Little ripples and Big waves

Little ripples and Big waves

I spoke to someone recently about what their life purpose is. It has dawned on me that so many people are on the same path of self realisation. Little comments about how suddenly you just don’t feel like putting up with certain energies. How things feel differently. How it has become more common to meditate or stay with people who “gets” you and “vibes” with you. Talking about spiritual growth and awakening. This is such an exciting time to be alive.

Recently I listened to a podcast where they said that imagine we used the jargon above 50/60 years ago. “Hold on Ann, I just need to clean my chakras”. Or “Sorry Steve, I get a bad energy from that crowd so won’t join you tonight”. How about “Frank, please take the Rose Quarts and Amethyst with you when you’re called for national service”.

Truth is that times are changing so rapidly and people are becoming more and more aware how their energies, their vibes and their thought processes influence themselves, their circles around them and their future. And how their attitude, their beliefs and their outlooks can change their present and future circumstances.

Most of all though, how we all have a life purpose. A soul purpose. That all this woo-woo stuff I’m talking about has now been scientifically proven and backed.

So I spoke to this person about our life purpose. About how each of us are destined to (together) change the world and humanity; and they brought up that they are not cut out to stand on a stage and preach or to become some revolutionist. They can’t even talk in front of their family.

But that’s not the point. Like my husband says. It’s all about a little ripple in a pond. When one person is kind, loving and generous to those in their immediate circles, they create a little ripple. This ripple that affects perhaps a handful of people, also inspires those they touch; to do the same. So that one ripple multiplies by several ripples. This has a knock-on affect that then encourages more and more humans to do the same. A little kindness, a little love, a little understanding and a little generosity that eventually becomes a massive wave and affects everyone.

So whilst some of us were born to have a voice in front of the masses and literally be an inspiring presence in the public eye; the rest of us were born to be an inspiration to our close knit friends and families. And perhaps by doing some small act of kindness that changes several other peoples lives and restore some faith in humanity.

Nude Modelling: What actually happens during a photoshoot

Nude Modelling: What actually happens during a photoshoot

Image captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography

I posted an image last night with a brief description of what happens when I shoot. I’ve had such great responses and more questions that I figured I may give a little more details of what my general shoot day looks like.

BUT FIRST…..

I instantly feel irritated with some questions and remarks when it comes to what I do. However; trying the shoe on my foot – allow me to set a few things straight:

  1. Do you have sex with other photographers and models on set? Don’t be ridiculous would be my first answer. Think of your work place. Do sleep with your clients? Wait…. don’t answer that….the average person doesn’t! We are all there to do a job. Not have sex.
  2. Do you or your photographer get aroused/turned on when you shoot in nude? Again; Don’t be ridiculous. HOWEVER; this is a plausible question as I gather that if you are not used to see people in the nude; being human – it may be a “turn on”. Should this ever be the case, I would not know as all the people I’ve worked with have always kept our shoots very professional. Then again I only work with people who are experienced with what I do.
  3. How does your husband “allow” you to do this? I do not “belong” to a single other individual. I’m not property to be owned – therefor no one should or would have ownership of me and “allow” me to do anything. I would advise you to look very deeply within yourself when you think this way. All my loved ones (including my children) support me, and encourages me. They are fully aware that when I am with them; I give “me”, I give my time and my heart to them. What you see on photos of me is something that is created – not my personality, my heart, my mind or any other intimate moments of me.

Preparation

Clients get in touch with me via my website, Messenger on FB or DM’s on Insta. “Clients” refer to an individual or company that will employ me/pay for me to model a brand, a concept or something abstract. This could be an amateur photographer, a clothing/beauty/food/coffee etc brand, or artist or even a private individual that wants my work displayed in their house/workplace/office/reception or an artist that wishes to paint or sketch me.

Once they have reached out, I send my hourly rates and we discuss what the requirements are. We book hair, make-up and wardrobe if necessary as well as the location.

It’s very similar to an actress – I am provided a reference/dream board/idea and then meet for a briefing of the job.
We go through the set; we discuss at length what mister client wants to achieve and then we start.

