If you are a loyal follower; you would have seen a while back that Ive posted some of the weird and wonderful DM’s I receive from followers. Most the time these are from the arb guys. The “passer by’s” I’d like to call them 😂
Note that I don’t always disclose their names as I really dislike “naming and shaming”. A lot of you disagree with this; however I do not feel good/satisfied/better/empowered in embarrassing someone else; and certainly not out there to “teach lessons”. This is good comical fun though…
I’m often asked how I even deal with it or cope with it. Very easily. 1. They have no idea who I am, 2. They were raised not respecting women 3. They have problems with their sexual lives 4. They are trollers
U no pretty anyway!!!!!
Sugar Daddy Proposal
Wanting to get spoilt rotten with good money, afford luxury clothes, shoes and good lifestyle with a weekly allowance? Am a sugar daddy looking for a loyal and honest sugar Baby to take care of, kindly HMU if interested.
I’m still waiting 😎
Dude: Hey kan u send naked video pvt
Me: You first
Dude: Ai jis do video call
Me: No, just send me a video of you
Dude: No do not hafe video of me
Me: Send me a video of you
Me: Send me a video of you
Me: A naked one
Me: Dude – seriously? Let’s think about this. Really carefully
Me: You really think I will send “naked pictures or videos” of me? To you? Who are you even? If you want naked videos or pictures go look on pornsites. Bye
Me: BTW send me your parents details – I need to congratulate them on teaching you manners and respect
Dude: Hiiiiiiiii sexy
Dude: You are so gorgeous, and have an incredible delicious body. Tell me, would a fine women like you be taken? Let’s hook up sometime and I can show you a few things *insert an unusual amount of arb emoji’s*
Dude: I guess the cat caught your tongue *insert double of the above amount of emoji’s*
Me: Hey there, thank you. No – however you did appear to message me at 3am. And in all fairness I was catching up on some much needed beauty sleep. No kitties in sight! That leads me to my next answer. I have never gone anywhere against my will, therefor not “taken”. I am however married 🙂
Dude: Aaaaaaaah sorry. Just delete this message. Thanks. I didn’t mean any of it anyway
Me: WHAT? Are you telling me I’m ugly?
Dude: That is not what I meant.
Me: Oh, so I’m not gorgeous, nor fine?
Dude: No, you are very beautiful
Me: Oh you’re assuming that I won’t be lost anymore since I’m “taken” therefor you won’t need to show me “a few things”?
Me: Out of curiosity; what exactly were you going to show me (considering you appear to be 19 and I am 39)
USER NOT FOUND
Too Easy 2
Dude: Can I ask you something?
Me: (think: here we go….) Typing: Sure 😊
Dude: When you pose, do you get horny. Or do you turn the photographer on?
Me: No, and no. This is a job. Do you get turned on at work?
Me: Well I don’t
Dude: Can I send you a picture?
Me: No thank you
Dude: Have a nice evening
Dude: If you change your mind……
Dude: Thnx 4 da follow love ur gallery wow
Me: Thank you
Dude: Pleasure do you mind sharing some pictures or videos mwa
Me: You may find all my images on artbyam.com
Dude: Was hoping u would make it more special by sending it 4 me Swt *insert roses and hearts and kisses and hearts and roses*
Me: Thanks. I’m a professional model. I don’t swap images. All my images are “special”
Dude: Im totally aware of that but u caught my attention and I find u so attractive its also my dream and vision to become a pro bodybuilder
Me: I suggest you do your research prior to addressing any lady and disrespecting her. I am not a porn star. One of the lessons I suggest you learn (on your way to get your Pro card and being a prominent figure within the industry) is respect and being humble. NOT asking to swap nude videos.
Me: Have a nice life
Dude: Hey! hgd?
Dude: halo sexy; wmj?
Me: what does that even mean?
Dude: jmr mooi dang. js bja mooi!
Dude: Jys rrg bja mooi
Whilst I do try and engage as much as I can with my followers on IG, I limit my time on Facebook. I also found that the people on Facebook are – in general and not everyone – a little more rude and crude. Perhaps I have just started loosing interest due to the very strict rules and restrictions. Regardless, I value each person who follows me, respects me and takes the time to appreciate what I do. Whatever their thoughts, assumptions or intentions are!
