Your Understanding vs My Reality

Your Understanding vs My Reality

Many a times I am asked the strangest questions; (strange to me) about what I do – or I hear the assumptions and can’t help but have a giggle.

To understand what I do, is to understand why I am doing what I do first. Have I lost you? What I mean is that when you look at my work, my posts on Instagram and my website; there is a general assumption as to what I do without realising what I actually do.

In the past I’ve received private messages on Social Media…

Asking for explicit images of me sometimes posing in suggestive ways. Usually this amuses me; and I always ask what gave them the idea that I’d do that or that I’m a porn star. And usually the response would be that I shouldn’t get offended as I am the one “asking for it” by posting nude images of myself. My first question would usually be : where did I show my genitals and second question : where do I pleasure myself.

You see, we as humans, and we as society have been lied to for so many years that we actually believe that the human body is a dirty, sinful thing when not covered with fabric. We have taught generations of children to be ashamed of themselves. To be embarrassed with what we were born with. That evil creatures will lurk around any corner and will pounce on you for showing a little too much skin. That there would be justification for those acts! You asked for it after all by “exposing” some of what you were born with!!

I was asked in a recent interview what I’d tell anyone who condemns what I do or brand my work as pornography. The difficult thing is that I cannot change society’s mind single handily. I do however believe that if we brought our children up to love their own bodies, and not to be ashamed of their bodies, that we respect each other’s naked bodies – not by hiding it but accepting it as natural and normal. Not to sexualise nudity and skin; that it would solve so many of our crimes and the worlds issues today.

Think about it…

There would be less sexual crimes, less depression due to self esteem issues, less self harm and eating disorders. Imagine a world with more confidence and acceptance of one self? We would have so much more success in every business sector! So many more people would achieve their dreams and optimum productivity!

Captured by Boudoir Fusion Photography

I digress. Years ago when I posed for a boudoir shoot, and whilst changing outfits, the photographer of the day asked whether he could take a shot (picture) of me. My back was facing him and I was dressed in only my knickers. I felt a little shy yet intrigued. I’ve never really had an issue with being naked; yet I’ve never actually thought of being photographed naked.

Once I got changed into my next outfit the photographer showed me on the LCD viewer what he had taken of me whilst topless. It was a gorgeous shot. It summed up to me; what I see in women. Soft, elegant, warm, feminine, sensual, love, beauty all in one. I was amazed that THAT was me! And so I was happy to shoot implied nude. After realising that this not only motivated me to share the beauty of a woman, but also to encourage other women – who do not have self confidence – that they are in fact beautiful in their own skin!

After a few months of shooting boudoir and implied nude; I met Peter from Boudoir Fusion Photography who took my first bodyscape images and I was blown away! Never mind that the images I was looking at; was of me!!! However; the human body is so darn beautiful. And every other bodyscape that Peter have done, took my breath away. I quickly learned that my art, my expression through my modelling and the images taken by me, can show emotion and can evoke emotion.

When you look at my work…

I would like to believe that most people see past the ‘nakedness’. That you notice the colours, the shapes, the textures in the images. That you are able to feel or notice whether there is sorrow, or happiness. Whether the image is more of a fine art piece to be hung on a wall of a surgeons office, or something that could be looked at or admired from your mobile phone screen, used in an advertising campaign empowering women, or used as a PC screensaver. That you can believe that I’m more than a ‘naked woman’; someone who at the age of 39 believes wholeheartedly that ANYONE can love themselves and is art. That anyone – no matter what your age, your size or your background – can love the skin that they are in. That nudity DOES NOT equal sexuality.

I love modelling, photography and matters of the heart and mind. I love art. I love the human body. Combine all of these; and you will find what I do. This is only the beginning…

A’s for the Q’s

A’s for the Q’s

Image by Peter Driessel from
Boudoir Fusion Photography

I love engaging with my followers on social media.  What I do as a nude model intrigues people. People are also curious about my personal life. I get all that and most the time I’ve come to realise that the general public are either misinformed, not educated regarding the industry; curious or ignorant.

This is meant with the most respect as I understand it is not the “norm” to do what I do.

I have asked my followers on two platforms to send me questions that they have, as sometimes I am ask the same questions by different folks. This seems like a great way of answering these repetitive questions as well as for some to get to know a little more about the naked body on Social Media.

Have you ever been sexually harassed by a photographer?

This is such a relevant question. Recently two models from our industry have come forth about two photographers who sexually abused them.

I have never been in such a predicament with my clients or photographers, and I guess that is most likely due to experience as well as the time I spend in researching who I work with. I am very passionate about this topic and such a big ambassador and advocate for – against – this (research #metoo) and busy organising an event that will be addressing sexual abuse, sexual harassment and other traumatic experiences women today face; how to avoid certain scenarios and situations and how to deal with any such happenings.

