, or even erotica.
In saying that,
I do not expect everyone to feel the way I do. I understand that what is liberating to me may be constrictive to another. Therefore I would never expect people to believe that nudity is the only or the right way. However I suppose with my art I’d like to believe that it has shown people that nudity can be beautiful. And to break that stigma of nudity = sex. Or nudity is “attention seeking”.
Now with all of the above – I trust I have given you all the answers to all the common questions I’m usually asked.
One last thing
I LOVE music and books and most of all intellectual conversations.
I think one of the common questions I receive is: “how do you do what you do?”. Which goes hand in hand with “when did you start doing what you’re doing?” as well as “what made you decide to do what you do?”. However the most frequently asked question about me would be: what do you actually do?
Though there is no definitive answer to these questions, I figured I’d tell you a little more about how I happened to get into this profession; what else I do and reply to some of those exciting rumours going around.
You’d be surprised to know that as much as I am a shmodel, I do have a few qualifications and do in fact come from a learned back ground. I am also a dork; and love big words, big books, big subjects and most of all big love.
A few years ago, I made the decision to turn my life around. Always being an outcast; always being different and always battling to fit within the expected norm of society – it took it’s toll and I had to make some changes.
I did a fun shoot for a friend, and after was approach by another photographer to do a fun lifestyle and boudoir shoot. I was really flattered as I never saw myself pretty enough to do any such shoots, let alone good enough to be approach by a pro photographer. During that shoot, I had no problem getting changed in front of this particular photographer, who later asked if I would be willing to shoot nude, which in all fairness was a pretty liberating thought; however being from a corporate background and married with children, I declined. Why? Because of the fear of what others would say and think.
Fast forward a couple years when I had shot with various photographers (mostly amateurs) and started posing nude more often.
I was at work the one day and realised how wasted my life was. Getting up each day, dreading what I did, dreading the people at the financial firm, dreading contacting my network of people having to do meetings when I’d much rather sit and chat to them about their lives – rather than selling them the next “exclusive investment”. In the interim I also co-owned a separate business assisting people to invest in a diverse portfolio of investments (currency, precious metals, property, crypto etc)
I lost my rag a couple times at the office and one day Marc our senior manager called myself and a colleague in for a “chat” about performances etc. Marc was really lovely about my , non performance, yet I decided right there and then that I will not return or fight or beg. I phoned my husband and the decision to quit my corporate life was then made.
**I still have a financial company in which I am a silent partner, and still assist people investing in anything but fiat currency**
My vision and passion
I started investing more of my time (no pun intended) in photoshoots and created a website. Working alongside professional photographers, I have created a vast portfolio of images that have since been used and sold for marketing, art, sketching, advertising etc. Since this decision was made I have started to mentor younger models and fitness athletes as well as young individuals in various aspects of their lives to achieve their goals. I am a life coach and busy studying psychology to become a trauma counsellor.
Along with the above you may call me a serial networker, influencer and artist. My business now extends to assisting companies and brands with their marketing through my contacts and models/athletes.
Those Tellers of Tall Tales
Rumours will always be around. You simply cannot be in my industry if you do not have a thick skin. One thing I have made peace with, is the fact that you as the viewer and reader will make up your own mind. Whether I take my clothes off (and therefor a “porn star”), or whether I create something beautiful on film: is an opinion you have that I do not control. My aim is to create something beautiful visually. And furthermore to show others that they can “start over” – at any age. You are not limited to what you can do and when you can do this.
My personal goals are to inspire as many people as possible and to make a positive difference in their lives.
I do socialise a lot and therefore I will always be seen with several people. This does not mean I am romantically involved with them. I have two children one of which is at Uni studying art, and the other being gifted as he is; is at home school and a junior SA gymnast. Both are successful and driven children and both are very proud of me.
My family are all very proud of me. Some of them are very religious and others are not. They are my biggest fans and accept what I do just as they would accept another person in a different industry.
If you would like any information on any of the services I offer; feel free to mail me on: [email protected]