I spoke to someone recently about what their life purpose is. It has dawned on me that so many people are on the same path of self realisation. Little comments about how suddenly you just don’t feel like putting up with certain energies. How things feel differently. How it has become more common to meditate or stay with people who “gets” you and “vibes” with you. Talking about spiritual growth and awakening. This is such an exciting time to be alive.
Recently I listened to a podcast where they said that imagine we used the jargon above 50/60 years ago. “Hold on Ann, I just need to clean my chakras”. Or “Sorry Steve, I get a bad energy from that crowd so won’t join you tonight”. How about “Frank, please take the Rose Quarts and Amethyst with you when you’re called for national service”.
Truth is that times are changing so rapidly and people are becoming more and more aware how their energies, their vibes and their thought processes influence themselves, their circles around them and their future. And how their attitude, their beliefs and their outlooks can change their present and future circumstances.
Most of all though, how we all have a life purpose. A soul purpose. That all this woo-woo stuff I’m talking about has now been scientifically proven and backed.
So I spoke to this person about our life purpose. About how each of us are destined to (together) change the world and humanity; and they brought up that they are not cut out to stand on a stage and preach or to become some revolutionist. They can’t even talk in front of their family.
But that’s not the point. Like my husband says. It’s all about a little ripple in a pond. When one person is kind, loving and generous to those in their immediate circles, they create a little ripple. This ripple that affects perhaps a handful of people, also inspires those they touch; to do the same. So that one ripple multiplies by several ripples. This has a knock-on affect that then encourages more and more humans to do the same. A little kindness, a little love, a little understanding and a little generosity that eventually becomes a massive wave and affects everyone.
So whilst some of us were born to have a voice in front of the masses and literally be an inspiring presence in the public eye; the rest of us were born to be an inspiration to our close knit friends and families. And perhaps by doing some small act of kindness that changes several other peoples lives and restore some faith in humanity.
I have been quiet, I know. I’m not sorry though. The past year was a toughie. Not just on me…I know a lot of us have had to face demons, stumbling blocks and other challenges. It’s been a goodie and a baddie. We have seen the end of so many wicked ways and the beginning of new chapters. Alone time – alot of it – is needed. And if you are not making time to be alone and work on your heart and mind, then I’m afraid the challenges will continue.
Personally, the hardest part of some of the challenges was griefing – when someone was still alive (not that it is easier when someone pass). PTSD; when something rocked your world so hard, yet it was such an unobvious event to have caused such trauma. I’m not just talking of my own experiences, I know that many of us have faced this.
During this same period, many people have searched inwards too. Questioning life and the way things are. A true awakening or consciousness. Becoming aware of what’s hurt or broken within themselves or within the world, and the deeper realisation that we are all responsible to make a difference or change.
I’ve loved and despised this journey – my anxiety and depression rolling to and fro in waves. My autoimmune disease teasing at the tip op my front door. My chronic fatigue taunting me every so many hours. This has however taught me how friggen strong and stubborn I am. That my love for my children and my determination and will, to be successful and to continue to run successful business’ is stronger than all the mental and physical games I’ve glanced at yet not succumbed to.
The biggest challenges or lessons for me is being vulnerable and letting go. Letting go of the past, and letting go of the hurt. And following that; allowing myself to be vulnerable.
This is to remind you that you will be okay. Do not give up on yourself, or your goals. Do not be so hard on yourself. Stop resisting the lessons and curveballs the universe is throwing at you. Instead, acknowledge it and ask yourself – what am I meant to learn from this? Go easy on yourself, make yourself a priority, and most of all smile!!!
A few years back, when I began my journey within the modelling industry, family and friends made insinuation to the fact that I’m “doing porn”. It was then quite a shock to me and of course I was amused but also hurt that they didn’t see what I was doing, was another form expression, art or modelling.
I have since then begun to realise that there are rather a few people that may not know the difference between all the genres. This has never been more clear than when I look at some of the comments and messages that we as models receive on social media. Of course, I am very vocal about that topic too 😂
Recently I ran a poll on Instagram asking whether people knew the difference between Implied Nude, Nude, Glamour, Boudoir, Erotic and pornography? The results shocked me a little, as 56% claimed that they know the difference. Here’s the thing though… after contacting a select few who said that knew the difference, it was very clear that they didn’t. I asked a couple simple questions and the answers were all very confusing.
Implied Nude vs Nude
Implied nude photos suggests nudity however Implied Nude you are unable to see breasts, genitals or buttocks. Many photographers would also argue that “Implied Nude” is a pose in which the model poses in such a fashion that it allows the viewer to guess whether the model has clothes on or not. Therefore “implying” it may be nude. Where as with Nude modelling you are blatantly naked. This form of photography is especially popular for fine art, bodyscaping and contemporary photography. The idea with nude modelling is expression and setting. The objective is NOT sexual, rather the beauty of the setting and pose.