What is your favourite aspect of modelling?

I am an artistic individual and see beauty in most things. When I express shapes, emotions or just visual beauty; it gives me a feeling of pride and accomplishment.

Knowing that what I do as a model, inspires others – even a small minority – or allows others to see what I do as art or something beautiful (rather than assuming it is sexual), is more fulfilling than the attention received from the general public.

Image by Peter Driessel from
Boudoir Fusion Photography

Should body awareness and the taboo that goes with it be addressed in schools?

This question is something that I could write or talk about for days!!

In short; it starts at home.

Parents are responsible for shaping the morals and beliefs of their children (as well as guiding them and teaching discipline) up to when those kids are old enough to make their own decisions.

Parents are all the products of their own upbringing as well as the expectations and rigid guidelines of “society”. Unfortunately years and years of mass control has led for all religion to instill a fear of God, of hell, and of governments. This has caused individuals to believe that nudity is shameful. It is wrong. It is sin!

The product of these fears and beliefs cause many problems with today’s world population.

Not being allowed something has proved for a lot of people to go out and seek it. What I mean by that is that studies have proved that drug use is higher in countries with stricter laws and control over it.

I firmly believe that if children are taught from an early age to accept and embrace their own bodies and being brought up indifferent of nudity; we would have a lower sexual abuse and crime rate GLOBALLY. Furthermore; we would also have a generation of people who are more body confident. This would lead to a healthier and higher self-confidence rate. You would most likely have a lower bullying rate, and less self-harm, and eating disorders.

Combine this with schools incorporating and backing this upbringing – you would most likely find a healthier and stronger and ultimately more successful population.

How does your partner feel that you do these photoshoots?

My partner is my biggest fan. What I do as a profession is exactly that. Yes I have no problem being nude in public; however I do not pose naked for sexual satisfaction, nor to attract others for relationships or sexual attention.

The way I like to explain it is when you look at a gynaecologist. Or a vintner. Or a pharmacist

When a gynae has patients; they do not have affairs or intercourse or sexual experiences with their patients. It is a profession. Similarly vintners are not necessarily alcoholics nor do they sit and drink bottles of wine all day every day. As well as a pharmacist. They do not sit and inject or pop pills because they dispense it.

I take my passion – that is my job – very seriously. Yes due to the nature I attract a lot of curious individuals and a lot of weirdo’s This does not affect my relationships at home nor do my loved ones worry about what I do.  They support and love me and most of all are all very proud of me, and the success I have achieved.

You have a double barrel surname. Is the first or second one your maiden name?

My maiden name is Montgomery

What is your favourite way of dealing with explicit messages?

This question came up in conversation a few times with friends. It depends on the message (the approach) as well as my mood.

Inappropriate images I often just delete and block the person. I do however sometimes reply with “Is that it?” ; “Why are you sending me child porn?” ; “Thank goodness you showed me that, I am leaving  my husband and coming to live with you. I do have 7 kids so you will have to make room for them”

I’ve recently received a message where a guy told me that he “wanks” to my images and how does that make me feel. My response was “excited to share this news with your wife” – He blocked me after that.

Another message that read: “Bby I want 2 fck u” (yes exactly like that); was met with “I am so sorry; however I do not understand your dialect of stupid”. The individual replied with “I said I want to fuck u” to which I replied “I am sorry I do not understand your dialect of stupid”. This continued a few lines, and I gather he eventually gave up.

I have learnt not to take these messages seriously. That there will always be someone who will try their luck or be a jerk.

Image by Peter Driessel from
Boudoir Fusion Photography

Why nude modelling?

I’ve been modelling for many years and only recently realised that I am incredibly passionate about nude modelling. Not only nude modelling but also being a “spokesperson”, industry representative and activist for nudity, women empowerment, equality (feminism) as well as Body Positivity and #MeToo.

The actual deed or act of nude modelling has brought to me not only liberation and freedom, but also a sense of empowerment. What many people may not know about me; is that I have experienced sexual abuse several times growing up. This in itself may cause a lot of people to deal with it in ways that they would want to hide themselves, not show off their bodies or whatever else.

For me?  I turned this around and I use my nudity as a weapon. As a stand against abuse. As a method of control. I am able to express myself. Express my emotions and passions. Create art with  the human body – all within my control.

Though on surface level you see a naked person; what I actually am is someone who is standing against society; against sexual offenders, and abusers. I am representing every girl and woman and standing for all to believe in themselves enough to know that you’re allowed to embrace and love yourself.

Please feel free to send me more questions, as I am always happy to answer them and to give people an insight in my world. I’m a very private person so you will not learn much about my partner, children or family and friends; however I will try and educate people about my profession.

Please also keep your eyes peeled on my FB, Twitter and IG sites for more information about my other business’, events and workshops.