Your Understanding vs My Reality

Your Understanding vs My Reality

Many a times I am asked the strangest questions; (strange to me) about what I do – or I hear the assumptions and can’t help but have a giggle.

To understand what I do, is to understand why I am doing what I do first. Have I lost you? What I mean is that when you look at my work, my posts on Instagram and my website; there is a general assumption as to what I do without realising what I actually do.

In the past I’ve received private messages on Social Media…

Asking for explicit images of me sometimes posing in suggestive ways. Usually this amuses me; and I always ask what gave them the idea that I’d do that or that I’m a porn star. And usually the response would be that I shouldn’t get offended as I am the one “asking for it” by posting nude images of myself. My first question would usually be : where did I show my genitals and second question : where do I pleasure myself.

You see, we as humans, and we as society have been lied to for so many years that we actually believe that the human body is a dirty, sinful thing when not covered with fabric. We have taught generations of children to be ashamed of themselves. To be embarrassed with what we were born with. That evil creatures will lurk around any corner and will pounce on you for showing a little too much skin. That there would be justification for those acts! You asked for it after all by “exposing” some of what you were born with!!

I was asked in a recent interview what I’d tell anyone who condemns what I do or brand my work as pornography. The difficult thing is that I cannot change society’s mind single handily. I do however believe that if we brought our children up to love their own bodies, and not to be ashamed of their bodies, that we respect each other’s naked bodies – not by hiding it but accepting it as natural and normal. Not to sexualise nudity and skin; that it would solve so many of our crimes and the worlds issues today.

Think about it…

There would be less sexual crimes, less depression due to self esteem issues, less self harm and eating disorders. Imagine a world with more confidence and acceptance of one self? We would have so much more success in every business sector! So many more people would achieve their dreams and optimum productivity!

Captured by Boudoir Fusion Photography

I digress. Years ago when I posed for a boudoir shoot, and whilst changing outfits, the photographer of the day asked whether he could take a shot (picture) of me. My back was facing him and I was dressed in only my knickers. I felt a little shy yet intrigued. I’ve never really had an issue with being naked; yet I’ve never actually thought of being photographed naked.

Once I got changed into my next outfit the photographer showed me on the LCD viewer what he had taken of me whilst topless. It was a gorgeous shot. It summed up to me; what I see in women. Soft, elegant, warm, feminine, sensual, love, beauty all in one. I was amazed that THAT was me! And so I was happy to shoot implied nude. After realising that this not only motivated me to share the beauty of a woman, but also to encourage other women – who do not have self confidence – that they are in fact beautiful in their own skin!

After a few months of shooting boudoir and implied nude; I met Peter from Boudoir Fusion Photography who took my first bodyscape images and I was blown away! Never mind that the images I was looking at; was of me!!! However; the human body is so darn beautiful. And every other bodyscape that Peter have done, took my breath away. I quickly learned that my art, my expression through my modelling and the images taken by me, can show emotion and can evoke emotion.

When you look at my work…

I would like to believe that most people see past the ‘nakedness’. That you notice the colours, the shapes, the textures in the images. That you are able to feel or notice whether there is sorrow, or happiness. Whether the image is more of a fine art piece to be hung on a wall of a surgeons office, or something that could be looked at or admired from your mobile phone screen, used in an advertising campaign empowering women, or used as a PC screensaver. That you can believe that I’m more than a ‘naked woman’; someone who at the age of 39 believes wholeheartedly that ANYONE can love themselves and is art. That anyone – no matter what your age, your size or your background – can love the skin that they are in. That nudity DOES NOT equal sexuality.

I love modelling, photography and matters of the heart and mind. I love art. I love the human body. Combine all of these; and you will find what I do. This is only the beginning…

What I do

What I do


Image captured by Daniel Craig Johnson

How it started

I think one of the common questions I receive is: “how do you do what you do?”. Which goes hand in hand with “when did you start doing what you’re doing?” as well as “what made you decide to do what you do?”. However the most frequently asked question about me would be: what do you actually do?

Though there is no definitive answer to these questions, I figured I’d tell you a little more about how I happened to get into this profession; what else I do and reply to some of those exciting rumours going around.

You’d be surprised to know that as much as I am a shmodel, I do have a few qualifications and do in fact come from a learned back ground. I am also a dork; and love big words, big books, big subjects and most of all big love.

A few years ago, I made the decision to turn my life around. Always being an outcast; always being different and always battling to fit within the expected norm of society – it took it’s toll and I had to make some changes.

I did a fun shoot for a friend, and after was approach by another photographer to do a fun lifestyle and boudoir shoot. I was really flattered as I never saw myself pretty enough to do any such shoots, let alone good enough to be approach by a pro photographer. During that shoot, I had no problem getting changed in front of this particular photographer, who later asked if I would be willing to shoot nude, which in all fairness was a pretty liberating thought; however being from a corporate background and married with children, I declined. Why? Because of the fear of what others would say and think.

Goodbye Corporate

Fast forward a couple years when I had shot with various photographers (mostly amateurs) and started posing nude more often.

I was at work the one day and realised how wasted my life was. Getting up each day, dreading what I did, dreading the people at the financial firm, dreading contacting my network of people having to do meetings when I’d much rather sit and chat to them about their lives – rather than selling them the next “exclusive investment”. In the interim I also co-owned a separate business assisting people to invest in a diverse portfolio of investments (currency, precious metals, property, crypto etc)

I lost my rag a couple times at the office and one day Marc our senior manager called myself and a colleague in for a “chat” about performances etc. Marc was really lovely about my , non performance, yet I decided right there and then that I will not return or fight or beg. I phoned my husband and the decision to quit my corporate life was then made.

**I still have a financial company in which I am a silent partner, and still assist people investing in anything but fiat currency**

Image captured by Daniel Craig Johnson

My vision and passion

I started investing more of my time (no pun intended) in photoshoots and created a website. Working alongside professional photographers, I have created a vast portfolio of images that have since been used and sold for marketing, art, sketching, advertising etc. Since this decision was made I have started to mentor younger models and fitness athletes as well as young individuals in various aspects of their lives to achieve their goals. I am a life coach and busy studying psychology to become a trauma counsellor.

Along with the above you may call me a serial networker, influencer and artist. My business now extends to assisting companies and brands with their marketing through my contacts and models/athletes.

Those Tellers of Tall Tales

Rumours will always be around. You simply cannot be in my industry if you do not have a thick skin. One thing I have made peace with, is the fact that you as the viewer and reader will make up your own mind. Whether I take my clothes off (and therefor a “porn star”), or whether I create something beautiful on film: is an opinion you have that I do not control. My aim is to create something beautiful visually. And furthermore to show others that they can “start over” – at any age. You are not limited to what you can do and when you can do this.

My personal goals are to inspire as many people as possible and to make a positive difference in their lives.

I do socialise a lot and therefore I will always be seen with several people. This does not mean I am romantically involved with them. I have two children one of which is at Uni studying art, and the other being gifted as he is; is at home school and a junior SA gymnast. Both are successful and driven children and both are very proud of me.

My family are all very proud of me. Some of them are very religious and others are not. They are my biggest fans and accept what I do just as they would accept another person in a different industry.

If you would like any information on any of the services I offer; feel free to mail me on: [email protected]