Here we go again…

Here we go again…

I feel like this is a “ground dog day” story. The same record is getting stuck on the same spot again. I mean gosh, how many times have I moaned and bitched about Instagram removing not only perfectly censored posts or content that fall well within their rules and guidelines; but also disabling my accounts. I have to date lost 4 Instagram accounts. And due to their computer automated or rather artificial intelligence systems and programmes – you hardly know whether a human would ever even look or address any concerns or complaints.

The worst part about all of this is that content creators such as myself are unfairly targeted for posting images that clearly on their pages states what it is, and adhere to the rules. YET we as women receive unsolicited images from strangers daily, and we report it. And nothing is ever done. NOTHING. You can report it several times over and it will stay. The person gets away with sexual abuse. OR these fake accounts that use your account name and steal your content to attract traffic to fake membership accounts. You keep repeatedly reporting it, and of course, you’re able to prove your identity or the legitimate owner of the account, yet those accounts stay.

I think the first part of 2021 alone my account was removed 5 times? Maybe 7 times? I have had to appeal each time and yet they would keep the old “offensive” content (which they agreed was NOT breaking any of their rules) on your violation list. Therefore, every time some very sour or jealous, or conservative person reports my content I would immediately be disabled. Each time it would take approximately 3 weeks for them to have a look at the appeal and up to 30 days to decide on whether they should disable the account or not.

Looking back over the years, this is utter nonsense as surely from a legal perspective they are not providing the service they mention they aim to. There is nothing about this that is “fair” nor “protecting the diverse user”. Children are legally not allowed on Instagram – their legal age limit is 13. As for religious or cultural groups, this is where we as adults can decide what we choose to see and/or follow and what we do not want to – surely? The fact of the matter remains that I can only foresee that female content creators such as myself will have this challenge forever really. As this corporation seems to be stuck in its ways. Which is rather curious right? It’s the biggest business yet they don’t have anyone to assist? Bizarre…or maybe that is just the excuse.

I have personally spent HOURS on building my brand and my business only to go through this stressful and depressing process several times a year. Each time when I have to appeal I have to sell my case to Instagram: this is a business. “This is my business and I make an income from it. You are withholding my tools to create my income. You are not looking nor attending to any of my concerns.”

Leading up to this latest occasion of my main account being disabled at 27K followers; I reported repeatedly that someone is purposely sabotaging my account. That someone is vindictively going out to report all of my work, which all fall within the rules and guidelines. I have to date not had a single reply nor assistance with regards to the 100’s of reports sent to Instagram requesting help.

A little while back I asked whether someone knew anyone at the Facebook corp that I can reach out to. I had one follower that pointed me in the right direction, however, FB refuse to deal with the public nor address any of the concerns. I suppose it is no new news the corporation is a political entity all by itself that basically can do whatever the hell they want to as legally no one can really touch them. Which is rather sad. And the reality is that as much as I despise their double standards and their prejudice, I still need the platform to drive traffic to my various sites.

Onwards and upwards I suppose. Until we have a team of people that has the hutzpah to take a stand against Instagram/Facebook, we will have to keep putting up with this nonsense. So here’s to rebuilding my following and hoping and praying that my main account will return. And of course, it will mean that I will yet again go through the content and remove anything that is remotely “too sexy” or reveals a little too much skin for a woman.

Follow my work on instagram.com/allicattie_backup or look at the rest of my link on linktr.ee/allicattie

What is a “real woman”

What is a “real woman”

Every Women’s Month we are reminded – more than usual – how we as women need to stand up and rise. How us as women should go for our goals and dreams. How we should all stand up for one another and empower each other. We are reminded of the current femicide; the gender inequality that we face and the sexual violence and attacks on us women and on children. It’s amazing to see how more and more women do indeed embrace themselves and start standing up for one another. From a personal point of view I’ve always felt that we can all win. There is no “competition”.

Over the last little while I have however noticed how easy it is for women to throw around the “men-are-trash” terms and love to jump onto that bandwagon when it suits them; however some of the same women would post: “A real women would never…” or the whole body-shaming and slut-shaming thing. One can only deduct that this type of opinions would certainly be of those how have not felt adequate enough or perhaps even insecure themselves. I’d really love to know how any of these ladies actually stand up for other women and cheer for them – regardless if it’s something they would personally do or not do.