Glamour vs Boudoir
Think Hustler, Playboy and the page 3 models…That would be summed up as glamour photography. When you’re taking an image and want to seduce the viewer, without sexual movements, gestures or acts. Glamour would mostly be accepted as the model “charming” the viewer. Boudoir on the other hand has more of a focus on lingerie and usually in the bedroom as a setting and a private affair. Boudoir is also a very popular gift idea for couples for one another. It’s sensual and romantic, and usually intended for the private enjoyment of his or her partner. The difference would therefor be that boudoir would usually be for the couple at home whereas glamour would be a posed model.
Erotic vs Pornography
This is where a lot of people also get confused. Both have artistic elements to it and both are sexually intended. Erotic, erotic art and erotic fine art is sexually suggestive or sexually provocative. This would usually be shot with or without clothing and could have props. Some examples may include fruit or plants or an object in front/ontop/inside genitals or the body, it could also perhaps be suggestive of sex or sexual pleasure WITHOUT the actual deed. Whereas pornography is a staged set up scene where one or more person is pleasuring themselves/one another with the intent to arouse the viewer. Pornography photography is sexually explicit; there is no subtlety to the image – they are plain, unshadowed and naively detailed.
Side Note on Pornography
For a long while – and especially in South Africa where we live in such conservative circumstances – people seem to associate nudity with SEX, PORNOGRAPHY and DISRESPECT. We are brought up believing that our nakedness is shameful, it is tasteless and oh so sinful!! *GASP* However I firmly believe this is where we are going wrong! Think about it. It is human nature to wonder about what we are not “allowed to have or allowed to do”. It is also human nature to have sex. To procreate. Now tell a human who’s DNA is designed to have sex, that it is filthy and dirty and anything suggesting it may be sin, evil and horrible! This is just a recipe for deceit, for secrecy and for unhealthy obsessions. For centuries women and men have had different mating methods or rather how to attract one another for that very (natural and normal) reason.
During 1839, French artist Louis Daguerre’s invention of the photograph, known as the daguerreotype, which transformed the availability and realism of sexual imagery. Thereafter this industry became one of the biggest and fastest-growing. Each human adolescent start asking questions about sex and inevitably look for and sneak some kind of pornography to see more and find out more. This rush of having to do this secretly doesn’t really go away for most. In fact it feeds the creative mind and our fantasies. And what better way then to quench this with some saucy ideas that you and your partner may never consider talking about let alone try; via some pornography? I mean it can’t be sin if it is not you doing it? It can’t be wrong if you just happen to “see it”. Just don’t openly admit to it and pull a face of disgust in front of your family when you do see it ;). And when you see a pretty girl in a pair of lacy knickers looking oh so sultry back at you, and it evokes some kind of stirring – shout out PORN!
Because let’s face it, if we were all comfortable with our sexuality, and with our bodies, and didn’t feel the need to ask our creator for forgiveness when we appreciate another human’s expression, beauty and abilities – we would all value the art of human photography. Let it be known though; as Dita Von Teese says: you could be the juiciest, ripest, sweetest peach in the world and there would be someone who doesn’t like peaches; just the same with any art and photography. Modesty empowers some as nudity empowers others.
Boudoir Fusion Photographyhave extensive experience within most of these genres of photography. They have helped many couples capture special intimate moments as well as assisted companies with branding, marketing and editorial pieces for published magazines.
Have you ever wondered what goes on in my DM’s? Of
course, you have! Or you could only imagine or assume right?
Doing what I’m doing one would naturally assume that you
attract all kinds of attention. Personally, it doesn’t bother me. From my
understanding; it is human nature to get excited, intrigued, even mesmerised by
something that is considered taboo in our day to day lives. To follow someone
that so flamboyantly comfortable to expose so much skin; to become so
comfortably sensual in the public eye, is certainly not “normal” in society.
Here are a few of the DM’s that I have received – and saved. I will be keeping it anonymous. Should you see one of your DM’s here; please don’t take offense.
Please also note that there are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. Not mine. Theirs
Follower: You are a stunner, and you are a flirt too
Me: Thank you for the compliment
Follower: Why do you flirt when you are married?
Me: No, I think you confuse the two. When someone is
friendly and when someone is flirting
Follower: The Question being, why are you so flirty?
Me: I’m really happy to have met you. And thank you for
the lovely compliments. I am happily married and would never dream of screwing
up my relationship of 18 years. I have always been the way I am.
Some people get it, some don’t. You don’t need to get it.
Follower: You are avoiding the question of being flirty….a
simple yes or no
Follower: Cool, nice meeting you
Me: have a great day 😊
Mr Big Bucks
Follower: How are you?
