Your Understanding vs My Reality

Your Understanding vs My Reality

Many a times I am asked the strangest questions; (strange to me) about what I do – or I hear the assumptions and can’t help but have a giggle.

To understand what I do, is to understand why I am doing what I do first. Have I lost you? What I mean is that when you look at my work, my posts on Instagram and my website; there is a general assumption as to what I do without realising what I actually do.

In the past I’ve received private messages on Social Media…

Asking for explicit images of me sometimes posing in suggestive ways. Usually this amuses me; and I always ask what gave them the idea that I’d do that or that I’m a porn star. And usually the response would be that I shouldn’t get offended as I am the one “asking for it” by posting nude images of myself. My first question would usually be : where did I show my genitals and second question : where do I pleasure myself.

You see, we as humans, and we as society have been lied to for so many years that we actually believe that the human body is a dirty, sinful thing when not covered with fabric. We have taught generations of children to be ashamed of themselves. To be embarrassed with what we were born with. That evil creatures will lurk around any corner and will pounce on you for showing a little too much skin. That there would be justification for those acts! You asked for it after all by “exposing” some of what you were born with!!

I was asked in a recent interview what I’d tell anyone who condemns what I do or brand my work as pornography. The difficult thing is that I cannot change society’s mind single handily. I do however believe that if we brought our children up to love their own bodies, and not to be ashamed of their bodies, that we respect each other’s naked bodies – not by hiding it but accepting it as natural and normal. Not to sexualise nudity and skin; that it would solve so many of our crimes and the worlds issues today.

Think about it…

There would be less sexual crimes, less depression due to self esteem issues, less self harm and eating disorders. Imagine a world with more confidence and acceptance of one self? We would have so much more success in every business sector! So many more people would achieve their dreams and optimum productivity!

Captured by Boudoir Fusion Photography

I digress. Years ago when I posed for a boudoir shoot, and whilst changing outfits, the photographer of the day asked whether he could take a shot (picture) of me. My back was facing him and I was dressed in only my knickers. I felt a little shy yet intrigued. I’ve never really had an issue with being naked; yet I’ve never actually thought of being photographed naked.

Once I got changed into my next outfit the photographer showed me on the LCD viewer what he had taken of me whilst topless. It was a gorgeous shot. It summed up to me; what I see in women. Soft, elegant, warm, feminine, sensual, love, beauty all in one. I was amazed that THAT was me! And so I was happy to shoot implied nude. After realising that this not only motivated me to share the beauty of a woman, but also to encourage other women – who do not have self confidence – that they are in fact beautiful in their own skin!

After a few months of shooting boudoir and implied nude; I met Peter from Boudoir Fusion Photography who took my first bodyscape images and I was blown away! Never mind that the images I was looking at; was of me!!! However; the human body is so darn beautiful. And every other bodyscape that Peter have done, took my breath away. I quickly learned that my art, my expression through my modelling and the images taken by me, can show emotion and can evoke emotion.

When you look at my work…

I would like to believe that most people see past the ‘nakedness’. That you notice the colours, the shapes, the textures in the images. That you are able to feel or notice whether there is sorrow, or happiness. Whether the image is more of a fine art piece to be hung on a wall of a surgeons office, or something that could be looked at or admired from your mobile phone screen, used in an advertising campaign empowering women, or used as a PC screensaver. That you can believe that I’m more than a ‘naked woman’; someone who at the age of 39 believes wholeheartedly that ANYONE can love themselves and is art. That anyone – no matter what your age, your size or your background – can love the skin that they are in. That nudity DOES NOT equal sexuality.

I love modelling, photography and matters of the heart and mind. I love art. I love the human body. Combine all of these; and you will find what I do. This is only the beginning…

Nude Modelling: What actually happens during a photoshoot

Nude Modelling: What actually happens during a photoshoot

Image captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography

I posted an image last night with a brief description of what happens when I shoot. I’ve had such great responses and more questions that I figured I may give a little more details of what my general shoot day looks like.