I find it ironic how many of these ladies demand respect and recognition for being a Queen. For being empowered and independent; yet have no problem pointing out the unruliness of another empowered woman. When another woman’s courage becomes a “vanity” problem; or someone’s self-confidence is suddenly highlighted as “no self-respect”. Earlier this evening I read on a lady’s post that “real women do not need the validation from other people, therefore, they do not seek attention by wearing little clothing”. Is that not just loaded with “I wish I could be brave enough to dress whichever way I want to and not care what others think whilst winning”?

This leads me to the two questions: 1. Since when has the amount of clothing made you more or less successful invalidating your own feelings or your self worth? 2. How does the amount of clothing you wear or the amount of skin make you less or more valuable as an individual? How does said woman praise and shout for women empowerment yet at the same time shoot any lady down that shows a little more skin than she would dare? This also sounds like the very same woman that may just say that the amount of clothing you wear would be equal to the amount of respect you earn/deserve.

Recently I have discussed the numbers of women who are raped in South Africa per annum (note that due to the number of cases that are not reported; it is not possible to give a correct number of possible rapes per hour/day/month/year) and consequently to that the number of gender-based violence.

Population-based surveys show very high levels of intimate partner violence (IPV) and non-partner sexual violence (SV) in particular, with IPV being the most common form of violence against women.

  • Whilst people of all genders perpetrate and experience intimate partner and or sexual violence, men are most often the perpetrators and women and children the victims
  • More than half of all the women murdered (56%) in 2009 were killed by an intimate male partner
  • Between 25% and 40% of South African women have experienced sexual and/or physical IPV (intimate partner violence) in their lifetime
  • Just under 50% of women report having ever experienced emotional or economic abuse at the hands of their intimate partners in their lifetime
  • Prevalence estimates of rape in South Africa range between 12% and 28% of women ever reporting being raped in their lifetime
  • Between 28 and 37% of adult men report having raped a woman
  • Non-partner SV is particularly common, but reporting to the police is very low. One study found that one in 13 women in Gauteng had reported non-partner rape, and only one in 25  rapes had been reported to the police
  • South Africa also faces a high prevalence of gang rape
  • Most men who rape do so for the first time as teenagers and almost all men who ever rape do so by their mid-20s
  • There is limited research into rape targeting women who have sex with women. One study across four Southern African countries, including South Africa, found that 31.1% of women reported having experienced forced sex
  • Male victims of rape are another under-studied group. One survey in KwaZulu-Natal and the Eastern Cape found that 9.6% of men reported having experienced sexual victimisation by another man

What the stats above do not show are the number of women who are verbally or psychologically abused by other women. How people are targeted, bullied and called out on social media for the way they live their life or for what they choose to post about themselves on social media. How women would rather band together and stand up with other men; slut-shaming women who post selfies and/or “sexy” images on social media, than standing up for those women. It’s easy to say “men-are-trash” when a guy makes a funny by posting a “women belong in the kitchen” joke, yet it is okay to agree with the same guy calling out another woman who has found self-confidence and enjoys posting about herself/her outfit/her weight gain or loss/her sock and shoes/the food she eats/the competition she took part in etc etc. One of the latest repetitive posts I see is “I’m so tired of all these selfies with quotes and all you see is bum and boobs” or “show me a real woman who does not feel like she needs validation or attention from the whole world by showing off her body”. What does that even mean? What makes a woman a “real” woman?

I feel our country specifically is facing a tough time. Apart from the global economical damage that we are facing, the all-time high unemployment rate that is continually rising and our own government’s crimes and corruption; we are facing a particular tricky era where we as women are rising. Standing up against the oppression of what our fore-mothers faced. We are in an incredible era where we as women have more of a voice than ever before. Yet here you are, spitting on another queen who’s rising in her own time on her own terms in her own way. Standing with all the aggression against other women. What kind of empowerment are you after? Why demand equality, justice and empowerment when you stand up and laugh other women down. Calling them out for believing in themselves? Knocking them down for owning who they are? What is a “real woman”? One who can clap for another woman, without judgement, without malice and without misogyny.

What is a “real woman”

Your Understanding vs My Reality

Many a times I am asked the strangest questions; (strange to me) about what I do – or I hear the assumptions and can’t help but have a giggle.