Version 3 will most likely be posted soon! Hope you had a little giggle 😜
Being a more “mature” model and having the experience I do have; and I am often asked to help out with suggestions or advice with or for other models and photographers.
Here are a few top tips:
1. Are you sure?
Being a “shmodel” is not always as cracked up as you think it is. Especially in our country where you are limited with exposure (certainly not much for the average model in Europe or the States). To be on the cover of any comercial magazine would take more than a pretty face. In fact it would take a “someone” to believe that you have potential. So be prepared for a lot of hard work. A lot of casting calls – these you will have to look for and pitch up to. Every. Single. One. Should you wish to work as an editorial, beauty or commercial model – join an agency. A good one. One that has proven success in placing their models. And be prepared that this can be a soul destroying job – if you allow it to be.
2. Build a Portfolio
Your CV in the modelling world starts with a few images of you. Do your research and find a professional photographer that has experience in assisting models with their portfolio shots. The pricing various however you would look at anything between R1500 and R3000 for a set of portfolio images. If you join an agency; they would assist you in your portfolio shots. These images would include: * front and side shot of your face including shoulders (hair back WITHOUT make-up) * portrait * swimwear * fashion * catalogue You DO NOT need to have any nude images nor would you be expected to be semi naked in any portfolio shots.
3. It starts within
As in many other industries; this industry can be unforgiving and people talk. ALOT. So if you do not look after yourself (your diet, water intake and training) it shows. It shows in your eyes, teeth, hair, nails, skin and BO. YES. Body odour. Make sure you drink at least 2 litres of water and train regularly. Eat clean meaning no junk food, no sugar. I have been at so many jobs where I hear some of my fellow model friends being discussed; how dirty their feet are or how they smell of alcohol, or their breath smells or their skin looks terrible.
4. Take it seriously and everyone will take you seriously
As in the corporate world, you need to be professional. This means being on time. This means having the respect and courtesy to engage with your client and to let them know should your plans change, your waist size change; you are sick etc. Be friendly – no one likes a grumpy ass. Be mindful of your language – not everyone appreciates a foul mouth. Don’t get too comfortable – no matter how lovely your client/ photographer is; it’s still a job. Respect that! Respect them; and most of all respect the job! No one likes a diva.
5. Safety First
You HAVE to do your research on whoever and where ever you shoot. Too many girls arrive at a job and realise that the photographer is not who he said he was. Or that the job required a lot more than what was explained. When you communicate with your client, ask a few questions (see point 6) and perhaps talk to other models who worked with him before. Make sure you tell at least two of your family members and/or friends where you are going, who the client is and their contact details. Whenever I go to new clients; I send a location pin on WhatsApp to my husband and a few friends. This way; should anything ever happen they have my location. Also remember that if anyone ever tells you that you can’t bring someone along; then start investigating why? You should be able to bring anyone with you – as long as you ensure that the said person will not interfere with your work (unless you are in danger)
6. Questions to ask
A few questions that I would strongly recommend you ask to ensure you are well prepared for the job as well as safe
a. When and Where? The obvious questions. Make sure that you save these details (including business name and address) and should you be unsure of the location ask. Ask the questions of parking and security.
b. Mood board. Should your client not have a mood board; they will provide you with reference ideas. ***Mood board is an arrangement of various colours, ideas, images, text etc to evoke or project the feel or desired result your client would want
c. Ask for references of people who your client worked with in the past – contact these references to confirm what their working experience was with your client.
d. Ask for your client’s portfolio – this should be readily available.
e. Ask for your client’s social media pages and handles. Should they not have any; investigate why. We live in a generation where social media is a critical tool for any business. I personally get worried when someone says they don’t have social media.
f. Should you be approuched by someone on social media; ask them for their business names, address, contact number and email address. Then ask them to contact you via email with the specifications of what is required. OR ask them to call you in order for you to have a professional conversation. Should it sound dodgy; you could always block them. Also should they not have a profile image or any images or posts that suggest what they do; ignore and block.
g. Ask how long they will require you for the job and what you will need to bring along.
h. I would always recommend requesting a pre-meeting to meet your client prior to the day. This will also ensure that you meet a “real” person, and should you feel uncomfortable you do not waste your time by accepting the job.