BUT FIRST…..

I instantly feel irritated with some questions and remarks when it comes to what I do. However; trying the shoe on my foot – allow me to set a few things straight:

  1. Do you have sex with other photographers and models on set? Don’t be ridiculous would be my first answer. Think of your work place. Do sleep with your clients? Wait…. don’t answer that….the average person doesn’t! We are all there to do a job. Not have sex.
  2. Do you or your photographer get aroused/turned on when you shoot in nude? Again; Don’t be ridiculous. HOWEVER; this is a plausible question as I gather that if you are not used to see people in the nude; being human – it may be a “turn on”. Should this ever be the case, I would not know as all the people I’ve worked with have always kept our shoots very professional. Then again I only work with people who are experienced with what I do.
  3. How does your husband “allow” you to do this? I do not “belong” to a single other individual. I’m not property to be owned – therefor no one should or would have ownership of me and “allow” me to do anything. I would advise you to look very deeply within yourself when you think this way. All my loved ones (including my children) support me, and encourages me. They are fully aware that when I am with them; I give “me”, I give my time and my heart to them. What you see on photos of me is something that is created – not my personality, my heart, my mind or any other intimate moments of me.

Preparation

Clients get in touch with me via my website, Messenger on FB or DM’s on Insta. “Clients” refer to an individual or company that will employ me/pay for me to model a brand, a concept or something abstract. This could be an amateur photographer, a clothing/beauty/food/coffee etc brand, or artist or even a private individual that wants my work displayed in their house/workplace/office/reception or an artist that wishes to paint or sketch me.

Once they have reached out, I send my hourly rates and we discuss what the requirements are. We book hair, make-up and wardrobe if necessary as well as the location.

It’s very similar to an actress – I am provided a reference/dream board/idea and then meet for a briefing of the job.
We go through the set; we discuss at length what mister client wants to achieve and then we start.

On set

First half hour is usually like a rehearsal. I become or embody the mood that is meant to reflect what we shoot. Acting out the emotions and moods. Moving around and “connecting” with the lens. The photographer would take a few shots and we would look at the results and unpack how we want to change or enhance the results thus far.
Sometimes we nail the shot; sometimes we don’t.

Depending on client (I call them trigger happy or interval clickers) I move with every shot or I pose until desired shot, light, mood, and pose is achieved. I have to change my facial expression and my body continuously. 
A lot of people don’t realise this but posing in it self is work! It means you’re posing head to toe – all at the same time! Suck your tummy in, relax the look in your eyes, relax hands and fingers, chin out and nose down, feet pointed at all times, arch back and push out butt etc. You have to know what you are good at, your “good sides”, your flaws (and how to move to avoid it), and not to move in extreme gestures and movements.

This takes a while and sometimes we end up with amazing work, other times not. For most jobs (nude excluded of course); I’d have 3 outfit changes.
We then “load” the images onto the computer, and go through the images.
Selection process then post work begins. This is the harder part, and if the light and set up wasn’t spot on; the most technical part for the photographer would be in post work. Editing becomes more challenging.

Leave the BS at the door

This is my passion – though it’s work I LOVE every minute of every shoot.
I do not entertain any bullshit on set ever.
Then again the people I work with have always been incredibly professional. No person will try anything on. I have always prided myself in being professional and making it clear that there’s no room for any nonsense.

I do not drink on any job, nor would I work with anyone who does. My manager is fully aware of my movements and my diary, as is my family. As soon as I arrive at a job, I’d WhatsApp everyone my location.

The P word

I do not get involved with “adult entertainment” industry, not because I do not agree with it, but because that is not my line of work. Should I ever be addressed or employed for anything that involves the adult industry; I’d consult with my team and most importantly talk to my family.

That being said: I will not and have never entertained or considered pornography. I will not engage or consider that avenue, and have no inclination nor desire to explore that. Yes, pornography to some could also be art. For me personally; it’s not my thing.