To understand what I do, is to understand why I am doing what I do first. Have I lost you? What I mean is that when you look at my work, my posts on Instagram and my website; there is a general assumption as to what I do without realising what I actually do.

In the past I’ve received private messages on Social Media…

Asking for explicit images of me sometimes posing in suggestive ways. Usually this amuses me; and I always ask what gave them the idea that I’d do that or that I’m a porn star. And usually the response would be that I shouldn’t get offended as I am the one “asking for it” by posting nude images of myself. My first question would usually be : where did I show my genitals and second question : where do I pleasure myself.

You see, we as humans, and we as society have been lied to for so many years that we actually believe that the human body is a dirty, sinful thing when not covered with fabric. We have taught generations of children to be ashamed of themselves. To be embarrassed with what we were born with. That evil creatures will lurk around any corner and will pounce on you for showing a little too much skin. That there would be justification for those acts! You asked for it after all by “exposing” some of what you were born with!!

I was asked in a recent interview what I’d tell anyone who condemns what I do or brand my work as pornography. The difficult thing is that I cannot change society’s mind single handily. I do however believe that if we brought our children up to love their own bodies, and not to be ashamed of their bodies, that we respect each other’s naked bodies – not by hiding it but accepting it as natural and normal. Not to sexualise nudity and skin; that it would solve so many of our crimes and the worlds issues today.

Think about it…

There would be less sexual crimes, less depression due to self esteem issues, less self harm and eating disorders. Imagine a world with more confidence and acceptance of one self? We would have so much more success in every business sector! So many more people would achieve their dreams and optimum productivity!

Captured by Boudoir Fusion Photography

I digress. Years ago when I posed for a boudoir shoot, and whilst changing outfits, the photographer of the day asked whether he could take a shot (picture) of me. My back was facing him and I was dressed in only my knickers. I felt a little shy yet intrigued. I’ve never really had an issue with being naked; yet I’ve never actually thought of being photographed naked.

Once I got changed into my next outfit the photographer showed me on the LCD viewer what he had taken of me whilst topless. It was a gorgeous shot. It summed up to me; what I see in women. Soft, elegant, warm, feminine, sensual, love, beauty all in one. I was amazed that THAT was me! And so I was happy to shoot implied nude. After realising that this not only motivated me to share the beauty of a woman, but also to encourage other women – who do not have self confidence – that they are in fact beautiful in their own skin!

After a few months of shooting boudoir and implied nude; I met Peter from Boudoir Fusion Photography who took my first bodyscape images and I was blown away! Never mind that the images I was looking at; was of me!!! However; the human body is so darn beautiful. And every other bodyscape that Peter have done, took my breath away. I quickly learned that my art, my expression through my modelling and the images taken by me, can show emotion and can evoke emotion.

When you look at my work…

I would like to believe that most people see past the ‘nakedness’. That you notice the colours, the shapes, the textures in the images. That you are able to feel or notice whether there is sorrow, or happiness. Whether the image is more of a fine art piece to be hung on a wall of a surgeons office, or something that could be looked at or admired from your mobile phone screen, used in an advertising campaign empowering women, or used as a PC screensaver. That you can believe that I’m more than a ‘naked woman’; someone who at the age of 39 believes wholeheartedly that ANYONE can love themselves and is art. That anyone – no matter what your age, your size or your background – can love the skin that they are in. That nudity DOES NOT equal sexuality.

I love modelling, photography and matters of the heart and mind. I love art. I love the human body. Combine all of these; and you will find what I do. This is only the beginning…

What the DM – v2

What the DM – v2

If you are a loyal follower; you would have seen a while back that Ive posted some of the weird and wonderful DM’s I receive from followers. Most the time these are from the arb guys. The “passer by’s” I’d like to call them 😂

Note that I don’t always disclose their names as I really dislike “naming and shaming”. A lot of you disagree with this; however I do not feel good/satisfied/better/empowered in embarrassing someone else; and certainly not out there to “teach lessons”. This is good comical fun though…

I’m often asked how I even deal with it or cope with it. Very easily. 1. They have no idea who I am, 2. They were raised not respecting women 3. They have problems with their sexual lives 4. They are trollers

Caught out!

