S E X

Standing in a queue waiting to pay for something I hear the conversation somewhere behind me. “He wanted to ….. talk about….you know {hushed voice} es – ee -ex… I look over to see who this person was that was clearly so embarrassed to mention one of us human’s most natural normal functions, only to look into middle-aged lady eyes. She went all shades of scarlet and I could see she wanted the earth to swallow her whole.

I mentioned this to my kids, and my 19-year-old daughter stated that they have discussed it several times with friends, and it seems most of them (the friends) feel uneasy not only to talk about sex but to even think about sex. Granted they are still young and do not have nearly enough life experience. Their parents apparently never really felt comfortable enough to talk about sex other than the basics that we are offered in sex-ed at school. Their parents have also created such a “secretive” vibe around that subject that the kids are so curious yet scared and feel pressure due to expectations.

However would it not be an idea to start educating the younger generation about something that’s so important and literally part of EVERY SINGLE HUMAN’S life (regardless of your sexual preferences, sexual tendencies or whether it involves penetration/masturbation/fantasising?) This being an age-appropriate subject and discussion, could potentially create better self-awareness, self-confidence and ultimately stronger romantic relationships with the “correct” partners.

A week later I meet up with a friend and we catch up a little as we have not seen one another for a few months. I tell him that I have decided to continue my studies in psychology for me to counsel couples as well as focussing on sexual counselling and sexual healing, predominantly from a spiritual approach. As I tell him this I tell him about the incident of the lady whispering her voice. He laughs and points out that I was doing exactly the same! I look around and state well we are sitting in one of the busiest restaurants in Fourways, and he asks me how is that different?

So as I smile whilst looking at all of this, as I understand that perhaps I may talk freely about my sexual relations and what goes on behind closed doors, it must of course be per each person comfort level as well as “the right time and the right place”. That being said, I wonder whether a person can be taught and shown that sex is really nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. In fact, it is something spectacularly beautiful. Something that we were indoctrinated to believe is a sin most of the time. Something that the patriarchal system tricked you into believing is something that should be hidden and only done for the sake of procreation only.

Furthermore, if someone could teach you how to not only discover your pleasure spots and areas but also teach you how to have CONSCIOUS and MINDFUL sex or intimate engagement, how it would change your entire world, the way you perceive connections and bring you closer to Source, to your own higher self and to the person you have a beautiful vibrational connection with?

There is of course plenty of research out there that will confirm that various aspects and various factors have a role to play in why the general public may feel so reluctant in opening themselves up to be more honest and open. Not only about sex, but about everything that goes along with sex, your sexual curiosities, your sexual preferences etc. And how to even start discovering the “deeper” more authentic you (pardon the pun). I suppose this will fall in line with something that I want to succeed at.