On set

First half hour is usually like a rehearsal. I become or embody the mood that is meant to reflect what we shoot. Acting out the emotions and moods. Moving around and “connecting” with the lens. The photographer would take a few shots and we would look at the results and unpack how we want to change or enhance the results thus far.
Sometimes we nail the shot; sometimes we don’t.

Depending on client (I call them trigger happy or interval clickers) I move with every shot or I pose until desired shot, light, mood, and pose is achieved. I have to change my facial expression and my body continuously. 
A lot of people don’t realise this but posing in it self is work! It means you’re posing head to toe – all at the same time! Suck your tummy in, relax the look in your eyes, relax hands and fingers, chin out and nose down, feet pointed at all times, arch back and push out butt etc. You have to know what you are good at, your “good sides”, your flaws (and how to move to avoid it), and not to move in extreme gestures and movements.

This takes a while and sometimes we end up with amazing work, other times not. For most jobs (nude excluded of course); I’d have 3 outfit changes.
We then “load” the images onto the computer, and go through the images.
Selection process then post work begins. This is the harder part, and if the light and set up wasn’t spot on; the most technical part for the photographer would be in post work. Editing becomes more challenging.

Leave the BS at the door

This is my passion – though it’s work I LOVE every minute of every shoot.
I do not entertain any bullshit on set ever.
Then again the people I work with have always been incredibly professional. No person will try anything on. I have always prided myself in being professional and making it clear that there’s no room for any nonsense.

I do not drink on any job, nor would I work with anyone who does. My manager is fully aware of my movements and my diary, as is my family. As soon as I arrive at a job, I’d WhatsApp everyone my location.

The P word

I do not get involved with “adult entertainment” industry, not because I do not agree with it, but because that is not my line of work. Should I ever be addressed or employed for anything that involves the adult industry; I’d consult with my team and most importantly talk to my family.

That being said: I will not and have never entertained or considered pornography. I will not engage or consider that avenue, and have no inclination nor desire to explore that. Yes, pornography to some could also be art. For me personally; it’s not my thing.

SIDE NOTE:

Pornography, representation of sexual behaviour in books, pictures, statues, motion pictures, and other media that is intended to cause sexual excitement. The distinction between pornography (illicit and condemned material) and erotica (which is broadly tolerated) is largely subjective and reflects changing community standards. The word pornography, derived from the Greek porni (“prostitute”) and graphein (“to write”), was originally defined as any work of art or literature depicting the life of prostitutes.

Because the very definition of pornography is subjective, a history of pornography is nearly impossible to conceive; imagery that might be considered erotic or even religious in one society may be condemned as pornographic in another. Thus, European travelers to India in the 19th century were appalled by what they considered pornographic representations of sexual contact and intercourse on Hindu temples such as those of Khajuraho; most modern observers would probably react differently. Many contemporary Muslim societies likewise apply the label “pornography” to many motion pictures and television programs that are unobjectionable in Western societies. To adapt a cliché, pornography is very much in the eye of the beholder.

Image captured by
Boudoir Fusion Photography

I demand respect

I take my work very seriously 
This is NOT an invite to ask me out, to ask me for a coffee, to ask “to get to know me”, to send me proposals, to send me genitalia or ask me advise on your genitals, to request to pose naked with me, to tell me how I’m asking to be disrespected, to ask me whether I have had any specific sexual deeds done to me. 

What I do is all on images – you cannot assume that I don’t have anything left for my special person in my life. There’s so much more to a body than what the eye meets in an image. 
In fact it is YOUR creativity and imagination that creates something from what you see. If this leads you to anything other than appreciation; keep it to yourself.

Thank You

A lot of my work is for sale too! 
Questions about who I am, my life, my tattoos etc? Have a look at my blogs. It’s all on here.
Thank you to each of you for your ongoing love, kindness and support – I value you so much! I’ve had countless messages from women especially thanking me for inspiration or motivation; and to be frank: THAT makes my day.