Hi

Hiiiiii

Hey

Hey 

Hiiiii

Hey 

You beauti

U

Hey

U no pretty anyway!!!!!

looking gergious

Hiiiiiiii

Sugar Daddy Proposal

Wanting to get spoilt rotten with good money, afford luxury clothes, shoes and good lifestyle with a weekly allowance? Am a sugar daddy looking for a loyal and honest sugar Baby to take care of, kindly HMU if interested.

I’m still waiting 😎

Dude: Hey kan u send naked video pvt

Me: You first

Dude: Ai jis do video call

Me: No, just send me a video of you

Dude: No do not hafe video of me

Me: Send me a video of you

Dude: What

Me: Send me a video of you

Me: A naked one

Dude: huh

Me: Dude – seriously? Let’s think about this. Really carefully

Dude: nag

Me: You really think I will send “naked pictures or videos” of me? To you? Who are you even? If you want naked videos or pictures go look on pornsites. Bye

Me: BTW send me your parents details – I need to congratulate them on teaching you manners and respect

Dude: huh?

Rejected!

Dude: Hiiiiiiiii sexy

Dude: You are so gorgeous, and have an incredible delicious body. Tell me, would a fine women like you be taken? Let’s hook up sometime and I can show you a few things *insert an unusual amount of arb emoji’s*

Dude: I guess the cat caught your tongue *insert double of the above amount of emoji’s*

Me: Hey there, thank you. No – however you did appear to message me at 3am. And in all fairness I was catching up on some much needed beauty sleep. No kitties in sight! That leads me to my next answer. I have never gone anywhere against my will, therefor not “taken”. I am however married 🙂

Dude: Aaaaaaaah sorry. Just delete this message. Thanks. I didn’t mean any of it anyway

Me: WHAT? Are you telling me I’m ugly?

Dude: That is not what I meant.

Me: Oh, so I’m not gorgeous, nor fine?

Dude: No, you are very beautiful

Me: Oh you’re assuming that I won’t be lost anymore since I’m “taken” therefor you won’t need to show me “a few things”?

Dude: Yes

Me: Out of curiosity; what exactly were you going to show me (considering you appear to be 19 and I am 39)

USER NOT FOUND

Too Easy

Dude: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Me: no

Dude: Okay

How does one resist this?

Too Easy 2

Dude: Can I ask you something?

Me: (think: here we go….) Typing: Sure 😊

Dude: When you pose, do you get horny. Or do you turn the photographer on?

Me: No, and no. This is a job. Do you get turned on at work?

Dude: Sometimes

Me: Well I don’t

Dude: Can I send you a picture?

Me: No thank you

Dude: Please

Me: No

Dude: okay.

Dude: Have a nice evening

Dude: If you change your mind……

Mr Famous

Dude: Thnx 4 da follow love ur gallery wow

Me: Thank you

Dude: Pleasure do you mind sharing some pictures or videos mwa

Me: You may find all my images on artbyam.com

Dude: Was hoping u would make it more special by sending it 4 me Swt *insert roses and hearts and kisses and hearts and roses*

Me: Thanks. I’m a professional model. I don’t swap images. All my images are “special”

Dude: Im totally aware of that but u caught my attention and I find u so attractive its also my dream and vision to become a pro bodybuilder

Me: I suggest you do your research prior to addressing any lady and disrespecting her. I am not a porn star. One of the lessons I suggest you learn (on your way to get your Pro card and being a prominent figure within the industry) is respect and being humble. NOT asking to swap nude videos.

Me: Have a nice life

Since you ask so nicely….

Pardon?

Dude: Hey! hgd?

Dude: Wmj?

Dude: halo sexy; wmj?

Me: what does that even mean?

Dude: jmr mooi dang. js bja mooi!

Me: no

Dude: Jys rrg bja mooi

Dude: Halo?

Dude: wmj

Whilst I do try and engage as much as I can with my followers on IG, I limit my time on Facebook. I also found that the people on Facebook are – in general and not everyone – a little more rude and crude. Perhaps I have just started loosing interest due to the very strict rules and restrictions. Regardless, I value each person who follows me, respects me and takes the time to appreciate what I do. Whatever their thoughts, assumptions or intentions are!

Version 3 will most likely be posted soon! Hope you had a little giggle 😜

What is a “real woman”

Top Tips for New Faces

Being a more “mature” model and having the experience I do have; and I am often asked to help out with suggestions or advice with or for other models and photographers.