SIDE NOTE:

Pornography, representation of sexual behaviour in books, pictures, statues, motion pictures, and other media that is intended to cause sexual excitement. The distinction between pornography (illicit and condemned material) and erotica (which is broadly tolerated) is largely subjective and reflects changing community standards. The word pornography, derived from the Greek porni (“prostitute”) and graphein (“to write”), was originally defined as any work of art or literature depicting the life of prostitutes.

Because the very definition of pornography is subjective, a history of pornography is nearly impossible to conceive; imagery that might be considered erotic or even religious in one society may be condemned as pornographic in another. Thus, European travelers to India in the 19th century were appalled by what they considered pornographic representations of sexual contact and intercourse on Hindu temples such as those of Khajuraho; most modern observers would probably react differently. Many contemporary Muslim societies likewise apply the label “pornography” to many motion pictures and television programs that are unobjectionable in Western societies. To adapt a cliché, pornography is very much in the eye of the beholder.

Image captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography

I demand respect

I take my work very seriously 
This is NOT an invite to ask me out, to ask me for a coffee, to ask “to get to know me”, to send me proposals, to send me genitalia or ask me advise on your genitals, to request to pose naked with me, to tell me how I’m asking to be disrespected, to ask me whether I have had any specific sexual deeds done to me. 

What I do is all on images – you cannot assume that I don’t have anything left for my special person in my life. There’s so much more to a body than what the eye meets in an image. 
In fact it is YOUR creativity and imagination that creates something from what you see. If this leads you to anything other than appreciation; keep it to yourself.

Thank You

A lot of my work is for sale too! 
Questions about who I am, my life, my tattoos etc? Have a look at my blogs. It’s all on here.
Thank you to each of you for your ongoing love, kindness and support – I value you so much! I’ve had countless messages from women especially thanking me for inspiration or motivation; and to be frank: THAT makes my day.


🖤 Don’t you think the curves of a woman is just beautiful? 🖤

I’ve taken time for myself, you should too

I’ve taken time for myself, you should too

I have been quiet, I know. I’m not sorry though. The past year was a toughie. Not just on me…I know a lot of us have had to face demons, stumbling blocks and other challenges. It’s been a goodie and a baddie. We have seen the end of so many wicked ways and the beginning of new chapters. Alone time – alot of it – is needed. And if you are not making time to be alone and work on your heart and mind, then I’m afraid the challenges will continue.

Personally, the hardest part of some of the challenges was griefing – when someone was still alive (not that it is easier when someone pass). PTSD; when something rocked your world so hard, yet it was such an unobvious event to have caused such trauma. I’m not just talking of my own experiences, I know that many of us have faced this.

During this same period, many people have searched inwards too. Questioning life and the way things are. A true awakening or consciousness. Becoming aware of what’s hurt or broken within themselves or within the world, and the deeper realisation that we are all responsible to make a difference or change.

I’ve loved and despised this journey – my anxiety and depression rolling to and fro in waves. My autoimmune disease teasing at the tip op my front door. My chronic fatigue taunting me every so many hours. This has however taught me how friggen strong and stubborn I am. That my love for my children and my determination and will, to be successful and to continue to run successful business’ is stronger than all the mental and physical games I’ve glanced at yet not succumbed to.

The biggest challenges or lessons for me is being vulnerable and letting go. Letting go of the past, and letting go of the hurt. And following that; allowing myself to be vulnerable.

This is to remind you that you will be okay. Do not give up on yourself, or your goals. Do not be so hard on yourself. Stop resisting the lessons and curveballs the universe is throwing at you. Instead, acknowledge it and ask yourself – what am I meant to learn from this? Go easy on yourself, make yourself a priority, and most of all smile!!!

Nude Modelling: What actually happens during a photoshoot

What the DM?!

Have you ever wondered what goes on in my DM’s? Of course, you have! Or you could only imagine or assume right?