🖤 Don’t you think the curves of a woman is just beautiful? 🖤

I’ve taken time for myself, you should too

I’ve taken time for myself, you should too

I have been quiet, I know. I’m not sorry though. The past year was a toughie. Not just on me…I know a lot of us have had to face demons, stumbling blocks and other challenges. It’s been a goodie and a baddie. We have seen the end of so many wicked ways and the beginning of new chapters. Alone time – alot of it – is needed. And if you are not making time to be alone and work on your heart and mind, then I’m afraid the challenges will continue.

Personally, the hardest part of some of the challenges was griefing – when someone was still alive (not that it is easier when someone pass). PTSD; when something rocked your world so hard, yet it was such an unobvious event to have caused such trauma. I’m not just talking of my own experiences, I know that many of us have faced this.

During this same period, many people have searched inwards too. Questioning life and the way things are. A true awakening or consciousness. Becoming aware of what’s hurt or broken within themselves or within the world, and the deeper realisation that we are all responsible to make a difference or change.

I’ve loved and despised this journey – my anxiety and depression rolling to and fro in waves. My autoimmune disease teasing at the tip op my front door. My chronic fatigue taunting me every so many hours. This has however taught me how friggen strong and stubborn I am. That my love for my children and my determination and will, to be successful and to continue to run successful business’ is stronger than all the mental and physical games I’ve glanced at yet not succumbed to.

The biggest challenges or lessons for me is being vulnerable and letting go. Letting go of the past, and letting go of the hurt. And following that; allowing myself to be vulnerable.

This is to remind you that you will be okay. Do not give up on yourself, or your goals. Do not be so hard on yourself. Stop resisting the lessons and curveballs the universe is throwing at you. Instead, acknowledge it and ask yourself – what am I meant to learn from this? Go easy on yourself, make yourself a priority, and most of all smile!!!

All that ink for what?

All that ink for what?

I am often asked about my tattoos and it’s certainly a great conversation starter.

You may notice that I have a few and, they are all rather random. What I love about it; is that each of them has some meaning behind it, and whilst not everyone gets it; I feel that I’m a walking piece of art with a pinch of my biography.

Taken by Peter Driessel from
Boudoir Fusion Photography

The very first (Mistake)

My very first tattoo was a home job; done by a high school friend. In fact, he bought a tattoo gun but wasn’t quite sure how to use it. I actually repel to think what we did. We used the needle from the gun and manually poked my ankle whist dripping ink into the wound. Mine was a cross.

A badly done cross.

This sat on my ankle for 2 years.  My mum wanted to kill me!! Thank goodness my mum was only thinking that, as my friend’s mum took sandpaper and bleach to hers. She didn’t come to school for a few days after that, as her ankle was badly infected.

The second which is still the first

I then became close friends with Pieter who had his first tattoo shop across the way from my house.

Pieter “fixed” my mishap of a cross and covered it with a blonde angel. This was for my 17th birthday – and he designed/created it.

An angel with a snake wrapped around her and my star sign (Aquarius) above her head. I still have this piece on my ankle. This represented me (I was blonde at the time), and life experiences having a hold on me (the snake).

Tramp Stamp Generation

A year later I fell in love with the idea of a ….dum dum duuuuuum TRAMP STAMP! Not any tramp stamp…. A  TRIBAL stamp – which I designed myself. It was pretty and fluffy and feminine. And Pieter did it for me too.

I then decided I had enough tattoos… That was short lived though as whilst living in the UK, I wanted more I realised. This took a backseat since I had to “adult” first and raise two babies.

Phoenix Rising

By the time I moved back to South Africa, I had decided I wanted a side or back piece (Only about 10cm big) of a phoenix. I have faced many adversities and managed to get over many stubbling blocks in my life time.

Associated with the Sun, a phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor. According to some sources, the phoenix dies in a show of flames and combustion, although there are other sources that claim that the legendary bird dies and simply decomposes before being born again

I went off to a recommended tattoo artist who told me that the bird I wanted was never going to look the way I wanted it to look, at the small size I wanted. So they set out drawing what they said would be the right size…. My entire back.

This was beautiful, and powerful and gorgeous. And I wanted it so badly, I told them to go ahead.