Here are a few top tips:

1. Are you sure?

Being a “shmodel” is not always as cracked up as you think it is. Especially in our country where you are limited with exposure (certainly not much for the average model in Europe or the States). To be on the cover of any comercial magazine would take more than a pretty face. In fact it would take a “someone” to believe that you have potential.
So be prepared for a lot of hard work. A lot of casting calls – these you will have to look for and pitch up to. Every. Single. One.
Should you wish to work as an editorial, beauty or commercial model – join an agency. A good one. One that has proven success in placing their models.
And be prepared that this can be a soul destroying job – if you allow it to be.

2. Build a Portfolio

Your CV in the modelling world starts with a few images of you. Do your research and find a professional photographer that has experience in assisting models with their portfolio shots. The pricing various however you would look at anything between R1500 and R3000 for a set of portfolio images. If you join an agency; they would assist you in your portfolio shots.
These images would include:
* front and side shot of your face including shoulders (hair back WITHOUT make-up)
* portrait
* swimwear
* fashion
* catalogue
You DO NOT need to have any nude images nor would you be expected to be semi naked in any portfolio shots.

3. It starts within

As in many other industries; this industry can be unforgiving and people talk. ALOT.
So if you do not look after yourself (your diet, water intake and training) it shows. It shows in your eyes, teeth, hair, nails, skin and BO. YES. Body odour.
Make sure you drink at least 2 litres of water and train regularly. Eat clean meaning no junk food, no sugar.
I have been at so many jobs where I hear some of my fellow model friends being discussed; how dirty their feet are or how they smell of alcohol, or their breath smells or their skin looks terrible.

4. Take it seriously and everyone will take you seriously

As in the corporate world, you need to be professional. This means being on time. This means having the respect and courtesy to engage with your client and to let them know should your plans change, your waist size change; you are sick etc. Be friendly – no one likes a grumpy ass. Be mindful of your language – not everyone appreciates a foul mouth. Don’t get too comfortable – no matter how lovely your client/ photographer is; it’s still a job. Respect that! Respect them; and most of all respect the job! No one likes a diva.

5. Safety First

You HAVE to do your research on whoever and where ever you shoot. Too many girls arrive at a job and realise that the photographer is not who he said he was. Or that the job required a lot more than what was explained.
When you communicate with your client, ask a few questions (see point 6) and perhaps talk to other models who worked with him before.
Make sure you tell at least two of your family members and/or friends where you are going, who the client is and their contact details.
Whenever I go to new clients; I send a location pin on WhatsApp to my husband and a few friends. This way; should anything ever happen they have my location.
Also remember that if anyone ever tells you that you can’t bring someone along; then start investigating why? You should be able to bring anyone with you – as long as you ensure that the said person will not interfere with your work (unless you are in danger)

6. Questions to ask

A few questions that I would strongly recommend you ask to ensure you are well prepared for the job as well as safe

a. When and Where? The obvious questions. Make sure that you save these details (including business name and address) and should you be unsure of the location ask. Ask the questions of parking and security.

b. Mood board. Should your client not have a mood board; they will provide you with reference ideas.
***Mood board is an arrangement of various colours, ideas, images, text etc to evoke or project the feel or desired result your client would want

c. Ask for references of people who your client worked with in the past – contact these references to confirm what their working experience was with your client.

d. Ask for your client’s portfolio – this should be readily available.

e. Ask for your client’s social media pages and handles. Should they not have any; investigate why. We live in a generation where social media is a critical tool for any business. I personally get worried when someone says they don’t have social media. 

f. Should you be approuched by someone on social media; ask them for their business names, address, contact number and email address. Then ask them to contact you via email with the specifications of what is required. OR ask them to call you in order for you to have a professional conversation. Should it sound dodgy; you could always block them. Also should they not have a profile image or any images or posts that suggest what they do; ignore and block.

g. Ask how long they will require you for the job and what you will need to bring along.

h. I would always recommend requesting a pre-meeting to meet your client prior to the day. This will also ensure that you meet a “real” person, and should you feel uncomfortable you do not waste your time by accepting the job. 

7. Fail to Prepare = Prepare to Fail

So now you’ve secured the job and booked for a shoot. The thing is that you now not only want to ACE this job; you want to leave a lasting impression. You want to be booked again; and most importantly; you want your client to recommend you.

