I have been quiet, I know. I’m not sorry though. The past year was a toughie. Not just on me…I know a lot of us have had to face demons, stumbling blocks and other challenges. It’s been a goodie and a baddie. We have seen the end of so many wicked ways and the beginning of new chapters. Alone time – alot of it – is needed. And if you are not making time to be alone and work on your heart and mind, then I’m afraid the challenges will continue.
Personally, the hardest part of some of the challenges was griefing – when someone was still alive (not that it is easier when someone pass). PTSD; when something rocked your world so hard, yet it was such an unobvious event to have caused such trauma. I’m not just talking of my own experiences, I know that many of us have faced this.
During this same period, many people have searched inwards too. Questioning life and the way things are. A true awakening or consciousness. Becoming aware of what’s hurt or broken within themselves or within the world, and the deeper realisation that we are all responsible to make a difference or change.
I’ve loved and despised this journey – my anxiety and depression rolling to and fro in waves. My autoimmune disease teasing at the tip op my front door. My chronic fatigue taunting me every so many hours. This has however taught me how friggen strong and stubborn I am. That my love for my children and my determination and will, to be successful and to continue to run successful business’ is stronger than all the mental and physical games I’ve glanced at yet not succumbed to.
The biggest challenges or lessons for me is being vulnerable and letting go. Letting go of the past, and letting go of the hurt. And following that; allowing myself to be vulnerable.
This is to remind you that you will be okay. Do not give up on yourself, or your goals. Do not be so hard on yourself. Stop resisting the lessons and curveballs the universe is throwing at you. Instead, acknowledge it and ask yourself – what am I meant to learn from this? Go easy on yourself, make yourself a priority, and most of all smile!!!
A few years back, when I began my journey within the modelling industry, family and friends made insinuation to the fact that I’m “doing porn”. It was then quite a shock to me and of course I was amused but also hurt that they didn’t see what I was doing, was another form expression, art or modelling.
I have since then begun to realise that there are rather a few people that may not know the difference between all the genres. This has never been more clear than when I look at some of the comments and messages that we as models receive on social media. Of course, I am very vocal about that topic too 😂
Recently I ran a poll on Instagram asking whether people knew the difference between Implied Nude, Nude, Glamour, Boudoir, Erotic and pornography? The results shocked me a little, as 56% claimed that they know the difference. Here’s the thing though… after contacting a select few who said that knew the difference, it was very clear that they didn’t. I asked a couple simple questions and the answers were all very confusing.
Implied Nude vs Nude
Implied nude photos suggests nudity however Implied Nude you are unable to see breasts, genitals or buttocks. Many photographers would also argue that “Implied Nude” is a pose in which the model poses in such a fashion that it allows the viewer to guess whether the model has clothes on or not. Therefore “implying” it may be nude. Where as with Nude modelling you are blatantly naked. This form of photography is especially popular for fine art, bodyscaping and contemporary photography. The idea with nude modelling is expression and setting. The objective is NOT sexual, rather the beauty of the setting and pose.
Glamour vs Boudoir
Think Hustler, Playboy and the page 3 models…That would be summed up as glamour photography. When you’re taking an image and want to seduce the viewer, without sexual movements, gestures or acts. Glamour would mostly be accepted as the model “charming” the viewer. Boudoir on the other hand has more of a focus on lingerie and usually in the bedroom as a setting and a private affair. Boudoir is also a very popular gift idea for couples for one another. It’s sensual and romantic, and usually intended for the private enjoyment of his or her partner. The difference would therefor be that boudoir would usually be for the couple at home whereas glamour would be a posed model.
Erotic vs Pornography
This is where a lot of people also get confused. Both have artistic elements to it and both are sexually intended. Erotic, erotic art and erotic fine art is sexually suggestive or sexually provocative. This would usually be shot with or without clothing and could have props. Some examples may include fruit or plants or an object in front/ontop/inside genitals or the body, it could also perhaps be suggestive of sex or sexual pleasure WITHOUT the actual deed. Whereas pornography is a staged set up scene where one or more person is pleasuring themselves/one another with the intent to arouse the viewer. Pornography photography is sexually explicit; there is no subtlety to the image – they are plain, unshadowed and naively detailed.
Side Note on Pornography
For a long while – and especially in South Africa where we live in such conservative circumstances – people seem to associate nudity with SEX, PORNOGRAPHY and DISRESPECT. We are brought up believing that our nakedness is shameful, it is tasteless and oh so sinful!! *GASP* However I firmly believe this is where we are going wrong! Think about it. It is human nature to wonder about what we are not “allowed to have or allowed to do”. It is also human nature to have sex. To procreate. Now tell a human who’s DNA is designed to have sex, that it is filthy and dirty and anything suggesting it may be sin, evil and horrible! This is just a recipe for deceit, for secrecy and for unhealthy obsessions. For centuries women and men have had different mating methods or rather how to attract one another for that very (natural and normal) reason.
During 1839, French artist Louis Daguerre’s invention of the photograph, known as the daguerreotype, which transformed the availability and realism of sexual imagery. Thereafter this industry became one of the biggest and fastest-growing. Each human adolescent start asking questions about sex and inevitably look for and sneak some kind of pornography to see more and find out more. This rush of having to do this secretly doesn’t really go away for most. In fact it feeds the creative mind and our fantasies. And what better way then to quench this with some saucy ideas that you and your partner may never consider talking about let alone try; via some pornography? I mean it can’t be sin if it is not you doing it? It can’t be wrong if you just happen to “see it”. Just don’t openly admit to it and pull a face of disgust in front of your family when you do see it ;). And when you see a pretty girl in a pair of lacy knickers looking oh so sultry back at you, and it evokes some kind of stirring – shout out PORN!