Doing what I’m doing one would naturally assume that you attract all kinds of attention. Personally, it doesn’t bother me. From my understanding; it is human nature to get excited, intrigued, even mesmerised by something that is considered taboo in our day to day lives. To follow someone that so flamboyantly comfortable to expose so much skin; to become so comfortably sensual in the public eye, is certainly not “normal” in society.

Here are a few of the DM’s that I have received – and saved. I will be keeping it anonymous. Should you see one of your DM’s here; please don’t take offense.

Please also note that there are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. Not mine. Theirs

Mr Flirt

Follower: You are a stunner, and you are a flirt too

Me: Thank you for the compliment

Follower: Why do you flirt when you are married?

Follower: Tease

Me: No, I think you confuse the two. When someone is friendly and when someone is flirting

Follower: Interesting

Follower: The Question being, why are you so flirty?

Me: I’m really happy to have met you. And thank you for the lovely compliments. I am happily married and would never dream of screwing up my relationship of 18 years. I have always been the way I am.

Some people get it, some don’t. You don’t need to get it.

Follower: You are avoiding the question of being flirty….a simple yes or no

Me: No

Follower: Cool, nice meeting you

Me: have a great day 😊

Mr Big Bucks

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: How are you?

Follower: Hi

Follower: I will give you R5000 to talk to me

Follower: I’ll take that as a no…Bye now….Don’t have time for people who waste my time

Follower: Hi Alli

Follower: Hi??????

Sexy Selfie

Follower: Hi, I love your photos

Me: Thank you so much, and thank you for your support

Follower: Sweet so send a sexy selfie

Follower: It’s a pleasure but send sume sexy selfie of you self  (exactly how that was typed)

Me: You are welcome to look at any of my images on my website 😊

Follower: But u my send me sume plz hun

Follower: What r u up to now

Me: I think you have the wrong impression of me. I’m at home with my husband and children 😊

Follower: No I don’t. Send me a selfie of u now plz

Me: Sure

(Here I sent him three images of a hairy elderly overweight man)

Follower: what???

Me: What is wrong?

Mr Crude

Follower: Do you have a nice bush hiding inside your panty?

Me: Do you speak to your mum like that?

Follower: You are not my mum

Me: Thank heavens for that!! I’d be mortified if I was!

Follower: So do you have a nice bush in hiding?

Me: What is your name and where do you live?

Follower: How about a full body pic?

Me: What is your name and where do you live?

Follower: Tom Oliver Florida

Me: Oh fabulous Tom. Shall I tag your real name when I repost this?

*this contact does not exist*

Mr To-the-Point

Follower: Hii

Follower: Sexy girl

Follower: kisses

Follower: You are so hot

Follower: I want to F**k you

Taking a chance?

Follower: Do you still do shoots?

Me: Good morning XXXX, yes I do 😊

Follower: Are you on whatsapp please

Follower: Alli still waiting to pay you please

Me: Pay me for?

Follower: A shoot we want you in please

Me: I will send my rates shortly. Who is “we”?

Follower: XXXX from world mag. Are you on whatsapp please?

Me: Insert his profile image which is blank.

Me: Aaaaaaah I thought I recognised you!!!

Follower: Me. What have I done?

Me: Apologies but I do not give my number out.

Me: Nothing at all. You don’t have a profile picture

Me: Insert my rates and Z card

Follower: But we still need your number for our system i keep to myself

Follower: We have better rates

Me: That’s amazing. Please feel free to email my agent

Follower: Why not chat direct to u

Me: Insert agent email address

Follower: Pay u 9k bikini 15k topless and 25k nude

Me: No worries. Sounds great

Follower: It is for world mag a uk company

Me: Please send your company details including company registration, address and telephone number to Insert agent email address

Follower: Again still need u number u can delete again

Me: Inclusive of all the details

Me: Nope

Me: You may email the details to my agent so that we can ensure this is legit

Follower: Sure

Me: This is unfortunately my terms.