7. Fail to Prepare = Prepare to Fail
So now you’ve secured the job and booked for a shoot. The thing is that you now not only want to ACE this job; you want to leave a lasting impression. You want to be booked again; and most importantly; you want your client to recommend you.
a. You get enough sleep the night before – at least 8 hours. I promise you, lack of sleep shows and the retoucher will grumble whilst editing those dark circles or puffy bags under the eyes. Believe it or not – your skin tells on you (the traitor!)
b. DRINK WATER!! not just the night before; but the week before. In fact – water is any model, actress, athlete – anyone’s secret weapon for healthy skin, hair – ALLES.
c. Pack your bags. whatever was agreed with your client, pack your wardrobe/shoes/gown the night before to ensure that you wake up the next morning and just go.
d. Bring toiletries (face cream, vaseline, body lotion, deodorant, socks, a towel, soap, hair tie and clips, brush) along. These come in handy a lot of times.
e. DO NOT go out to party, or drink alcohol the night before – it shows and you will smell terrible.
f. Make sure you charge your phone the night before.
g. Pack your meals the night before. You do not want your blood sugar to drop nor do you want to become hangry 😁 You will thank me! Oh and remember to pack water!
h. Wash your hair the night before. No one likes dirty hair.
i. Self tan is a big NO NO – don’t do it. It streaks, sometimes your skin reacts weirdly, and sometimes on the screen your skin looks orange. Don’t do it!
j. DON’T squeeze pimples. They leave marks and more often than not, you will make them worse.
k. If you wax; make sure you wax TWO days prior. Not the day before; as waxing leaves a rack or inflamed red skin.
8. The D Day
Whilst on the job, remember you are being paid to be there. Therefor conduct yourself in a polite manner. DON’T use your phone whilst shooting – you are there to work. Unless previously arranged or agreed; do not take “behind the scenes” images.
This is not because people are fickle; but for professional reasons companies do have a confidentiality clause.
DO NOT chew chewing gum whilst shooting. Every client I have ever worked with gets incredibly irked with shooting someone that looks like a grazing cow.
Leave the restrooms, changing rooms and studio the way you have found it.
Once the shoot is over, drink a coffee but do not over stay your welcome.
DO NOT drink any alcohol with your clients/other models; and whilst working. AT ALL.
Do not exchange details with other contractors or other potential clients whilst working. This can be done once you have completed your job.
8. BE HUMBLE
It takes absolutely no extra energy to be kind and to be humble. There are thousands of other models in Johannesburg – let alone in South Africa. Being chosen for a job means that someone have seen value in you. However there is no reason at all; to ever act like a Diva. People follow people – if you’re going to act like a diva or b*&ch; then you will likely not be hired again. And remember what I said? People talk.
9. The long and short of it
Being a model would mean that your images would be released publicly. Remember that whatever you choose to do, or whatever direction you choose to pursue, you cannot undo images that are on the internet or on someones hard drive.
So for starters: Your public persona is important. Your clients will research you as you research them. Posting racial, political and other content that may upset some people would not be a good idea. Posting videos of you behaving in a disrespectful or ill mannered fashion, would again not sit very well at all.
Also remember that your opinions and comments on other peoples posts many be held against you. Airing your dirty laundry is tasteless. I personally do not share anything about my family as it is part of my personal life, and as much as I have chosen my career in the “public eye” they did not.
10. The “N” Word
One last thing that I must touch on. A lot of models go into this industry naive or ignorant about what is expected of them.
You do not – DO NOT – need to take your clothes off, or shoot nude to be a model. I will say this again : To be a successful model – you are not expected or obliged to be naked, semi-nude or undress in front of anyone.
My advice to any young model is to not even consider glamour or nude modelling until they have had at least 5 years working experience within the industry. There is no rush. Some say that your prime is at 21 – yes, for any modelling genre that may be the truth; but the nude industry is not nearly as strict and selective.
Once you take your clothes off in front of the camera – your images are on someones hard drive and your images will always be on the internet. Some models think it’s a great idea at the time, only to meet the man of their dreams who disapproves of that. Or they start a religious journey, that does not agree with nudity. Now you have to try and get all that content removed. Think very carefully before choosing to shoot nude.
There are so much more to this; however this is my “compact’ version. As with any of my posts : please do not hesitate to contact me on any of my platforms should you have any questions at all. I am a model coach and run workshops specifically dedicated for models. This includes do’s and don’ts, posing, and life coaching.