5 hours later; my body went into shock. The outline was done, but because I was so very skinny at the time as well as 5 hours is a long sitting – we called it a day. After that day I had another 4 sittings with this tattoo artist. A couple years later I went to a female artist who coloured my bird; added beautiful tail feathers and extended the wings.

Shortly after that I had my first thigh piece done. A crystal heart that represent my household, surrounded by my husband and children’s birth flowers.

Taken by Peter Driessel from
Boudoir Fusion Photography

The love affair continues at AWHE

But the bug has bitten. A couple years ago I went AWHE Tattoo’s and had my thigh piece added to. I am obsessed with geometry and ancient geometrical shapes – and the meaning of it.

I’ve added two triangles that are meant to be prisms with a rose inside of each.

One is facing up and the other downwards. Triangles represent the past, present and future as well as body mind and soul. Pointing up triangle means strong foundation or stability; pointing downwards would signify ascend from above/heaven. Upwards triangle also indicates male as downwards indicates female. This all tied together with a plant motive (although the triangles aren’t together they grow together)

Medusa

My next piece is my Medusa.

In Greek mythology, Medusa was a monster, a Gorgon, generally described as a winged human female with living venomous snakes in place of hair. Those who gazed upon her face would turn to stone.

Though Tony and I stumbled across the idea, it has deeper meaning to me. And without divulging too much into that; it does represent a stage in my life where I have questioned male intentions.

Skull

Along came the skull. This piece is probably the only piece that doesn’t have a personal attachment for me. It’s F*#king amazing right?? At the end when we all pass away we return to bones then to dust. My pretty skull lady has my favourite flower (Orchids) on top her head and a mandala behind her and you can see glimpse of it through her eyes.

Flower of Life etc.

My next piece was my butterfly with the Flower of life and Metatron Cube. I am very spiritual and upon my journey to figure out what my purpose is; I have learnt that I am a 22 (in numerology this is a powerful number) and that I’ m a powerful healer. Metatron’s Cube starts with the Fruit of Life shape, and connects all 13 circles with straight lines.  It’s named after Archangel Metatron, who watches over the flow of energy in creation and provides a connection to the divine.

My piece on my arm (which will likely grow into a sleeve) is from my very favourite artist Chiara Bautista. Her art is a mixture of love stories. To me I see the universe in all of them.

My latest tattoo is a vine-like plant on the right side of my body. This has so much potential to add to should I wish. I love plants and I’m rather surprised that I don’t have more on my body. Plants remind me of growth, Mother Nature, natural healing and most of all renewed love and beauty. Like second chances.

NEXT!

My next tattoo will be done on April Fool’s day. Though Tony and I have a couple things we are adding to my art work; I still keep thinking of new ideas.

I want people to want to take a closer look. Not think that it’s just another body covered in tattoos. Tony’s talent is beyond amazing!! I am blessed that he is my artist and has become such a dear friend. All of the AWHE team are incredible.

You may get hold of Tony on 072 248 0092 for any tattoo related quotes and bookings. Check him out on IG: @tony_barcelos and @awhe_tattoo_lifestyle_studio

Wild Woman

Wild Woman

WILD WOMAN (n) A woman who has reclaimed her birth rite as an emotional and powerful being. A woman who does not confirm to societies expectations of her gender: but dances to the beat of her own drum.

She is sensitive and soft, fierce and honest. A truth seeker, wisdom carrier, and messenger of her ancestors 🖤

A wild woman is so many things, but this archetype is often misunderstood. 

To every archetype there is both a shadow and integrated side

Wild women are mothers who have reclaimed themselves. Committed lovers who prioritize self-love and understand that freedom is an inside job.

Wild women are single women who choose to laugh, make love and play with whoever lights their spark, free of societal pressure or self judgment.

A Wild Woman with integrated qualities has a thirst for knowing herself and a desire to go deep beyond the surface of what we see as normal. She is fierce, loving and honest. She is a seeker, a wisdom carrier.

She is willing to walk alone to have what she deserves and she is willing to let love in when it arrives.

She isn’t wild because she lives a certain way, she is Wild because she lives by the guidance of Spirit and her Heart.

From @risingwoman