I then research the name of the magazine and google comes up with “WORLD magazine – Today’s Christian Views and Christain News”. I take screen shot and post it to him

Follower: Our sister company

Follower: I know you are married

Me: Your sister company is a Christian magazine? And you need me to pose nude?

I’m sorry, I have NEVER done business over “whatsapp”. I have never accepted 25K offer over messenger.

You do not have a profile photo.

You have no photos

You tell me you work for a Christian magazine’s sister company but you want me to do nude shoots.

Please supply me with your office number so that I can speak to you and verify your existence.

Follower:  I will email you

Me: Of course you will 😊 Have a great day scammer

M

Mr Educator

Follower: *insert Eggplant and splash emoji’s*

Follower: Good morning wow

Follower: Hey there

Follower: Do you know what a c*m shot is?

Follower: x

Me: do you know what respect is?

Let’s just try (1)

Follower: Hi, what else could u do besides nude shoots?

Me: I am a full time model 😊

Follower: So if I pay you for escort services?

Me: Then I’d would suggest you look for an escort agency

Follower: If I were to ask you out on a date?

Me: Then I’d say noJ

Jerk

Follower: Thanks for the morning glory

Follower: U made my day

Follower: *insert heart emoji*

Follower: R you realy gonna just leave me with this hard on, and nothing to do with it?

Me: Yes I am.

Because number one I am not a sex worker nor a pornographer

Number two I am married

Number three I do not mingle with individuals who cannot respect me.

Follower: My bad

Let’s just Try (2)

Follower: But now we can be friends yeah?

Follower: Can we? Tell me coz I’m in suspense

Follower: May I ask, do your tattoos have any meanings?

Follower: U wanna bang or what now?

Follower: You never told me about your tattoos

Follower: *inserts an image of one of my tattoos*

Follower: So you fill on with shit?

Me: Do you eat food with that filthy mouth?

Follower: No man! I didn’t mean it in a kuk way I’m just saying

Follower: Can I give you my number?

Follower: Can you give me yours?

Follower: I really wanna f**k you

Follower: Come now how much u gonna cost me?

Follower: You never told me about your tattoos

Follower: Like ur skin is so fine, to tat it looks cool for sure, gives me a boner n stuff but, does it resemble anything?

Follower: Like snoopy is better than a butterfly

Follower: Wouldn’t you agree?M

Mr Poser

Follower: How much for a naked art photo shoot with you?

Follower: You must pay me Im willing to pose naked next to you

Me: That’s kind of you however I have plenty male models. Thank you for the offer 😊

Follower: K cant I do one free bee with you guys will even pay for it photo shoot please. How much will you ask? Wont go viral uncensored please I just want to pose naked next to babe love the art of being naked even shaved my pubs clean for it

Follower: how much for a naked with you?

Me: I appreciate your support thank you

Follower: What is the price?

Follower: must I send you a naked pic of my body? To see I pass please

Me: No please don’t

Follower: K but I’m only 33 still love your naked pic just to bad you have to blur it out on Instagram why you don’t use twitter no cover up on twitter

Follower: geez Im not doing it for money or any sex just asking to pose naked with you guys and girls for one day Im also a borned nudist

Follower: Leave it then if I have to pay for my naked body to be on somecover

Follower: going full nude if you like it or not!

NEXT MORNING

Follower: Sorry I was drunk last night, I wasn’t thinking. My bad
M

Mr Persistent

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi there

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Sexy

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hiiiii

Follower: hi

Follower: Hi

Follower: Hello

Follower: hi

Follower: how r u

Follower: sexy

Follower: Hi

I have decided to screenshot and save all strange, rude and amusing DM’s I receive. People automatically assume the worst or extreme. Instead of retaliating I usually respond with as much patience and kindness as possible. It is not always possible, however hopefully it does affect them in some way.

I have plenty more, however have realised that I’d be losing some of the audience with all the drivel. Perhaps I will post more soon.