We are all guilty of hypocrisy. It certainly isn’t intended, yet we all do this.
I have yet again had a rant on social media regarding some
of my posts being deleted from my pages. Taking it rather personally sometimes;
I can’t understand why people would report my images. It’s art after all! If
people do not like it; then they should scroll past or unfollow me!
This morning I read a post that made me stop and rethink
this thought process. If you know me; you’d know I’m all about love and
kindness. About tolerance and acceptance. Yet here I am throwing a wobbly like
a three year old, because I am not having my way. Because people are unfair!
I was brought up by my mamma to accept that everyone will
never think the same way, believe in the same things, and feel the same.
Example being that different religions; one believes modesty as part of their religious
culture and that it would be a sin to bare any skin or hair. The other believes
it would be wrong to eat certain kind of foods. Does it make either religion
wrong or right? No. There is no wrong or right. Similarly when you have someone
who believes a high protein or Keto diet is the way to go, and someone else
believes that you should really only have a plant based diet. Neither is wrong;
you do what is best for you and what is good for your reality.
So this post I read that was posted by a close friend;
states that nudity will always offend someone. Will always be “too this or too
that”. There’s no point in fighting this as we are all human and all very
different. And it dawned on me that I am an advocate for equality. For
supporting one another no matter what your thought processes are – yet here I am
getting angry for people not seeing or believing what I am, believe or stand
Surely it’s disrespectful to dismiss other people’s point of
views, opinions and beliefs? Yes it certainly is unjust for those to then
preach what is wrong with what you do and condemn you for it; however we live
in a society – all be it unfair mostly – where we have freedom of speech and
beliefs. Therefore surely we should be more considerate of one another’s lives
and how they choose to live it; or how we choose to express ourselves. Though I’d
implore each person to look past the superficial and perhaps to dig a little deeper as to what others do and how
they live prior to condemning them; I’d certainly also suggest to move along
should it not be your kind of “thing”. You know? Like when you get an invitation
to the movies, but you much rather sit at home? Or you’re vegan and invited to
a Buckhurst festival? You would politely decline and get on with life!
Based on the above I’ve decided to acknowledge that though I
am on a mission to not only empower other women – to feel proud of being
themselves and in their own skin, but also not to care what other’s think; I
will respect the fact that not everyone agrees on nudity. I may not understand
why. I may not necessarily agree on their thought processes; I will however
respect their opinions and move on. Rather than having a tantrum as to why
people don’t see life through my eyes.
I will continue with my work. Doing what I do; I hope to perhaps have some see something beautiful in what I do. Some to change their perception on the nude human form. And if I don’t; that is also okay.
I am often asked about my tattoos and it’s certainly a great conversation starter.
You may notice that I have a few and, they are all rather random. What I love about it; is that each of them has some meaning behind it, and whilst not everyone gets it; I feel that I’m a walking piece of art with a pinch of my biography.
The very first (Mistake)
My very first tattoo was a home job; done by a high school friend. In fact, he bought a tattoo gun but wasn’t quite sure how to use it. I actually repel to think what we did. We used the needle from the gun and manually poked my ankle whist dripping ink into the wound. Mine was a cross.
A badly done cross.
This sat on my ankle for 2 years. My mum wanted to kill me!! Thank goodness my mum was only thinking that, as my friend’s mum took sandpaper and bleach to hers. She didn’t come to school for a few days after that, as her ankle was badly infected.
The second which is still the first
I then became close friends with Pieter who had his first
tattoo shop across the way from my house.
Pieter “fixed” my mishap of a cross and covered it with a blonde angel. This was for my 17th birthday – and he designed/created it.
An angel with a snake wrapped around her and my star sign (Aquarius) above her head. I still have this piece on my ankle. This represented me (I was blonde at the time), and life experiences having a hold on me (the snake).
Tramp Stamp Generation
A year later I fell in love with the idea of a ….dum dum duuuuuum TRAMP STAMP! Not any tramp stamp…. A TRIBAL stamp – which I designed myself. It was pretty and fluffy and feminine. And Pieter did it for me too.
I then decided I had enough tattoos… That was short lived though as whilst living in the UK, I wanted more I realised. This took a backseat since I had to “adult” first and raise two babies.
By the time I moved back to South Africa, I had decided I wanted a side or back piece (Only about 10cm big) of a phoenix. I have faced many adversities and managed to get over many stubbling blocks in my life time.