Because let’s face it, if we were all comfortable with our sexuality, and with our bodies, and didn’t feel the need to ask our creator for forgiveness when we appreciate another human’s expression, beauty and abilities – we would all value the art of human photography. Let it be known though; as Dita Von Teese says: you could be the juiciest, ripest, sweetest peach in the world and there would be someone who doesn’t like peaches; just the same with any art and photography. Modesty empowers some as nudity empowers others.
Boudoir Fusion Photography have extensive experience within most of these genres of photography. They have helped many couples capture special intimate moments as well as assisted companies with branding, marketing and editorial pieces for published magazines.
Quite often I am asked a variety of questions that eventually becomes mundane to answer. Psychologically almost every human LOVES two things: Hearing their name and talking about themselves. HOWEVER; when the same questions pop up day in day out for a couple of years, it can get a little long in the tooth to answer.
I love engaging with my followers and love answering (most) questions, so I almost feel that it’s pretty unfair of me to become this stultify. Hence writing an “updated version” of about me. Now you will notice I say “updated” and that would be in view of the fact that I have indeed written two other posts with said topic. Never the less, I feel that I should update you guys on the topic at least once a year as I am a very impulsive, spontaneous and passionate individual that love changes.
To keep it neat and tidy, and to mix things up a bit (in comparison to my last two blogs about this topic anyway), I’ll answer the questions in true questionnaire fashion.
- How tall are you? 1, 80m (6ft)
- How many tattoos do you have? So many!! I don’t actually count them)
- How long have you been modelling? About four years full time.
- What made you decide to pursue modelling? I used to do ramp modelling whilst a teen. When we migrated to South Africa after living in the UK for several years, a friend asked me to be their “test subject” for a lighting set-up. After which I was approached by a photographer that asked whether I’d shoot boudoir with him. I agreed and our work together was stunning. He asked me to consider working with him again. Some of our work involved more explicit content (nude) which I absolutely loved. I was surprised as to how comfortable I felt in front of the camera. I was beginning to receive many more requests to shoot and that was the birth of my nude modelling career. In the interim, I’ve worked for several art schools (live posing), art studios, artists, television and publications.
- How old are you? Just turned 40
- How do your family and friends feel about you being naked in front of millions? I have lost an entire group of “friends” that felt that a mum and wife should not do “this”. That it is “disrespectful”. The most painful process is learning that the people who you think are loyal to you, don’t have your back. The most liberating feeling is when you realise that they were not actually your “friend”. My family are my biggest fans. My children especially – as they have learnt to follow their dreams and passions. That every person’s BODY is a beautiful BODY, no matter the sex, size or race – and whether you are nude or covered. My friends are all supportive and all love what I do and what I stand for.
- How often do you work out? I am on a training programme which I stick to and work closely with my coach. I train every day, 6 days a week weight training and 6 days a week yoga. I also eat a balanced healthy meal plan that ensures that I achieve my optimal energy levels. My diet excludes red meat, potatoes, gluten pasta’s, dairy and sugar. I eat at least 6 times a day.
- What diet are you on? See above
- Are you single? I am married with 2 children – my husband and I are no longer together and we are essentially in a conscious uncoupling process. The only reason why I would divulge this private information is that I feel more people would benefit from learning about this topic/method. I am considering using this method to counsel in future.
- Are you sexual? YES! and the great news is… SO ARE YOU! We are all sexual creatures. We were created to procreate. Most of all; most people were lead to believe that sex is shameful and sin – that is not true.
- What do you do? I could be facetious about this and say lots of things! Currently, I’m writing my blog 😜 On a serious note; I consider myself a full-time model, Artist, Networker, Life Coach, Counselor and Business Owner. I’m studying psychology and working towards helping as many people heal from whatever they are facing, as possible.
- Are you a pornstar? Please finish reading this blog, then return to the blog where I explain the difference between nudity and pornography.
- Why don’t you respond? I respond as often as I am able to. Believe it or not; Instagram and Facebook are not all I do.
- Why do you not chat more? See point 8.
- What inspires you? Knowing that I can make a difference. I cannot save the world, however, I can leave a legacy by touching at least one person’s heart or soul.
- Why do you not show your nipples and vagina? Because dear fella; I will not only be removed from social media platforms, I have a business to run. You may find all my uncensored work on here. If you are only keen to see my vagina, or up my uterus – please feel free to type “vagina” (or relevant terms) into your search engine as I am sure you will find said options in all shapes and sizes.
I often feel that most people are quite surprised in learning that I am a little more intelligent than what they assume me to be (pun not intended). However, it never fails to surprise me how some people underestimate a woman that seems to be comfortable to be nude or semi-nude. That being said; I’m rather content with how little people know about me, as as much as I love creating nude imagery, I prefer for people to know as little as possible about me. Oh, the paradox!
Another topic that keeps rearing its head is that people ask advice. Relationship, career and personal life advice. I’ve always been called the “Agony Aunt” in my friend circles and never really minded. Perhaps why I’ve decided to take councilling more serious? So I’m toying with the idea of offering an “Agony Aunt service” 😂
Let me know what your thoughts are! And as always, thank you for following me, for reading my blog, for supporting me and most of all; for your kindness. For every dick pic (DP) I receive; I receive at least 80 kind DM’s. 1:80 is not a bad ratio at all ❤️