Last week I posted on Instagram that I came across another post on Facebook of a guy that moans and bitch about women who “allow their bits to hang out” whilst adding some motivational quote as a caption.
“So what” I say! So what that some women (or men) feel great/empowered/comfortable enough to do that. If you do not agree with it or do not enjoy seeing it; move on. Unfollow. Don’t look! Save yourself from this scary atrocity (insert gasping and screaming)
After posting this a young lady replied in my comment section that it is “not about the bits that’s hanging out, but more about self-respect. Your body is your temple”. Weeeeellllllllllllll that was me. Leaving it for a few minutes; as I wouldn’t want my emotions to get the better of me. This prompted me to remind myself not only of the ignorance and misinformed population/era/society we live in but also that many people choose to follow whatever they are told.
So my explanation to this have several points, and I guess together with sexual exploitation, abuse of any kind and human trafficking; this topic is something I am very very VERY passionate about.
For the mere ease of general day to day life, we as humans have not only grown accustomed to a “microwave society” (everything is done with ease in a limited amount of time); we have started replacing having to deal with “things” with technology, substances, alcohol or any type of escapism.
Never more evident than plonking kids in front of a telly in order for you to get on with things. Or thrusting a device into the children hands whilst out and about to ensure there are no tantrums, begging or moaning etc. We much rather go buy a packet sauce than making the sauce ourselves. We much rather enjoy getting high or do a few shots to have a great time than to have proper stimulating conversation or dance, party and pull an all nighter with the assistance of something.
My point is (there is one hahahaha); we would not think twice to use toxins that pollute our bodies, or use technology that takes our focus and growth away. It is so much more convenient to use foods that’s so incredibly processed or treated with chemicals. Never mind what these toxins are doing to your health. Never mind what that cigarette or alcohol is doing to your body or health!
So this “self-respect” thang
Self-respect starts with you looking after yourself. That you have enough self regard to do that. It means self-love. It means having faith in yourself. It means being proud of yourself. Being nude and happy in your skin surely then means having self respect? This brings me to the next point.
I mentioned to this young lass that I hope to inspire other women by doing what I do. And her retort was that she would not find it empowering. YES!! I agree, you do not have to find what I do motivating, inspirational or empowering. In fact; as the saying goes; Modesty empowers some and Nudity empowers others.
You do YOU Boo
HOWEVER; if at the age of 39 I have had the guts to start over. To change my body, to kick Lupus’ ass each day, to kick depression’s ass each day, to take up new hobbies and lifestyle changes. To change my profession and follow my dreams. To face heart break, grief, absolute devastation, trauma, abuse and still – STILL face the world. Still standing strong in what I believe in – in all my nudity and show that I am winning every single day; whilst being a mother helping one child through Uni and another through their goals to become an Olympic athlete – then YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!! THAT is how I wish to empower and motivate people.
Don’t tell me people that are semi naked or naked on social media have no self respect. You have NO IDEA what is going on in their life. No idea, why they do what they do. If it bother’s you so much; scroll past or unfollow. Stop pissing on each others batteries. There is enough sunshine for everyone; you do not need to put people down to feel better about yourself.
I am often asked how my children feel about what I do.
There are some who have even suggested that what I do may
“scar” my daughter. “Have you thought about the implications of what you do,
would have on her?”
This is for you….
In a world today; where it is easier to buy your daughter
a princess outfit – show her how she already is a princess and to accept
nothing less from anyone.
In a world today; where it is easier for an opportunist to
“pass the buck” and blame circumstances or other people for their behaviour and
mistakes – show her to take responsibility for her own actions and decisions,
to learn from them and not to make them gain.
In a world today; where people will tell you to dress in
a certain way to be socially accepted or not to “draw unnecessary attention” –
be YOURSELF and wear whatever the hell you want to.
Rather than telling your daughter that she should respect
herself and love herself, show her how to do this by doing it
yourself. Stop staring in that mirror with disapproval. Stop saying out loud
that you are fat. Stop comparing yourself to other women. All of that?? That is
all SEEN by your little girl….absorbed….and that is you teaching her NOT to
Rather than talking about what others may think…show
your daughter that self-respect starts with you believing in yourself – no matter
what others think. To stand up for your own beliefs – no matter what others
Strong and Empowered
You know what our world needs? More strong and empowering
women who backs one another. That encourages one another. Who believes in one
Less gossiping. Less discussing and unpacking each other’s
Who cares what she wore?
Who cares whether she made effort with make-up?
Who cares whether she’s a size 20 or a size 4?
The best feeling in the world is knowing that there are
others who have your back. That you can conquer the world because there’s a
tribe of women that will always be by your side. You know what is better than
that? Being one of those women.
How do we create such a system? By being those women and our
daughters SEEING it, EXPERIENCING it.
My daughter has been brought up in an environment that
there is no pressure to look a certain way.
That loving yourself has nothing to do with how much or
how little clothing you have on, at any given time. That being beautiful does
not mean that you have to be a certain way, or look a certain way. That being
lady means that you believe in yourself and in others. Being a lady means that
you are generous in giving love and kindness – not whether you have clothes on
That people will always have an opinion – and that is
okay; that is their prerogative. People will judge. That’s human. It is not for
us to return that sadness, nor judge them for feeling the way they do.
My daughter has been brought up; knowing that she is
entitled to respect and love – regardless of what and how much (or little) she
decides to wear. No one has the right to decide what she wants or deserves –
regardless of what and how much (or little) she wears.
Some people are comfortable nude.
Some people are comfortable being modest.
That is okay.
Your body is your temple
And you should be proud of your body. You live in it, you
have the tools to look after it. And that would shine brighter than words. Only
then will your daughter believe it.
She will become a self-loving, strong, empowering woman that
is kind and loving. She will be a lady
that will touch many people’s hearts and souls – and it will have nothing to do
with what she wears (or not wear)
How does my career affect my daughter?
She has learned that she’s beautiful when she accepts
She has learned that she’s strong and independent without
She has learned that self-respect starts with looking after herself.
She is learning that standing up for yourself is more rewarding
than nodding along with the masses.
She is very proud of what I do and the woman I am; and I
am humbled that I have the young independent and strong woman I see in my
How does my career affect my son?
He has learned that no matter what – you respect another human. Especially women. They are all goddesses. They are all worthy of love, worthy of kindness and worthy of being treated with respect. That they are a man’s right hand – and his heartbeat.