Associated with the Sun, a phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor. According to some sources, the phoenix dies in a show of flames and combustion, although there are other sources that claim that the legendary bird dies and simply decomposes before being born again
I went off to a recommended tattoo artist who
told me that the bird I wanted was never going to look the way I wanted it to
look, at the small size I wanted. So they set out drawing what they said would
be the right size…. My entire back.
This was beautiful, and powerful and gorgeous. And I wanted it so badly, I told them to go ahead.
5 hours later; my body went into shock. The outline was done, but because I was so very skinny at the time as well as 5 hours is a long sitting – we called it a day. After that day I had another 4 sittings with this tattoo artist. A couple years later I went to a female artist who coloured my bird; added beautiful tail feathers and extended the wings.
Shortly after that I had my first thigh piece done. A crystal heart that represent my household, surrounded by my husband and children’s birth flowers.
But the bug has bitten. A couple years ago I
went AWHE Tattoo’s and had my thigh piece added to. I am obsessed with geometry
and ancient geometrical shapes – and the meaning of it.
I’ve added two triangles that are meant to be
prisms with a rose inside of each.
One is facing up and the other downwards. Triangles represent the past, present and future as well as body mind and soul. Pointing up triangle means strong foundation or stability; pointing downwards would signify ascend from above/heaven. Upwards triangle also indicates male as downwards indicates female. This all tied together with a plant motive (although the triangles aren’t together they grow together)
My next piece is my Medusa.
In Greek mythology, Medusa was a monster, a Gorgon, generally
described as a winged human female with living venomous snakes in place of
hair. Those who gazed upon her face would turn to stone.
Though Tony and I stumbled across the idea, it has deeper meaning to me. And without divulging too much into that; it does represent a stage in my life where I have questioned male intentions.
Along came the skull. This piece is probably the only piece that doesn’t have a personal attachment for me. It’s F*#king amazing right?? At the end when we all pass away we return to bones then to dust. My pretty skull lady has my favourite flower (Orchids) on top her head and a mandala behind her and you can see glimpse of it through her eyes.
Flower of Life etc.
My next piece was my butterfly with the Flower of life and Metatron Cube. I am very spiritual and upon my journey to figure out what my purpose is; I have learnt that I am a 22 (in numerology this is a powerful number) and that I’ m a powerful healer. Metatron’s Cube starts with the Fruit of Life shape, and connects all 13 circles with straight lines. It’s named after Archangel Metatron, who watches over the flow of energy in creation and provides a connection to the divine.
My piece on my arm (which will likely grow into a sleeve) is
from my very favourite artist Chiara Bautista. Her art is a mixture of love
stories. To me I see the universe in all of them.
My latest tattoo is a vine-like plant on the right side of my body. This has so much potential to add to should I wish. I love plants and I’m rather surprised that I don’t have more on my body. Plants remind me of growth, Mother Nature, natural healing and most of all renewed love and beauty. Like second chances.
My next tattoo will be done on April Fool’s day. Though Tony
and I have a couple things we are adding to my art work; I still keep thinking
of new ideas.
I want people to want to take a closer look. Not think that it’s just another body covered in tattoos. Tony’s talent is beyond amazing!! I am blessed that he is my artist and has become such a dear friend. All of the AWHE team are incredible.
WILD WOMAN (n) A woman who has reclaimed her birth rite as an emotional and powerful being. A woman who does not confirm to societies expectations of her gender: but dances to the beat of her own drum.
She is sensitive and soft, fierce and honest. A truth seeker, wisdom carrier, and messenger of her ancestors 🖤
A wild woman is so many things, but this archetype is often misunderstood.
To every archetype there is both a shadow and integrated side
Wild women are mothers who have reclaimed themselves. Committed lovers who prioritize self-love and understand that freedom is an inside job.
Wild women are single women who choose to laugh, make love and play with whoever lights their spark, free of societal pressure or self judgment.
A Wild Woman with integrated qualities has a thirst for knowing herself and a desire to go deep beyond the surface of what we see as normal. She is fierce, loving and honest. She is a seeker, a wisdom carrier.
She is willing to walk alone to have what she deserves and she is willing to let love in when it arrives.
She isn’t wild because she lives a certain way, she is Wild because she lives by the guidance of Spirit and her Heart.