Make sure:

a. You get enough sleep the night before – at least 8 hours. I promise you, lack of sleep shows and the retoucher will grumble whilst editing those dark circles or puffy bags under the eyes. Believe it or not – your skin tells on you (the traitor!)

b. DRINK WATER!! not just the night before; but the week before. In fact – water is any model, actress, athlete – anyone’s secret weapon for healthy skin, hair – ALLES.

c. Pack your bags. whatever was agreed with your client, pack your wardrobe/shoes/gown the night before to ensure that you wake up the next morning and just go.

d. Bring toiletries (face cream, vaseline, body lotion, deodorant, socks, a towel, soap, hair tie and clips, brush) along. These come in handy a lot of times.

e. DO NOT go out to party, or drink alcohol the night before – it shows and you will smell terrible.

f. Make sure you charge your phone the night before.

g. Pack your meals the night before. You do not want your blood sugar to drop nor do you want to become hangry 😁 You will thank me! Oh and remember to pack water!

h. Wash your hair the night before. No one likes dirty hair.

i. Self tan is a big NO NO – don’t do it. It streaks, sometimes your skin reacts weirdly, and sometimes on the screen your skin looks orange. Don’t do it!

j. DON’T squeeze pimples. They leave marks and more often than not, you will make them worse.

k. If you wax; make sure you wax TWO days prior. Not the day before; as waxing leaves a rack or inflamed red skin.

8. The D Day

Whilst on the job, remember you are being paid to be there. Therefor conduct yourself in a polite manner. DON’T use your phone whilst shooting – you are there to work. Unless previously arranged or agreed; do not take “behind the scenes” images.

This is not because people are fickle; but for professional reasons companies do have a confidentiality clause.

DO NOT chew chewing gum whilst shooting. Every client I have ever worked with gets incredibly irked with shooting someone that looks like a grazing cow.

Leave the restrooms, changing rooms and studio the way you have found it.

Once the shoot is over, drink a coffee but do not over stay your welcome.

DO NOT drink any alcohol with your clients/other models; and whilst working. AT ALL.

Do not exchange details with other contractors or other potential clients whilst working. This can be done once you have completed your job.

8. BE HUMBLE

It takes absolutely no extra energy to be kind and to be humble. There are thousands of other models in Johannesburg – let alone in South Africa. Being chosen for a job means that someone have seen value in you. However there is no reason at all; to ever act like a Diva. People follow people – if you’re going to act like a diva or b*&ch; then you will likely not be hired again. And remember what I said? People talk.

9. The long and short of it

Being a model would mean that your images would be released publicly. Remember that whatever you choose to do, or whatever direction you choose to pursue, you cannot undo images that are on the internet or on someones hard drive.

So for starters: Your public persona is important. Your clients will research you as you research them. Posting racial, political and other content that may upset some people would not be a good idea. Posting videos of you behaving in a disrespectful or ill mannered fashion, would again not sit very well at all.

Also remember that your opinions and comments on other peoples posts many be held against you. Airing your dirty laundry is tasteless. I personally do not share anything about my family as it is part of my personal life, and as much as I have chosen my career in the “public eye” they did not.

10. The “N” Word

One last thing that I must touch on. A lot of models go into this industry naive or ignorant about what is expected of them.

You do not – DO NOT – need to take your clothes off, or shoot nude to be a model. I will say this again : To be a successful model – you are not expected or obliged to be naked, semi-nude or undress in front of anyone.

My advice to any young model is to not even consider glamour or nude modelling until they have had at least 5 years working experience within the industry. There is no rush. Some say that your prime is at 21 – yes, for any modelling genre that may be the truth; but the nude industry is not nearly as strict and selective.

Once you take your clothes off in front of the camera – your images are on someones hard drive and your images will always be on the internet. Some models think it’s a great idea at the time, only to meet the man of their dreams who disapproves of that. Or they start a religious journey, that does not agree with nudity. Now you have to try and get all that content removed. Think very carefully before choosing to shoot nude.

There are so much more to this; however this is my “compact’ version. As with any of my posts : please do not hesitate to contact me on any of my platforms should you have any questions at all. I am a model coach and run workshops specifically dedicated for models. This includes do’s and don’ts, posing, and life coaching.