Follower: I will give you R5000 to talk to me
Follower: I’ll take that as a no…Bye now….Don’t have time
for people who waste my time
Follower: Hi Alli
Follower: Hi, I love your photos
Me: Thank you so much, and thank you for your support
Follower: Sweet so send a sexy selfie
Follower: It’s a pleasure but send sume sexy selfie of
you self (exactly how that was typed)
Me: You are welcome to look at any of my images on my
Follower: But u my send me sume plz hun
Follower: What r u up to now
Me: I think you have the wrong impression of me. I’m at
home with my husband and children 😊
Follower: No I don’t. Send me a selfie of u now plz
(Here I sent him three images of a hairy elderly
Me: What is wrong?
Follower: Do you have a nice bush hiding inside your
Me: Do you speak to your mum like that?
Follower: You are not my mum
Me: Thank heavens for that!! I’d be mortified if I was!
Follower: So do you have a nice bush in hiding?
Me: What is your name and where do you live?
Follower: How about a full body pic?
Me: What is your name and where do you live?
Follower: Tom Oliver Florida
Me: Oh fabulous Tom. Shall I tag your real name when I
*this contact does not exist*
Follower: Sexy girl
Follower: You are so hot
Follower: I want to F**k you
Taking a chance?
Follower: Do you still do shoots?
Me: Good morning XXXX, yes I do 😊
Follower: Are you on whatsapp please
Follower: Alli still waiting to pay you please
Me: Pay me for?
Follower: A shoot we want you in please
Me: I will send my rates shortly. Who is “we”?
Follower: XXXX from world mag. Are you on whatsapp
Me: Insert his profile image which is blank.
Me: Aaaaaaah I thought I recognised you!!!
Follower: Me. What have I done?
Me: Apologies but I do not give my number out.
Me: Nothing at all. You don’t have a profile picture
Me: Insert my rates and Z card
Follower: But we still need your number for our system i
keep to myself
Follower: We have better rates
Me: That’s amazing. Please feel free to email my agent
Follower: Why not chat direct to u
Me: Insert agent email address
Follower: Pay u 9k bikini 15k topless and 25k nude
Me: No worries. Sounds great
Follower: It is for world mag a uk company
Me: Please send your company details including company
registration, address and telephone number to Insert agent email address
Follower: Again still need u number u can delete again
Me: Inclusive of all the details
Me: You may email the details to my agent so that we can
ensure this is legit
Me: This is unfortunately my terms.
I then research the name of the magazine and
google comes up with “WORLD magazine – Today’s Christian Views and Christain
News”. I take screen shot and post it to him
Follower: Our sister company
Follower: I know you are married
Me: Your sister company is a Christian magazine? And you
need me to pose nude?
I’m sorry, I have NEVER done business over “whatsapp”. I
have never accepted 25K offer over messenger.
You do not have a profile photo.
You have no photos
You tell me you work for a Christian magazine’s sister
company but you want me to do nude shoots.
Please supply me with your office number so that I can
speak to you and verify your existence.
Follower: I will
Me: Of course you will 😊 Have a great day scammer
Follower: *insert Eggplant and splash emoji’s*
Follower: Good morning wow
Follower: Hey there
Follower: Do you know what a c*m shot is?
Me: do you know what respect is?
Let’s just try (1)
Follower: Hi, what else could u do besides nude shoots?
Me: I am a full time model 😊
Follower: So if I pay you for escort services?
Me: Then I’d would suggest you look for an escort agency
Follower: If I were to ask you out on a date?
Me: Then I’d say noJ
Follower: Thanks for the morning glory
Follower: U made my day
Follower: *insert heart emoji*
Follower: R you realy gonna just leave me with this hard
on, and nothing to do with it?
Me: Yes I am.
Because number one I am not a sex worker nor a
Number two I am married
Number three I do not mingle with individuals who cannot
Follower: My bad
Let’s just Try (2)
Follower: But now we can be friends yeah?
Follower: Can we? Tell me coz I’m in suspense
Follower: May I ask, do your tattoos have any meanings?
Follower: U wanna bang or what now?
Follower: You never told me about your tattoos
Follower: *inserts an image of one of my tattoos*
Follower: So you fill on with shit?
Me: Do you eat food with that filthy mouth?
Follower: No man! I didn’t mean it in a kuk way I’m just saying
Follower: Can I give you my number?
Follower: Can you give me yours?
Follower: I really wanna f**k you
Follower: Come now how much u gonna cost me?
Follower: You never told me about your tattoos
Follower: Like ur skin is so fine, to tat it looks cool
for sure, gives me a boner n stuff but, does it resemble anything?
Follower: Like snoopy is better than a butterfly
Follower: Wouldn’t you agree?M
Follower: How much for a naked art photo shoot with you?
Follower: You must pay me Im willing to pose naked next
Me: That’s kind of you however I have plenty male models.
Thank you for the offer 😊
Follower: K cant I do one free bee with you guys will
even pay for it photo shoot please. How much will you ask? Wont go viral uncensored
please I just want to pose naked next to babe love the art of being naked even
shaved my pubs clean for it
Follower: how much for a naked with you?
Me: I appreciate your support thank you
Follower: What is the price?
Follower: must I send you a naked pic of my body? To see I
Me: No please don’t
Follower: K but I’m only 33 still love your naked pic just
to bad you have to blur it out on Instagram why you don’t use twitter no cover
up on twitter
Follower: geez Im not doing it for money or any sex just
asking to pose naked with you guys and girls for one day Im also a borned
Follower: Leave it then if I have to pay for my naked
body to be on somecover
Follower: going full nude if you like it or not!
Follower: Sorry I was drunk last night, I wasn’t thinking.
My bad M
Follower: Hi there
Follower: how r u
I have decided to screenshot and save all strange, rude
and amusing DM’s I receive. People automatically assume the worst or extreme.
Instead of retaliating I usually respond with as much patience and kindness as
possible. It is not always possible, however hopefully it does affect them in
I have plenty more, however have realised that I’d be losing
some of the audience with all the drivel. Perhaps I will post more soon.
I am often asked how my children feel about what I do.
There are some who have even suggested that what I do may
“scar” my daughter. “Have you thought about the implications of what you do,
would have on her?”
This is for you….
In a world today; where it is easier to buy your daughter
a princess outfit – show her how she already is a princess and to accept
nothing less from anyone.
In a world today; where it is easier for an opportunist to
“pass the buck” and blame circumstances or other people for their behaviour and
mistakes – show her to take responsibility for her own actions and decisions,
to learn from them and not to make them gain.
In a world today; where people will tell you to dress in
a certain way to be socially accepted or not to “draw unnecessary attention” –
be YOURSELF and wear whatever the hell you want to.
Rather than telling your daughter that she should respect
herself and love herself, show her how to do this by doing it
yourself. Stop staring in that mirror with disapproval. Stop saying out loud
that you are fat. Stop comparing yourself to other women. All of that?? That is
all SEEN by your little girl….absorbed….and that is you teaching her NOT to
Rather than talking about what others may think…show
your daughter that self-respect starts with you believing in yourself – no matter
what others think. To stand up for your own beliefs – no matter what others
Strong and Empowered
You know what our world needs? More strong and empowering
women who backs one another. That encourages one another. Who believes in one
Less gossiping. Less discussing and unpacking each other’s
Who cares what she wore?
Who cares whether she made effort with make-up?
Who cares whether she’s a size 20 or a size 4?
The best feeling in the world is knowing that there are
others who have your back. That you can conquer the world because there’s a
tribe of women that will always be by your side. You know what is better than
that? Being one of those women.
How do we create such a system? By being those women and our
daughters SEEING it, EXPERIENCING it.
My daughter has been brought up in an environment that
there is no pressure to look a certain way.
That loving yourself has nothing to do with how much or
how little clothing you have on, at any given time. That being beautiful does
not mean that you have to be a certain way, or look a certain way. That being
lady means that you believe in yourself and in others. Being a lady means that
you are generous in giving love and kindness – not whether you have clothes on
That people will always have an opinion – and that is
okay; that is their prerogative. People will judge. That’s human. It is not for
us to return that sadness, nor judge them for feeling the way they do.
My daughter has been brought up; knowing that she is
entitled to respect and love – regardless of what and how much (or little) she
decides to wear. No one has the right to decide what she wants or deserves –
regardless of what and how much (or little) she wears.
Some people are comfortable nude.
Some people are comfortable being modest.
That is okay.
Your body is your temple
And you should be proud of your body. You live in it, you
have the tools to look after it. And that would shine brighter than words. Only
then will your daughter believe it.
She will become a self-loving, strong, empowering woman that
is kind and loving. She will be a lady
that will touch many people’s hearts and souls – and it will have nothing to do
with what she wears (or not wear)
How does my career affect my daughter?
She has learned that she’s beautiful when she accepts
She has learned that she’s strong and independent without
She has learned that self-respect starts with looking after herself.
She is learning that standing up for yourself is more rewarding
than nodding along with the masses.
She is very proud of what I do and the woman I am; and I
am humbled that I have the young independent and strong woman I see in my
How does my career affect my son?
He has learned that no matter what – you respect another human. Especially women. They are all goddesses. They are all worthy of love, worthy of kindness and worthy of being treated with respect. That they are a man’s right hand – and his heartbeat.